‘You had no option besides that.’

‘Chhee! Go away from here. I can’t stand you any longer.’

Suman had quarrelled a lot that day; Riziya didn’t spare him either. Suman’s argument was that if Preeti was his child, then she couldn’t be told anything about the Muslim community. Why should she say ‘pani’? She’ll say ‘jol’ instead. Why should she hear the word ‘Allah’ time and again from Riziya’s lips? She should learn the names of gods and goddesses. Riziya stopped arguing with Suman – because that crossed the wall and reached Aaduri’s ears. Riziya thought that it was on Aaduri’s instigation that Suman was behaving so badly with her of late. She was able to understand the state of Suman’s mind now.

Sometimes she thought that although he was educated, he was also a bit of a fool. He relied more on his emotions rather than his intelligence. Riziya suddenly remembered another day’s incident.

Suman had returned home with a Shiv-ling – a phallic representation of the Hindu god Shiva – made of stone. He told Riziya in a very casual tone that he was going to install it. ‘I brought it for daily puja. This has to be worshipped every day with bael leaves and Ganga water, Reena.’

‘Meaning? Why should I do the puja?’

‘You should. How does it matter?’

‘No! That’s impossible. You did not like idol worship. So why all this?’

‘I still don’t. Who said I am worshipping this piece of stone? I am also a monotheist. But can you imagine God? Hindus imagine various qualities of God and worship them. The Shiv-ling is the foundation of shakti. There’s nothing wrong with it.’

‘No. I can’t do all that.’

Suman told her various philosophical things. But when she refused to consent, he flared up in rage. It never occurred to him that Riziya was refusing to comply out of ingrained customs because she belonged to a Muslim household. He thought it was because Tahirul dwelt in her heart. Suman nurtured a secret jealousy regarding him. Was it out of that jealousy that Suman had clung on to a faith different from Tahirul’s? Was that why he tried to persuade Riziya to accept that faith? Riziya was still not able to comprehend that.

Even after coming to Konnagar, Suman got associated with an organization. It was probably a branch of the organization he was with earlier. He was supposed to be given the complete responsibility of the Islampur branch, but since he had come away from there, that hadn’t happened. After arriving at Konnagar, Suman rejoined the organization. The members had been delighted to hear about his prior association. They wanted to project Suman as a model in their propaganda campaign. The fact that he had married a Muslim woman was especially important to them. But both husband and wife would have to participate in the campaign. Only then could the message be delivered properly! But Suman wasn’t able to do that. The main reason for that was Riziya’s personality, her faith. He wasn’t able to explain that to the people in the organization. Riziya was not the kind of person they had in mind. She hadn’t come to the Hindu community because she saw that as an ideal; she had only come seeking shelter. Whoever else there may be to whom this was not clear, it was definitely clear to Suman.

The educated Suman from Sadnahati had changed a lot. He had recently started being close to Preeti. He sat to teach her of his own accord. He used to go for a stroll to the temple with her. He had hung up calendars of various gods and goddesses at home. He pointed to and named each one out to her every day. There were such a large number! He used to ask her to offer namaskar to the images. Actually, Suman had developed a stubbornness. Although he hadn’t been able to make Riziya a Hindu, he would succeed with Preeti. Or perhaps it wasn’t just a matter of religious fervour. It was an act of rebellion on his part, his dogged resolve to defeat Riziya. Or else why would a man like Suman change so much? The Suman who was disgusted with religion got intoxicated with religion! He kept pressuring Riziya to perform pujas and observe festivals. Out of compulsion, she had agreed to that too, for people to see. But the day Suman started drinking alcohol, she could no longer accept his behaviour.

Riziya could never have imagined living together with this Suman. How did Suman, the teacher in Sadnahati, become a drunkard? Riziya began fighting with him in rage, distress and grief. After that, Suman consumed alcohol almost every day before he returned home. He came back very late. Riziya had shouted at him in disgust, ‘Chhee, chhee! You dare to stand in front of me after consuming that haram substance!’

‘Haram! Why are you teaching me what’s right and wrong? I’m Suman Nath, the son of a Hindu. In which scripture is it laid down that we are forbidden to drink, my dear Riziya Khatun?’

