“That’s a ridiculous statement. You don’t like any beach? In the world?”
“I don’t like your kind of beach—”
“What’s my kind of beach?”
“Beach resorts that are totally insulated from the country they’re in.”
“How do you know I like that kind of beach?”
“Well, I’m pretty sure you’re not going to Bora-Bora to learn about the indigenous Maohi people.”
Lainey laughs. “How the hell do you know their name?”
“I know stuff.”
Lainey rolls her eyes. “Okay. So where would you want to go?”
“I’d have to think about it,” I say, as it occurs to me that it’s easier for me to say where I don’t want to go than where I do. Come to think of it—the same is true when it comes to my job. And my relationship. Maybe Hannah’s not the only one who needs a reset.
“What about you, Hannah?” Lainey asks. “Where do you want to go?”
“Oh, I’d go anywhere with y’all,” she says, clearly just playing along.
“What if we each picked a place?” Lainey says.
“Like an Eat, Pray, Love type thing?” Hannah asks.
“More of an Eat, Shop, Party type thing,” Lainey says.
Hannah smiles and shakes her head.
“Seriously. Remember how we were supposed to take that European vacation after we graduated?” Lainey asks.
Hannah and I nod. Of course we remember. We had planned a three-week trip with Summer, each of us picking one spot. I’d chosen Madrid; Lainey picked Amsterdam; Hannah picked Paris; and Summer picked Capri.
“Would you still choose Paris?” Lainey asks, looking at Hannah.
“I don’t know. Maybe. I’ve still never been. Grady had no interest.”
“No interest in Paris? Seriously?” Lainey says. “That’s reason enough to break up with him. What the hell?”
“He doesn’t like museums or churches,” Hannah says.
“Of course he doesn’t,” I mumble under my breath. “What an idiot.”
“We should go there,” Lainey says, looking at Hannah.
“I don’t know—the most romantic city in the world might be a little painful right now.” She gives us a wan smile. “Then again, what was it that Audrey Hepburn said? Paris is always a good idea?”
“Always!” Lainey says. “I think Paris should be a front-runner here.”
Hannah gives her a tight smile as Lainey turns to me and says, “And what did you have, Tyson? Was it Portugal or Spain?”
“Spain. Madrid,” I say, remembering how excited I was at the prospect of seeing the great works of Goya and Velázquez and walking the Camino de Santiago.
“What about that, then?”
“Nah. I don’t fuck with colonizers these days.”
“Huh?” Lainey says.
I break it down for her as succinctly as I can. “I’m not interested in romanticizing Europe anymore. I know too much.”
“Okay. So once again: where would you go? If you hate the beach and you’re not down with Europe?” Lainey asks, as if that doesn’t leave huge chunks of six other continents.
“I didn’t say Europe—I said colonizers. There are plenty of European countries who never rolled up on anyone—” I start rattling them off: Bosnia, Croatia, Estonia, Cyprus, Finland, Belarus, Montenegro, Iceland.
“Okay. What about one of those?” Lainey says.
“What about Burundi?” I say, just to mess with her.
“Oh. That sounds nice!” Lainey says. “Is Burundi tropical?”
“Yes,” I say. “It’s in Africa. Beside Rwanda and Tanzania.”
“Love that!” she says. “Do they have luxury safaris?”
“Nope,” I say. “No safaris in Burundi.”
