‘Really? Why not him?’ Poppy asked.
‘I can’t afford the place solo, and he reckons he can swing it. My mum is taking me in.’
‘We’ll be on the same street again,’ Poppy observed.
‘So we will,’ Norah said.
There was an awkward pause.
‘We could walk together in the mornings,’ Norah eventually said.
‘Yes, please. Freddie can keep Luna focused,’ Poppy said, happy to move past the weirdness.
But then Norah went quiet again before sighing heavily. ‘He met her on an app. She lives in the next town, so I don’t know her. Which is something.’
Poppy’s jaw tightened, a spike of rage surprising her. ‘I see,’ she said. ‘How long?’
‘About six months. Not long after we started couples’ counselling,’ Norah explained dispassionately.
‘What a fucking dick,’ Poppy growled.
‘I guess that once we started the counselling, he realised just how fucked we were, and he decided to check out fully,’ Norah mused.
‘He didn’t have to go about it like that, did he? If he thought it wasn’t working, he could have just officially ended it.’
‘Maybe he thought I would understand. That I’d be happy to have a stay-together-for-the-kid situation,’ Norah shrugged.
‘Again, he could have been upfront. Asked you if you wanted to do that,’ Poppy insisted.
Norah chuckled, tiredly. ‘The funny thing is, I might have said yes.’
‘Stop it,’ Poppy tutted.
‘No, I’m serious. I didn’t want to be in the marriage anymore. Not for years. I might have told him to have at it. I think he probably sensed that and thought, Why ask?’
‘You’re blaming yourself,’ Poppy said.
‘I’m not, I’m actually... relieved. What he did let me off the hook. I don’t have to make it work anymore.’ Norah said. Suddenly, a tear ran down her cheek. ‘It’s only ever been Freddie stopping me from ending it. He’s gonna be so sad when I tell him.’
Poppy felt deeply for Norah. She wondered if she should hug her. But they didn’t do that. She decided to comfort her with words. ‘He’d have been sadder with an unhappy mum. He might not have known now, but with time, he’d have picked up on it,’ Poppy assured her.
Norah nodded and wiped away the tears. ‘Yeah, maybe.’
‘It’s true. I’ve noticed it,’ Poppy admitted.
Norah looked surprised. ‘Have you?’
‘I haven’t seen you in a long time, so I don’t want to compare you to your teenage self,’ Poppy said nervously. ‘But you didn’t seem... at your best.’
Norah sighed. ‘I wasn’t. You’re right.’
‘But you can be, now,’ Poppy told her.
‘Are you sure? I don’t even know what that looks like anymore,’ Norah said sadly.
‘When things end—things you’ve invested a lot in—it takes time. Give it that. It’ll be better eventually. You’ll come back to yourself,’ Poppy vowed to her.
Norah raised an eyebrow. ‘Did you have a marriage end?’
‘No, but I did have a pop career that ended. Sorry, that’s a bloody stupid comparison, isn’t it?’ Poppy said, rolling her eyes at herself.
‘I don’t know, is it?’ Norah asked.
Poppy steeled herself to get very real. She had to. Norah needed it.
‘I wasn’t sure if it was what I wanted, but I went all in anyway because what else was I going to do? And when it ended, I was relieved but also scared to death because it was all I’d known for years, and I didn’t know what the fuck was going to come next. Who was I without it?’ She stopped, scared that she’d said too much. ‘Am I warm?’
‘Boiling,’ Norah said with a smile.
Poppy was glad to know that Norah felt understood. She badly wanted to be there for her once again. But this time, she wasn’t going to screw it up.
‘You ever get recognised these days?’ Norah asked.
Poppy smiled. ‘Never.’
‘How?’ Norah asked, stunned.
‘That was the great thing about the way they dressed me in the band. As soon as it was over, I went back to dressing like me, and I was incognito,’ Poppy explained.