Suman addressed her as Reena. But he was calling her by her true name while fighting with her. He started guffawing in his drunken state. Riziya was scared. He had assaulted her physically that day. Suman’s speech was slurring, and he was unsteady on his feet, yet every word and sentence was piercing her like arrowheads.

‘What did you think, Riziya? You thought you would warm a cuckoo’s egg and raise the chick in a crow’s nest? And the egg cracked at seven and a half months and produced a baby?’

Riziya had wept inconsolably that day. She wanted to hold his feet and ask him to be quiet. The drunk Suman had grabbed her by her hair and thrown her away. Such unexpected behaviour from Suman hardened Riziya too.

Riziya’s relations with Aaduri were not cordial now. That wasn’t untoward. But Aaduri was fond of Preeti. Riziya and Suman had quarrelled a few times because Riziya didn’t let Preeti go to Aaduri’s place. Suman tried to intimidate her about it. The last and most ugly scene had been about taking her to see the idols during Durga Puja. Suman had said to Riziya, ‘You never go out any year. I’ll go out with the girl on the day of Ashtami.’

‘Do that. Who’s stopping you?’

‘Preeti says she won’t go without her beloved Aaduri Aunty. She had gone out with her last year too.’

Suman had said that deliberately, as a jibe in response to Riziya’s persistent squabbling regarding Aaduri, about his friendly relations with Aaduri Boudi. It was out of a sense of gratitude for what Abinash Babu and Aaduri Boudi had done for them ever since they had arrived in this new place that he had become close to her. And it wasn’t that only they knew exactly how deep that close relationship was – it wasn’t concealed from Riziya either. Riziya had, in fact, wondered whether even the venerable Abinash Babu was in the know, but that had remained a mystery.

When a person consciously did something sinful, they rationalized that in their mind. The rationale motivated them to do the sinful deed. Aaduri had appealed to Suman, and he had merely responded to that. Suman didn’t think that was very wrong. Why was Riziya so agitated about this matter!

Whether out of annoyance with Riziya or to see her reaction, Suman had suddenly mentioned Aaduri that day. Suman tried not to quarrel in front of Preeti. She was in school then. That was the day they had a historic quarrel. Suman had consumed alcohol that day too, right in the morning. That was the first time Riziya had sworn at him and humiliated him. And two truths were expressed. She had stripped naked the sham of their ten-year family life. Riziya had cried out in great distress, ‘If I had known even a little that a filthy man lives inside you, I would never have thought to trust you. Rather you took advantage of my helplessness and made me agree.’

‘Wow! Riziya! You remembered this after such a long time? Yes, I wanted to marry a Muslim girl from Sadnahati. To make her my bedmate. Why shouldn’t I want that! Your co-religionist Alam married my Sujata Pishi, and even before that, you Muslims destroyed the lives of so many girls from Jogipara. I wanted to take revenge. Sandip Da made that easy. We made use of the anger of the Sadnahati folk against you, we conspired. I instigated you to run away in order to take revenge. Yes, I’m glad I did it!’

Riziya had sunk into a chair in a state of shock when she heard that. Was this the Suman who had been her private tutor! Who was she speaking to? This unadulterated admission by him after living together for ten years made Riziya feel so foolish and helpless that instead of responding to that, she had begun to weep. She had cried out, ‘You brought me along to take revenge on the Muslims of Sadnahati? You deceived me all these years?’

‘Yes, I deceived you. And listen to something else then. I would never have told you this unless you too deceived me. We are even now.’

‘How did I deceive you?’

‘I’ve been wandering around for nine years with a suspicion in my chest. That suspicion has ended now. Why didn’t you get pregnant again for nine years, Reena? Do you know why? I had consulted a doctor and got myself tested. I have azoospermia. I have no sperm in my body. And listen, I didn’t test myself for your womb. I had done it for Aaduri. She wanted me to give her a child. She couldn’t get that, so she has cast me out. So tell me, whose sperm was Preeti born of? You have to tell me today!’

Riziya began to tremble after that. And then she turned her face in the other direction and calmly replied, ‘Whoever else it might be, at least you know it’s not yours!’

Suman was unable to remain there after that. It was as if he had strived so long only to know this truth. He seemed to have turned blind with acute distress after having been put to shame by Riziya. Without saying a word, he left the house. He had destroyed his life of honour in Sadnahati and come away – perhaps he was deceived everywhere. Sandip had given him false dreams, and Riziya did that too.

