Thank you to Caroline Zancan for being a phenomenal editor and friend throughout the making of this book. Your brilliance, warmth, and humor are unparalleled; you make books better and you make writers better. Not to mention, it’s just plain fun working with you. I’m equally grateful for the rest of the Henry Holt team: Amy Einhorn, thank you for believing in the manuscript. Caitlin Mulrooney-Lyski, you have made such a difference in my career. Lori Kusatzky and Leela Gebo, I’m endlessly in awe of how smoothly you make everything run. Hannah Campbell and the rest of the editorial team: I’m so grateful for your thoughtful attention to detail. Nicolette Seeback Ruggiero, I’m the biggest fan of your jacket design. Clarissa Long, thank you for the work you put in to get the book noticed out in the world. And to the design, sales, publicity, and marketing teams: thank you for the time and creativity you dedicate to getting people reading—not just this book, but all books.
Thank you to everyone who read some version of this novel and offered crucial feedback: Diana Spechler, for your superpower of knowing when someone “does that thing”; Shelly Oria, for your pitch-perfect sense of how people talk and think; Cristina Rodriguez, for all the conversations we’ve had over the years that gave me the courage to write a book like this (not to mention your editorial insight); Emily Pittinos, for being the poet in my life; Mark Polanzak, for talking with me on those Adirondack chairs about Lila; Stephanie Boeninger, for your scholarly expertise (and, of course, getting me to take surfing lessons with you); Keegan Drenosky and Elizabeth Bridghman, for offering your professional and scholarly expertise when I had questions; Teddy Wayne, for your support and last-minute edit; and Michael Andreasen, Sarah Lazer-Gomez, and Kerri Joller—your friendship and enthusiasm for this novel meant a great deal at a very crucial time. I am fortunate to have friends that I can share my work with—it makes writing so much less solitary to know that one day you’ll all read it. But mostly, thank you all for being smart, funny, and loving people who talk and laugh about the weirdness of life with me. I always thought I’d get increasingly afraid as I grew older, but I’m not, and that’s because I’m too excited by everything we have yet to talk about.
I owe so much to Virginia Woolf, Charlotte Brontë, and all the writers who have and continue to, as Woolf wrote, “cut” the literary road for women and work to keep “the path smooth.” Thank you to the readers who give this book a chance and help my writing have a life out in the world—I love hearing from you. I am equally grateful for the booksellers out there who write early reviews and blurbs when they could be doing many other things.
Thank you to Alexis Gargagliano—it was special to come full circle and work with you again. Thank you to Providence College for the CAFR grant that supported this novel. To the Tiny Pool people—you are new bright lights in my life that inspire me to keep writing. And to my cat, who I realize will never read or understand this, but who quite literally sits by my side and keeps one supportive paw on my forearm while I write, an act that finally deserves a little public recognition.
To my parents, my brother Gregg, Andrea, my aunts and uncles—thank you for your unabashed enthusiasm anytime something happens with my writing. I tell everyone (and maybe don’t tell you all enough) how lucky I am to have a family that reads my novels and then talks to me about them. It feels like a rare gift to bridge the gap between my writing life and my family life—something I’m only able to do because you’re astonishingly open, curious, and loving about it.
Finally, to the strangers I’ve met over the years—the people who bought me nachos and made me laugh while stranded at an airport, the ones in coffee shops who asked me what I was working on, the ones on trains and planes who exchanged life stories with me when they could have just pretended that I didn’t exist. You all helped me feel like a person during moments when I least felt like a person. You told me stories that reminded me about the many ways a person can live a good life, about how to start over, about how to make it through that impossible thing. I’ve never known how to express my gratitude to people I’ll never see again, except maybe in this way. Consider this book a very long thank-you letter for saying hello.
ALSO BY ALISON ESPACH
Notes on Your Sudden Disappearance
The Adults
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Alison Espach is the author of the novels The Adults, a New York Times Editors’ Choice and a Barnes & Noble Discover pick, and Notes on Your Sudden Disappearance, which was named a best book of 2022 by the Chicago Tribune and NPR. She has written for Vogue, Outside, McSweeney’s, Joyland, and many other publications. She is currently a professor of creative writing at Providence College in Rhode Island. You can sign up for email updates here.
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Contents
Title Page
Copyright Notice
Dedication
Epigraph
Tuesday: The Opening Reception
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Wednesday: Sailing
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
