Maybe that’s why she was crying. She liked me, but she didn’t want everything that came with me, so she felt torn. I was the right guy at the wrong time.

And maybe she was the right girl at the wrong time for me too.

I couldn’t think of a worse period in my life for this to be happening.

By 10:00 Emma didn’t text, and it didn’t even surprise me.

I got Chelsea in bed and I sat down at the desk in my room to try to get some work done. An hour into it she finally called.

I watched the phone ring for a few seconds. She was going to break things off with me. I knew it in my soul. I could feel it.

I hit the answer button. “Hey.”

“Hey,” she said. Her tone was apologetic. I pinched the bridge of my nose and braced for it.

“I was wondering if you wanted some company,” she said.

I raised my head. “Huh?”

“I’m outside.”

I froze for a solid five seconds. Then I bolted up and ran to the window. She was standing with an umbrella on the sidewalk under the streetlamp. She had the rosebush with her, sitting at her feet. The rain was falling softly and she peered up at me. I put my fingers on the glass.

“We’ll try it,” she said, into the phone. “I’ll stay.”

CHAPTER 37 EMMA

I woke up to my alarm at 5:30 in Justin’s dark room.

He pulled me into a warm sleepy hug. “Don’t go.”

“I have to,” I said quietly. “I don’t want the kids to know I stayed the night.”

He groaned and nuzzled into my neck.

This is how we’d been doing it for the last two weeks. Me, sneaking in after the kids went to bed and getting up to leave before they woke up. It was very exhausting and extremely inconvenient.

It was totally worth it.

Maddy and I extended our contract another six weeks at Royaume. Maddy said it was technically still my turn since I’d only asked for six weeks to begin with and a turn is usually three months long. So we were here now until late October.

We hadn’t talked about what would happen next. Me and Maddy or me and Justin. I was a little afraid to.

I was already extremely outside my comfort zone. But at least I had six more weeks to feel this all out.

In the meantime, Maddy and I did need to decide on a new living situation. It was September now and we were officially over the island. Justin had offered his apartment for free for the few months he still had it. Maddy liked free, so we packed up and vacated the cottage, but the studio was unfurnished with only enough room for the one air mattress that Maddy and I had to share—and it had a giant toilet bowl outside. So we’d been looking at other rentals but hadn’t found one we liked yet.

Mom hadn’t even noticed I’d left. But then she’d barely cared when I was there, so that made sense.

Something was starting to shift inside of me with Mom. Maybe because I hadn’t spent this much time adjacent to her in almost fifteen years, but I was realizing that even though I loved her, I wasn’t sure I liked her.

Even thinking this felt wrong. She was my mom. But I didn’t like what she did to Neil that day in the driveway. It put such a bad taste in my mouth, and she hadn’t made any attempts to see me since then so the feeling lingered.

She never replied to any of my texts from the days I was sick. Didn’t return one call. Never circled back to check on me. Even Maria had texted to ask how I was.

I looked at my watch.

Justin hugged me tighter. “Staaaaaay.”

“You’re seeing me later,” I said. “I have to go. Maddy needs her car.”

He shifted until he was half on top of me and his boner was pressed into my thigh. “Why don’t you just take mine next time?” he said, peppering tiny kisses down my collarbone.

“I can’t take your car.”

“I have the van,” he said, his hands wandering. “Alex can’t drive it yet, so it’s just sitting there. Uber the next time you come over and take my car home.”

He slipped a hand into my underwear and I sucked in a breath of air. “What time does Alex get up for the bus?” I whispered, tipping my head back as he nibbled on my ear.

“Another forty-five minutes…”

Plenty of time.

“Let me brush my teeth.”

We both got up and went to the bathroom. Justin stood there brushing his teeth over the sink, no shirt, bare perfectly defined chest, blue pajama bottoms with a hard outline in the front that I liked very much. I smiled around my toothbrush.

I could not get enough of him.

Opting for these sleepovers instead of actually sleeping was starting to affect my work. I’d been over here so much I’d only slept in the bed at the Toilet King studio three times since the first night I came over.

He made my lunch every day—enormous, chaotic bags of snacks and sandwiches. He always made one for Maddy too. He kept trying to get me to stay for one of his breakfasts, but that meant eating with the kids, so I never did. I bet they were good though.

I rinsed my toothbrush and trained my gaze on the front of his pants.

He spit. “Uh, my eyes are up here.”

“Uh-huh,” I said, not looking up.

“That’s it. I’m cutting you off.”

I gasped. “What? Why?”

He gave me a fake stern look. “You need to stop using me like a piece of meat. It’s dehumanizing. I’m serious.”

I cracked up and he crashed into me and walked me backward to the bed, laughing. He slid over me on the mattress and kissed me, his smile so big I could feel it against my mouth.

I loved this. Everything about it.