I shook my head over the mess. “What the hell happened?”

She pushed a loose hair off her forehead with the back of her hand. “Amber happened. I’m sorry you had to come. There’s no way the two of us can clean this up. It’s Emma’s birthday tomorrow. If we don’t help her get through this today she’s going to be small for a week, and I will not let that woman ruin another important day for her.”

“Yeah, of course,” I said, looking over the clothes. “What can I help with?”

She handed me the basket. “Take this up. It’s the last room at the top of the stairs. Emma’s in the walk-in closet.”

“All right.” I turned for the house.

“Justin—”

I stopped and looked back at her.

“Do you know what to do when she gets small?”

I shook my head. “No.”

“She’s going to get really detached and distant. Give her space, but don’t leave her alone. And whatever you do, never let her take off.”

“Okay…”

“I’m serious,” she said. “Keep her near you. Put her in a room, let her isolate, let her sleep, bring her food. Don’t talk to her until she’s ready to talk, give her time to come out of it. But don’t let her leave.”

I nodded. “All right. Why?”

“Because she won’t come back.”

By the matter-of-fact way she said it, I knew she meant it. And I wondered what she’d seen to make her believe this.

I realized that Maddy was probably one of the only people who’d ever taken care of Emma. She was probably the only person that Emma allowed to take care of her.

And now there was me too. And I would. However I needed to.

I carried the basket through the house to find Emma hanging things up in the closet of the master bedroom. When she saw me, her face went from surprise to crumpled in the course of two seconds flat. I set the basket down and wrapped her in my arms, and she burst into tears.

Protectiveness surged through me. I hated this.

I could feel how tired she was. It reminded me of the way Mom felt the day she left. An emotional exhaustion. Bone weariness.

Only love hurts this way. And the way that her pain hurt me was love too.

“How did you know?” she whispered.

“Maddy called me,” I said, tucking her under my chin.

She nodded into my chest. “Thank you for coming.”

“Just meeting you where you are. In a closet.”

She laughed a little, and I tightened my grip around her.

“Where’s Amber?” I asked.

“In the bathtub.” She sniffled.

“What time does Neil come home?”

“I called Royaume. Hector says he’ll be there until at least four.”

“Okay,” I said, pulling away to brush the hair off her forehead. “So we have some time. We’ll get it all cleaned up, okay? Does he know?”

She shook her head solemnly. “No. But Maria will tell him.”

“What do you think he’ll do?”

She hugged her arms around herself. “Kick her out? That’s what they usually do.”

I drew my brows down. “Does she do this a lot?”

“She does this every time, Justin.” She peered up at me, her eyes sad. “I don’t know what’s wrong with her.” Her chin started to quiver.

I pulled her into me and held her again. “Maybe it’s better if she leaves,” I said, quietly. “Maybe it’s better for you.”

She shook her head. “When she’s here, it’s this. When she’s not, I’m just braced for the call because she’s doing this somewhere else where I don’t know if she’s safe.” She paused. “There is no better for me.”

We stood there, me holding her and her taking calming breaths in my arms. “We need to hurry,” she said finally. “I don’t want Neil to see this.”

I spent the next hour carrying heavy baskets up the stairs like a pack mule. When we finally got everything off the lawn, the three of us blitzed the closet. About halfway through, Amber came dragging out of the bathroom. Emma tried to get her to help with the cleanup, but it was almost more work to get Amber moving than to just do it herself so she gave up.

It was obvious Amber was in some sort of meltdown. I knew I should probably look at her actions the way Emma did, with empathy and not anger, but I was angry anyway, because I was pretty sure Amber didn’t do anything to try to help herself. I think she allowed Emma to mitigate the damage, and I think she’d been doing that since Emma was little. I could see now why Maddy hated her.

If this had been her childhood, Emma never got to be a kid. She didn’t even get to be a carefree adult. And I didn’t know how to help or what to even tell her. How would I feel if my mom were like this? How do you not care if someone you love is having a complete mental breakdown?

Amber felt like a curse.

I understood now why Emma wanted so badly for Amber to be working on herself and why Maddy didn’t buy it and wanted her gone.

Maybe Neil would get her to agree to the inpatient program Emma told me he offered. Now I found myself hoping. Maybe Amber never had the means or the support to get the kind of help she needed. Hell, maybe Amber would do for Neil what she never did for her own kid and get her shit together. Maybe this would be the turning point. Because if it wasn’t, when would this end?

By 3:30 we were done. Emma brushed out Amber’s hair and put it in a French braid, then left her asleep in bed.

We came down the stairs to Maria in the kitchen. “You threw out the flowers,” Maria said, pouring herself a glass of juice. “I wondered how long they were going to rot.”

Emma stopped. “If you saw them rotting, why didn’t you toss them?”

Maria scoffed. “Because she told me not to touch her stuff? So I don’t touch.”

“And what does Neil say about that?” I asked.