At a complete loss, Suman went and sat at the railway station. So many people were coming and going. He thought himself to be the only defeated, humiliated failure of a man among all the hundreds of people there. After coming away from Sadnahati with Riziya, the life of respect and uprightness in which his youth had been spent there seemed to have turned pale. His perception of life had fallen apart. He was constantly thinking of his Ma. He had got the news of her death much later, but he hadn’t been able to visit. The tulsi pedestal and the old house that his Baba had built floated into his mindscape. He could see his younger brother Abhi and all the people of Jogipara in the scene he imagined. Everyone was their own self. It was only Suman who was absent in Sadnahati. Maruf’s face also peeped into his mind. Why was Suman so nostalgic? Why was he feeling like turning to Sadnahati time and again? Was it because he had no other place to stand?

Suman was thinking about the toxic sentences he had uttered to Riziya while quarrelling with her. Were those really the main reasons for the discord? Didn’t he love Riziya from the time of her adolescence? Then why did he tell her what he did? Suman had only intended to strike her a terrible blow. The more he could wound her, the more he would think of himself as a victor. Was that what Suman was thinking? But it was true that Preeti was not his child – it was the ultimate scientific truth. Shouldn’t Suman have guessed this? Was he such a fool? Was he unaware of the gossip that had circulated in Sadnahati pertaining to the Imam Saheb? Was that why the distraught Riziya had appealed to him to take her away from Sadnahati? Had she used Suman as a shield to protect herself from slander? And had Sandip Da then taken advantage of that and played a terrible game with him? Was he really a staunch and fierce supporter of Hindutva? Hadn’t Suman believed in harmony and coexistence ever since his childhood? Hadn’t he sought to find parallels between the two principal religions despite the thousand differences between them? Hadn’t he concluded that religion was nothing but humanity? And rituals and ceremonies merely outward things?

He had set foot in a trap in the hope of a permanent job. That, too, had been because of Riziya, in order to be able to take care of her; to have the means to be on board the ship of life. Suman was simply unable to forgive anyone. Neither Riziya, nor Sandip Da, or even himself. Responding to Aaduri’s invitation had also been horribly wrong. He was scorching with remorse. Actually, the more Riziya desired Tahirul inwardly, the more Suman tried to get intimate with Aaduri. It was absolutely true that he seemed to have got into a kind of competition with Riziya. The more she neglected him, the more he held her in contempt. And days and years went by in this way. But for how long could life continue in that manner?

The last train was to Howrah. Suman had boarded an empty compartment although he did not possess a ticket. He was unable to decide what he ought to do. He felt terribly distressed, but the very next moment he was assailed by a sense of guilt. His turbulent mind was hounded by dark thoughts.

Suman had got off at Liluah station. It was very late at night. He had some money in his pocket. He wanted to have a drink. The illicit liquor den was not far from the station. He had bought a bottle. As soon as he unscrewed the cap of the bottle, he remembered Riziya. What did she tell him? Haram! That he shouldn’t stand in front of her after consuming the forbidden substance. Suman remembered that and began to laugh all by himself. He had burst into obscenities. ‘You bitch, you dare to teach me what’s right and wrong? Was it lawful to set up home with someone else while carrying an illegitimate child in your womb?’ Suman was gulping down the alcohol. He was drunk. He suddenly began to weep. As he wept, he abused Sandip, he abused Riziya. He dragged every religion into the ambit of his rage. What bloody religion! The priest at the Dakshineswar temple had got angry because he had married Riziya. Because, apparently, she was a mlechchha woman. Meanwhile, the Muslims were perturbed that Suman, a non-Muslim, had married a Muslim girl. Suman swore a lot, screaming that he had married a woman. Could any bastard distinguish in the darkness of night who was a Hindu and who Muslim! There was only a female body then. And love. Ardour. Which religion did that belong to?

Even if the things he had said to Riziya were true, the real truth was hiding in the recesses of Suman’s mind. He had not been able to express that truth. Suman could have accepted everything if only Riziya had admitted the matter to him. After all, Suman had given up everything, his family and village, and the respect and honour he commanded. Why did she nurture thoughts regarding Maulana Tahirul then? Why did she remain steadfast in the faith taught to her by Maulana Tahirul? Why did she refuse to worship the Shiv-ling? Why didn’t she love Suman with her all?

