She grabbed a bag of popcorn, returned to the couch, and tossed a kernel into the air, catching it on her tongue. “I’m like a seal.”
“Me too.” I held open my mouth, and she tossed me one.
I caught it on the tip of my tongue and yanked it back, lizard-style. “Look at us. A couple of seals.”
“We have so much in common.”
“Because of that?”
She downshifted into serious mode. “No, but for other reasons. Think about it. We’re both driven, we’re both determined to succeed, we both work hard. And we both like Tripp. But I bet you can’t wait for him to move out so you can have this place to yourself.”
I couldn’t wait, and I would also wait a thousand years if I could keep having her here like this. I was a Lulu junkie. I’d take the pain for the hit of pleasure.
“You ready for next week?” I asked, choking on the question, but needing to ask it just the same. The more I stuck my finger in the flame, the less it would hurt when the skin burned.
“Yes. My mom’s giving me away. Which is kind of against the grain, but I’m totally excited about it.”
“It’s always been just you and her. You two are so close. It’s fitting that she does the honors.”
“It feels right, you know? She’s my family, and we’re tight.” She crunched on more popcorn, her expression turning somber, a touch of sadness in those mismatched eyes. “I feel bad that Tripp’s parents hate each other so much that they’ll be on opposite sides of the room. I hate how his dad is constantly trying to buy his love with gifts, but never time. And he needles his ex-wife like he wants to wear Vivian down. We have to make sure they don’t sit at the same table at the rehearsal dinner or the reception.”
“Yeah, that sucks. Vivian’s great, but I know she can’t stand being near his dad. I wish they could be there for Tripp instead of against each other.” I reached for more popcorn.
“That’s something else we have in common. Even though your family is traditional and mine isn’t, we both rely on them so much. I rely on my mom, and you on your parents and your brothers. But Tripp doesn’t really have anyone to rely on.”
“True.” When he was a teenager, his parents had fought and fought until they finally divorced, and the intensity of the vitriol was hard as hell on him.
She leaned closer to me, her eyes big and vulnerable. “That’s why we have to look out for him, Leo. We’re the family he wants. Promise me. Promise me that you and I will look out for him.”
I swallowed hard, past the bile of my own guilt. “He’s like a brother to me. I’ll always look out for Tripp.”
“I love that you see him that way. That’s how I see you guys too, and it makes me happy. You’re best friends, but you’re also brothers.”
“We are.” It was the truth, and a necessary reminder.
When he came home a little later, he finished the mushrooms and polenta, served us an amazing dinner, and cracked open a new bottle of wine. Lulu insisted we dance and toast to the sounds of Bruno Mars.
I called Daphne, and she joined us, and that made the rest of the night more bearable.
I didn’t ask her to come to the wedding with me though.
I couldn’t ask anyone else to endure being my plus-one at what was both a celebration and a funeral.
A week later, Tripp adjusted his bow tie in the hotel suite. “What do you think? Am I a handsome devil or what?”
I met his gaze in the mirror. “I’m not going to answer that.”
“C’mon, don’t I look good?”
“Yeah, jackass. Like a penguin.”
He smacked my back, laughing. “If I look like a penguin, what do you look like?”
I considered my tux, same as his except for the cummerbund. “Best man?”
“You’re like the runner-up penguin.”
I winced inside. He had no idea. “Let’s stick with best man.”
He smiled, a big, genuine one. “All right. Time to go marry the love of my fucking life.” He turned to me, tugging on his cuffs even though they were neat, his smile slipping away. “You know Lulu is the best thing that ever happened to me, right?”
My heart lurched. In moments like this, Tripp was my brother, shedding all his lightness, all his masks. “I know that, man.”
“I love her like crazy.”
“I know you do.”
“She’s the only thing in my life that’s made sense. Well, besides cooking. But you know what I mean?”
He was talking about his family. “I know what you mean.”
He stepped closer, emotion straining his voice. “I want to do right by her. My whole life.”
The guilt lassoed my waist, yanking tighter. But I’d done nothing wrong by loving her. I’d never acted on it. I shouldn’t feel so much damn guilt. Just be his friend, like you’ve always been, I told myself. “You will, Tripp. You will.”
“You really think I’m good enough for her?”
