Poppy was now matching Norah’s freak out, which made it all that much worse. She wanted to press her, but she was in the midst of her own panic. It was all such a mess. What the hell had they done?

‘We shouldn't have kissed,’ Poppy blurted. ‘You’re right. It was a mistake.’

Norah blinked, taken aback by Poppy's sudden change in demeanour. ‘OK, good. We’re in agreement,’ she said, trying not to be hurt. Which she knew was a bit bloody rich when Poppy was only repeating what she had said a moment ago. She was only getting rejected in the middle of her rejection.

Norah shook her head, trying to be an adult in the situation, if a little late. ‘We... we kissed. It happened. Let’s move past it.’

‘Yeah. OK,’ Poppy said. ‘Fucking Blue Nun.’

‘Right. Blue Nun,’ Norah agreed before looking at the bottle.

They’d hardly touched it, but it was a way out. It would make it OK if they could blame booze.

But it didn’t feel OK. It felt fucking awful. Norah had handled this whole thing so badly. All the more reason to get out before she made any more mess.

‘I should go,’ Norah said softly, her voice breaking the silence.

‘Yeah,’ Poppy replied, her voice barely above a whisper.

Poppy saw Norah at the door, and they said goodbye briefly before Norah legged it down the street back home. She knew that whatever had sparked between them tonight wasn't something she could dismiss lightly. But she was gonna give it a hell of a try.

Thirty-One

Poppy closed the door behind Norah and went back into the living room. She glanced at her guitar leaning against the coffee table, a silent witness to the evening's unexpected turn.

‘You bastard,’ she whispered to it. ‘You just had to make everything sexy, didn’t you? Couldn’t help yourself!’

The guitar, obviously, didn’t reply.

‘Oh, now you’ve got nothing to say?’ Poppy spat.

She sat down on the couch, turning the anger away from the guitar to the place it needed to be—on her. She shouldn’t have played the song. She’d known what she was doing, what she hoped the music would achieve. But getting what she wanted had been the worst thing that could have happened.

Because Norah had pulled back, she didn’t want this. She’d never wanted it. She was just in a bad spot, yet again. Poppy’s lips were never more than a life raft.

But she wasn’t going to let it go the way it had last time. The first chance she got, she was going to face this head-on, talk to Norah, and air it all out. Then, they could go back to being friends. Poppy could manage that. She was an adult now.

Right?

***

Poppy was behind the counter of The Sugar Cube, but her brain was elsewhere. She’d had a rough morning.

It had taken just about every drop of will she had this morning to convince Luna that she wasn’t going to school as Elsa from Frozen. Luna had negotiated masterfully, saying she wasn’t going to school otherwise.

Poppy didn’t have any cards to play at that point except bribery, winning her over with a promised visit to McDonald's at the weekend. Poppy had felt like a failed parent as she took an appropriately dressed Luna to school. But she got the kid in the door, a thin victory and a draining one. 

Poppy had been hitting the coffee hard as a result, and she was on the jittery side by the time Norah came in at twelve fifteen.

‘Hi,’ Norah said, smiling widely. Poppy could have counted all her teeth.

‘Hey. Missed you at the gates this morning,’ Poppy observed.

‘I was running early for a change,’ Norah said, the hundred-watt smile still going strong.

Poppy couldn’t match it. So she went the only way she knew. ‘What’s up with your face?’

Norah’s smile fell off. ‘What?’

‘You’re smiling like... It’s a bit Joker if I’m honest,’ Poppy said frankly.

Norah laughed nervously. ‘Sorry. I’m just trying to be normal. I guess I missed.’

Poppy nodded. ‘Sit down, I’ll bring your usual.’

Norah went and sat down while Poppy made a coffee.

Poppy scanned the cafe. It was not busy yet, but it would be shortly. Hard to squeeze in a heart-to-heart around the lunch crowd. She’d have to make it quick. The rush was upon her.

She took the coffee over to Norah. ‘Can I sit with you a minute?’

Norah nodded, looking slightly daunted. ‘I hoped you would.’

They were on the same page, at least. This was going to be a good old-fashioned air clearing.

‘Right, so...’ Poppy began, lacing her fingers together across the table, which was weird. She felt like she was interviewing Norah for a job. ‘So last night... happened.’

Norah nodded. ‘Yup,’ she said.

Poppy hesitated in case there was going to be more. There wasn’t. Norah was letting Poppy do the heavy lifting. Poppy didn’t know if that was fair, but she was willing to do it anyway.

‘We’d had wine, and then you watched me play the guitar, which is, of course, a known aphrodisiac,’ Poppy said, trying to keep things light for both their sakes.

A nervous giggle escaped Norah. She was quick to shut it down.

‘But that’s not... We’re not going down that road again, are we?’ Poppy asked.

It was a real question. Part of her still clung to the tiniest hope that she might not seem sure that she wasn’t travelling that way with Poppy.

‘I can’t,’ Norah said with conviction.

A little bit of Poppy shrivelled up and died. Another part of her sighed and fetched the shovel.

‘I don’t mean to imply you wanted anything else. Like, I’m sure you’re just as... I mean, I know it was an accident for you too,’ Norah babbled.

Poppy didn’t quite know what to say to that. She didn’t want to lie, and she didn’t want to tell the truth. So she just stayed silent. You couldn’t use someone’s silence against them, could you? That was why you stayed quiet during arrests. What you said could be used against you. That also applied to awkward post-snog chats.

Poppy and Norah looked at each other for a long moment, the weight of unspoken truths hanging between them. Poppy was no longer sure whether the silence was a strategic move or just sheer panic-induced paralysis. Either way, it was buying her time.