V

The dinner was over, the wine had been brought in, and the cigars were out. The groups of talkers had formed, and the captain of the merchant fleet was the center of the largest. His brilliant white uniform quite outsparkled his listeners.

He was almost complacent in his speech: ‘The trip was nothing. I’ve had more than three hundred ships under me before this. Still, I’ve never had a cargo quite like this. What do you want with five thousand fluoro-globes on this desert, by the Galaxy!’

Loodun Antyok laughed gently. He shrugged, ‘For the non-Humans. It wasn’t a difficult cargo, I hope.’

‘No, not difficult. But bulky. They’re fragile, and I couldn’t carry more than twenty to a ship, with all the government regulations concerning packing and precautions against breakage. But it’s the government’s money, I suppose.’

Zammo smiled grimly. ‘Is this your first experience with government methods, captain?’

‘Galaxy, no,’ exploded the spaceman. ‘I try to avoid it, of course, but you can’t help getting entangled on occasion. And it’s an abhorrent thing when you are, and that’s the truth. The red tape! The paper work! It’s enough to stunt your growth and curdle your circulation. It’s a tumor, a cancerous growth on the Galaxy. I’d wipe out the whole mess.’

Antyok said, ‘You’re unfair, captain. You don’t understand.’

‘Yes? Well, now, as one of these bureaucrats,’ and he smiled amiably at the word, ‘suppose you e)fplain your side of the situation, administrator.’

‘Well, now,’ Antyok seemed confused, ‘government is a serious and complicated business. We’ve got thousands of planets to worry about in this Empire of ours and billions of people. It’s almost past human ability to supervise the business of governing without the tightest sort of organization. I think there are something like four hundred million men today in the Imperial Administrative Service alone, and in order to coordinate their efforts and to pool their knowledge, you must have what you call red tape and paper work. Every bit of it, senseless though it may seem, annoying though it may be, has its uses. Every piece of paper is a thread binding the labors of four hundred million humans. Abolish the Administrative Service and you abolish the Empire; and with it, interstellar peace, order, and civilization.’

‘Come—’ said the captain.

‘No. I mean it.’ Antyok was earnestly breathless. ‘The rules and system of the Administrative set-up must be sufficiently all-embracing and rigid so that in case of incompetent officials, and sometimes one is appointed – you may laugh, but there are incompetent scientists, nd newsmen and captains, too – in case of incompetent officials, I say, httle harm wili be done. For, at the worst, the system can move by itself.’

‘Yes,’ grunted the captain, sourly, ‘and if a capable administrator should be appointed? He is then caught by the same rigid web and is forced into mediocrity.’

‘Not at all,’ replied Antyok, warmly. ‘A capable man can work within the limits of the rules and accomplish what he wishes.’

‘How?’ asked Bannerd.

‘Well . . . well—’ Antyok was suddenly ill at ease. ‘One method is to get yourself an A-priority project, or double-A, if possible.’

The captain leaned his head back for laughter, but never qmte made it, for the door was flung open and frightened men were pouring in. The shouts made no sense at first. Then:

‘Sir, the ships are gone. These non-Humans have taken them by force.’

‘What? All?’

‘Every one. Ships and creatures—’

It was two hours later that the four were together again, alone in Antyok’s office now.

Antyok said coldly, ‘They’ve made no mistakes. There’s not a ship left behind, not even your training ship, Zammo. And there isn’t a Government ship available in this entire half of the Sector. By the time we organize a pursuit they’ll be out of the Galaxy and halfway to the Magellanic Clouds. Captain, it was your responsibility to maintain an adequate guard.’

The captain cried, ‘It was our first day out of space. Who could have known—’’

Zammo interrupted fiercely, ‘Wait a while, captain. I’m beginning to understand. Antyok,’ his voice was hard, ‘you engineered this.’

‘I?’ Antyok’s expression was strangely cool, almost indifferent.

‘You told us this evening that a clever administrator got an A-priority project assigned to accomplish what he wished. You got such a project in order to help the non-Humans escape.’

‘I did? I beg your pardon, but how could that be? It was you yourself in one of your reports that brought up the problem of the failing birth rate. It was Bannerd, here, whose sensational articles frightened the Bureau into making a double A-priority project out of it. I had nothing to do with it.’

‘’You suggested that I mention the birth rate,’ said Zammo, violently.

‘Did I?’ said Antyok, composedly.

‘And for that matter,’ roared Bannerd, suddenly, ‘you suggested that I mention the birth rate in my articles.’

The three ringed him now and hemmed him in. Antyok leaned back in his chair and said easily, ‘I don’t know what you mean by suggestions. If you are accusing me, please stick to evidence-legal evidence. The laws of the Empire go by written, filmed, or transcribed material, or by witnessed statements. All my letters as administrator are on file here, at the Bureau, and at other places. I never asked for an A-priority project. The Bureau assigned it to me, and Zammo and Bannerd are responsible for that. In print, at any rate.’

Zammo’s voice was an almost inarticulate growl, ‘You hoodwinked me into teaching the creatures how to handle a spaceship.’

‘It was your suggestion. I have your report proposing they be studied in their reaction to human tools on file. So has the Bureau. The evidence – the legal evidence, is plain. I had nothing to do with it.’

‘Nor with the globes?’ demanded Bannerd.

The captain howled suddenly, ‘You had my ships brought here purposely. Five thousand globes! You knew it would require hundreds of craft.’

‘I never asked for globes,’ said Antyok, coldly. ‘That was the Bureau’s idea, although I think Bannerd’s friends of The Philosophy helped that along.’

Bannerd fairly choked. He spat out, ‘You were asking that Cepheid leader if he could read minds. You were telling him to express interest in the globes.’

‘Come, now. You prepared the transcript of the conversation yourself, and that, too, is on file. You can’t prove it.’ He stood up, ‘You’ll have to excuse me. I must prepare a report for the Bureau.’

At the door, Antyok turned, ‘In a way, the problem of the non-Humans is solved, even if only to their own satisfaction. They’ll breed now, and have a world they’ve earned themselves. It’s what they wanted.

‘Another thing. Don’t accuse me of silly things. I’ve been in the Service for twenty-seven years, and I assure you that my paper work is proof enough that I have been thoroughly correct in everything I have done. And captain, I’ll be glad to continue our discussion of earlier this evening at your convenience and explain how a capable administrator can work through red tape and still get what he wants.’

It was remarkable that such a round, smooth baby-face could wear a smile quite so sardonic.

From: BuOuProv

To: Loodun Antyok, Chief Public Administrator, A-8

Subject: Administrative Service, Standing in.

Reference:

(a) AdServ Court Decision 22874-Q, dated 1/978 G.E.

1. In view of the favorable opinion handed down in reference (a) you are hereby absolved of all responsibility for the flight of non-Humans on Cepheus 18. It is requested that you hold yourself in readiness for your next appointment.

R. Horpritt, Chief, AdServ,

15/978 G.E.

Evidence