Suman paced from one end of the platform to the other well past the middle of the night, all the while venting his drunken rage. He had asked the stationmaster for a pen, and in that state of his, he wrote something on a piece of paper and put it into his breast pocket. He sobbed a few times, calling out loudly, ‘Ma! Ma!’ People were sidestepping him, thinking him to be a drunkard, a vagabond, or a lunatic. Observing a goods train coming from the Howrah end, Suman stepped down from the platform and began staggering along the railway track.

Suman hadn’t returned home for two days. Riziya was very worried. Suman had been angry and perturbed before, but he had never left home in a fit of wounded pride. Riziya was anxious and remorseful. Who had deceived whom, she wondered. Why had she kept the biggest truth secret from Suman?

Riziya had gone and spoken to Aaduri. She asked her whether she knew where Suman was. Where might he have gone? Had he returned to Sadnahati after all these years? But Aaduri was unable to tell her anything. She begged Abinash Babu too for help in finding Suman, and he had indeed searched a lot. He had filed a missing person complaint in the police station. After that, news was received that Suman’s mutilated body was lying in a clump of shrubs at a short distance from Liluah station. He had jumped in front of an approaching train and taken his life.

As Riziya thought about all this, the tears streaming down her eyes drenched Preeti’s head.

seventy

The sky above Sadnahati had seen a decade go by. But had its colour changed at all? The colour did not normally change, it had to be changed. Had the dream that some youths like Maruf, Farid and Dr Jasim seen turned grey? Were they even still young? The population of Sadnahati had become quite diverse within a decade.

Perhaps the real youthfulness of some youths arrived much later. Their bodies grew older but not their minds. Or else why would the passion for social change awaken again in the minds of the likes of Maruf? But had Maruf been able to define the fundamental problem in the Muslim community after all these years?

Maruf was now the chairman of the mosque committee in Sadnahati. As soon as he was given the responsibility, he took the initiative to bring about a change in the traditional work programme. The mosque was not merely the specified place for prayer, it ought to be a community centre – a seat of Muslim culture. In his first year, Maruf wanted to observe the annual gathering in a big way. It was decided that a public library would be set up adjoining the mosque. The imams and muezzins belonging to all persuasions in the nearby area would be felicitated during the annual gathering. The mosque committee would organize a blood donation camp in the morning. In the evening, illustrious people would be honoured. Non-Muslim people, those who nurtured positive feelings regarding the Muslim community, would also be invited. Let Sadnahati turn into an ideal of communal harmony. And at night there would be a religious gathering. Like there was before. A development plan for Sadnahati would be presented that day. That would be delivered to the Panchayat office, for them to study. Maruf also wanted to bring Rafiq Ali Sheikh, the pradhan, or chief, of the Panchayat, into the mosque committee.

A plan prepared by Dr Jasim was accepted. A health centre would be opened next to the mosque library. A charitable dispensary. The common folk were still quite apathetic as regards medical treatment. And next to the dispensary would be a computer training centre. Computers had become increasingly important now. The common people had started using mobile phones. It was very important for Muslim students to acquire knowledge in this field.

Meanwhile, a climate of hate had sprung up in every nook and cranny of Sadnahati. Hatred separated people, it pushed people away from one another. If the hatred was towards a person afflicted with an incurable disease, it seemed to turn into hellish cruelty. Because that disease was called AIDS. There was an AIDS patient in Sadnahati. A feeling of rage accompanied by hatred had been created in the minds of the villagers. When people from other villages too were astonished and asked, ‘What’s happened?’, they were secretly devoured by a sense of shame too. In fact, people had various kinds of wrong notions about AIDS. They were afraid too. AIDS was apparently extremely communicable.

Raqibul aka Rocky, from the Miya household, had returned to Sadnahati after nine long years. This wayward son of Kalu Miya had suddenly disappeared one day. So much had happened in the Miya household in Sadnahati in these nine years. Riziya had run away with Suman, Salaam Miya was laid up in bed with paralysis, and Kalu Miya had died, but Raqib did not know about anything. He hadn’t even heard about his father’s demise. That, however, was only to be expected. Where had he been all these years? What did he do? He hadn’t been able to tell anyone why exactly he had left. He wasn’t in a fit state to do that.