I know what he’s getting at, and he’s not entirely wrong. But I dodge his question, feeling ashamed.

“Honestly, her main issue has always been the Greek stuff,” I say. “She blamed y’all for my not joining a sorority.”

“She’s not over that yet?” Lainey asks.

“She’ll never be over that,” I say, remembering how she didn’t speak to me for a month after I told her I wasn’t going to rush. That I was happy in a smaller friend group.

“But everyone will think you just didn’t get a bid,” she said to me at one point.

God forbid.

Another more recent memory pops into my head. Right after Grady and I got engaged, she took me out to lunch, just the two of us. One of her first questions was about the wedding party. Who was I selecting? I told her I had already asked Lainey to be my maid of honor—and was planning to ask my three closest high school friends to be bridesmaids. Of course, I got a sharp pang thinking about Summer, knowing that she would have been my maid of honor.

My mother got a wistful look on her face, and for one second, I foolishly believed that she sensed how I was feeling. I felt certain that she was going to say something comforting about Summer.

Instead, she pursed her lips and shook her head. “Only four bridesmaids?”

“Yes, Mom. Only four.”

She sighed, taking a sip of her Arnold Palmer. “It’s such a shame you don’t have more friends from college.”

I stared at her, gutted. “Yes, Mom,” I managed to say. “It’s a real shame Summer died.”

I didn’t expect an apology—my mother is incapable of saying she’s sorry—but I thought she’d at least change the subject. Instead, she kept right on talking about her own wedding and bridesmaids, all of whom were her sorority sisters. I was so close to telling her off, but I didn’t want to ruin our lunch. No matter how often she proved me wrong, I couldn’t help hoping that someday she’d show me the warmth I craved from her. So I let it go. The way I always did.

As I tune back into Lainey and Tyson, I hear Lainey say, “So back to our trip…Where are we going? Who wants to go first?”

“I will,” Tyson says.

Lainey rubs her hands together and says, “Well? Don’t leave us in suspense!”

He smiles and says, “So Burundi will have to wait for now. I choose Capri.”

Lainey’s face lights up. “Even though it’s a beach? And, you know, Mussolini?” she says, clearly forgetting that it had been Summer’s pick. I gently remind her, and she nods, looking chagrined.

We sit in somber silence for a few seconds before I say, “I love that, Tyson. It’s the perfect choice.”

“Yes. It is,” Lainey says. “It’s a great idea.”

Tyson exhales, then says, “So who’s going next?”

“I will,” I say. I have a pit in my stomach, knowing that Lainey is going to kill me. I look at her and take a deep breath. “Okay. So I know this is an odd choice, but just hear me out—”

“Oh, Christ,” Lainey says. “Are you taking us somewhere cold and remote?”

I smile nervously and say, “No. It’s neither cold nor remote. In fact, it’s quite hot there. And there are easy direct flights.”

She brightens a bit. “Is it near water?”

“Well…there are some springs….”

“Springs? Oh! Like a geyser? Is it New Zealand?”

I brace myself, then spit it out. “No. It’s Dripping Springs. Texas.”

She stares at me and says, “Is this a joke?”

“No, but we’re also going to Dallas. Which has a lot of very nice hotels.”

“What the actual fuck,” she says. “Veto!”

“No vetoes,” Tyson says. “Your rule.”

“Well, I’m not going to freaking Texas.”

“Lainey, I know you’ve always wondered about your sisters,” I say. “And that this secret has weighed on you. We just thought it would be cathartic to finally—”

“We?” Lainey glares at Tyson. “You were in on this?”

“It was my idea,” I say.

“Well, it’s a shitty idea,” Lainey says.

“But what if you meet them and love them?” I ask her. “Isn’t it worth a shot? Just think, you’d have family—”

“They won’t love me,” Lainey says, shaking her head.

“Listen. You aren’t responsible for your father’s decisions any more than they are,” I say. “Maybe you can give them a chance and see if they can rise to the occasion. It’s a big hole in your life, Lainey.”

“I don’t have any holes in my life. I’m fine,” she says. “I’m great.”

I glance at Tyson, my expression pleading.

“We know you’re great, Lainey,” he says. “But I think Hannah’s right about this—and I know you’ve toyed with the idea over the years.”

“Not really,” Lainey says. “Not that much.”

I nod, then press on. “It must be hard, though—especially since losing your mother. But just imagine if you meet your sisters and end up being close to them.”

She rolls her eyes, but I can tell she’s giving the idea some consideration.

“Ugh,” she finally says. “This is the lamest pick of all time. Seriously. You have the whole globe to choose from, and you pick Texas?”

“We don’t have to stay there long,” I say. “Just long enough to tell them the truth—”

“Because the truth will somehow set me free?” Lainey rolls her eyes.

“Something like that, yes,” Tyson says. “Even if you don’t end up having an ongoing relationship with your sisters, I bet you’ll feel a tremendous sense of relief to let go of this secret. And you deserve that. For yourself.”