I smiled. Now that he summarized my monologue, it sounded clearer. “I think so. But I pray every single day to treat people well. It’s such an ongoing battle.”
Marshall had an incredulous look. “You?” he sounded shocked. “Marlee, you’re pretty much my role model for how to treat people. I had no idea that you struggle with keeping your emotions in check!”
I was stunned. I am a role model? I mused. He thinks I treat people well? I was touched by the compliment, but before arrogant thoughts multiplied, I knew that I had God to thank.
“You know Marshall,” I said after a moment, “this is the first summer that I have really gotten to know you.”
“Yeah, it’s best when I keep quiet,” he murmured.
I tilted my head, silently asking him to elaborate on his thought.
“I do such stupid stuff, Marlee. Like dumping my pack. Telling to you shut up. I’m sorry, by the way,” he murmured. I nodded and he continued, “Shoving my injured brother in front of the girl he has a major crush on. That’s between you and me,” he quickly added with wide eyes, as if he had been sworn to secrecy and accidentally spilled the news. I giggled with a nod. He looked frustrated with himself and continued, “I forgot to carry your pack when you had a stick in your head. And that’s just in the last few days. Marlee, compared to Sawyer, I feel like such a mess up. If I could be half as successful as him, I’d be a hundred times better than I am now. I’m just little Marshall who tags along in Sawyer’s shadow, but he will always outshine me. Anything I try to do, Sawyer has already done, and done much better than I’ll ever do.” He shook his head and finished his self-attack.
I sighed, feeling surprised at how hard he was on himself. I was unsure of how to encourage him. Suddenly, a thought popped in my head, and I sure hoped it was from God. “Marshall,” I said slowly and he looked at me, “what would you say if I said all that negative stuff about myself?”
He shrugged, “Well it wouldn’t be true, and I would say that you were being too hard on yourself.”
I nodded, “Interesting.”
“What?” Marshall prodded.
“Marshall, I think you treat other people well. Most of the time,” I added with a half smile. “Give yourself a break. If you hiked all day in my boots, you could find plenty of errors. But you’re not attacking me about them. Don’t attack yourself either. Lighten up.”
He silently considered our conversation as Ellie and Sawyer approached. They were talking happily to each other as they walked toward us. Sawyer’s limp was not any worse than before, but it was noticeable. Before anyone could ask how he was doing, he called out, “Let’s pack up and head toward the ranger station.”
Marshall and I squatted down to carry the sticks to Lydie. She held up the tarp with a faint smile. “This twenty dollar tarp is turning out to be a lifesaver!” We all smiled at her.
“Good thing Marshall insisted that I pack it,” Sawyer stated. We girls turned to face Sawyer who was looking at Marshall. Marshall gave a slight smile, but his eyes shone with pride. “That’s right,” Sawyer continued, “I said we wouldn’t need a tarp for this trip, but Marshall insisted. Turns out he was very right. And I’m very glad you insisted, Brother,” he said with a nod to Marshall.
Marshall smiled. “Good work, Marsh,” I said.
“Yeah, thanks a ton, Marshall,” Lydie piped up. “Without your preparation, I wouldn’t experience the flying tarp ride.”
We laughed again before Sawyer said, “Well, we probably could have figured out a catapult system to launch you to the ranger station. But, after this, I’ll always have a tarp along.”
I thought that Sawyer’s public compliment would surely boost Marshall’s spirits. I hoped so anyway. I think it’s sad when people are so negative. Certainly self-discipline can be helpful, but not when it is so harsh that it prevents a person from thriving. Anyway, I hoped that Marshall would begin to see himself as capable and worthy of respect.
10
“How does it feel, Lydie?” Ellie asked. Sawyer and Marshall had just set Lydie on the makeshift stretcher, and we were beginning to lift the branches to test it in action.
“So far, so good,” Lydie gave a thumbs-up.
“Does it feel like the tarp will stay in place, or is it slipping out from under you? The last thing we want is you falling,” Sawyer said as we continued holding her just above the snow.
“It feels pretty secure right now. Believe me, Sawyer, I’ll scream if I feel it slipping,” Lydie said with a smile.
“Okay, then. Ready, Pals?” Sawyer asked.
“Ready,” four voices called back to him.
“Onward,” he said, “I think it’ll take us awhile to find a pace that works for all of us. For now, we need to communicate. Slower, you two,” Sawyer told Marshall and me. Ellie and Sawyer were in the front, on the downhill side. Marshall and I were in back, by Lydie’s head, on the uphill side. We decided that having a guy on each end would help Ellie and me, since the guys are stronger. We also thought that since Sawyer and Ellie are the tallest two, they should be on the downhill side. Lydie smiled up at me as Marshall and I slowed our steps.
Sawyer had rigged up a system with his climbing rope in which the rope was tied to Marshall’s and my ends of the stretcher poles. We slung the rope over our shoulders and held onto the rope with our hands at waist level. Lydie’s head was at about my knee height, mostly level with her feet, which were up by Sawyer’s and Ellie’s waists. The setup was to help keep Lydie level. Otherwise, at the steep angle of the mountain side, she would be insecure on the stretcher riding at a 45 degree angle. The remaining 160 feet of climbing rope was neatly coiled on her lap.
With the four of us working together, Lydie and the rope were pretty light. However, my clutch on the ropes felt uncomfortable and I was so hungry that my stomach panged. I was glad that Sawyer had given me a pair of leather gloves to wear. I had winter gloves along in my pack, but it would be difficult to grip tightly enough with the bulky thermal gloves. Marshall had graciously offered to carry my pack, which I appreciated. I could hear his stomach growling, though, so I figured by mid-morning I should offer to take a turn. Right now I had Lydie’s pack on my back, but it weighed considerably less than mine.
“I’m fine with this pace,” Ellie said, “Should we go a bit quicker?”
Sawyer hesitated, “Maybe when we find the trail.” Ellie shrugged, glanced at his limp, and continued at the slower pace.
I glanced at Marshall. He seemed to be mostly comfortable. As usual, I figured he’d be stronger physically than me, and this task was proving so. I already felt winded, and the rope pressing on my shoulders hurt. I had replaced my warm jacket with a light sweater before we left. Though the air was still crisp, we would heat up quickly now that we were hiking. And the lower we went on the mountain, the higher the temperature would be. I always thought that seemed backward, since usually heat rises. Dad explained to me that oxygen is less dense at higher elevations, and it is the oxygen that has the ability to hold heat. So, as the oxygen density decreases, so does the temperature.
Right now I wondered if I could adjust the climbing rope to rest on the shoulder straps of Lydie’s pack on my back, so the rope wouldn’t rub my shoulders. I almost asked the group if we could stop, even though we had just begun, but then I saw Lydie’s hopeful and admiring countenance. She was looking at me as if I had just won the Nobel Peace Prize. Her gaze invigorated me, and I made a strong effort to ignore the rope pinching my shoulders.
The only sounds were our breaths and our boots crunching in the snow. And the occasional growling stomach. It was kind of serene in a way. I mean, if I looked past the fact that we were evacuating my sister, and our parents were probably frantic. Suddenly, Lydie spoke up, “I just love you all. Seriously, you’re carrying me on a tarp!” she declared with a smile.
We smiled. Ellie and I affirmed that we loved her too, and even Sawyer said, “Aww, you too, kiddo.” Marshall just gave an awkward smile.
“Really, thanks for carrying me like this,” Lydie stated.
“It’s a medical evacuation, actually,” Marshall said with a teasing smile. And on we went.
Twenty minutes later, we were still struggling to find a comfortable pace. Ellie visibly restrained herself from going faster, and she made it clear to us that she was frustrated with the slow speed by loudly sighing every few minutes. Sawyer shuffled along steadily, almost dragging his aching right leg. Marshall seemed comfortable enough, and I had discovered that by shifting the rope slightly, it weighed down on my muscle rather than my bone. For now it was working.
“Can you two in the back go any faster?” Ellie asked. Her voice sounded polite, but given the circumstances, it was rude. I wondered with disgust how she could even consider asking that aloud when it was clear that Sawyer was in considerable pain.
Not wanting to embarrass his brother again by reminding her of Sawyer’s leg, Marshall gritted between his teeth, “If we take longer strides, our legs will bump Lydie’s head.”
