“Look at me, Mommy!”

Emma was wearing a tutu, and it spun in the air as she twirled. On her feet she was wearing pink Crocs, while her small legs were bare. On top she wore her favorite shirt, the one with glittery unicorns and rainbows on it. Marissa could tell that her daughter had worn it a lot, because most of the sparkles had fallen off. She wondered if she should get rid of it, but the girl loved it so much, she didn’t dare to. Emma’s strawberry blonde hair was tousled and curly and kept falling into her face. Her smile was the most beautiful on the planet and could melt any hardness in her mother.

“Look I’m dancing!”

The girl mimicked a video from YouTube that she had watched, featuring a group of young girls who were twerking, and it made her mother laugh, even if it was slightly inappropriate. Seeing a four-year-old do it was just too darn cute.

Marissa looked down at the potatoes she was peeling, allowing herself a brief moment of happiness. Could she finally relax? Were they safe?

What if things stayed good from now on?

She didn’t dare believe it. Marissa shook her head. No, it was simply too dangerous to fill herself with that kind of hope.

“Mommy, Mommy, can I go down to the water?”

Marissa looked up with a drastic change in her expression. Her blissful smile became a frown, and she raised her finger and kept Emma’s eye contact. She made sure her daughter looked at her and understood what she was saying.

“No. No going to the pond without Mommy.”

“Please? I wanna see the fishies,” Emma said, making those big begging eyes. It usually worked if Emma wanted snacks, but not when it came to this. The big pond behind their backyard was Marissa’s nightmare. She had often dreamed of finding her floating in that water, and the very thought made her nauseated. She had sacrificed so much to get them to where they were. She wasn’t taking any chances.

“No.”

Emma made a sad face, but then spotted a squirrel as it darted across the lawn and decided to run after it, quickly forgetting everything about the pond. Marissa watched her as she talked to the small animal that had taken shelter on the top of the palm tree.

“Mommy, the squirrel is back,” Emma yelled.

Marissa watched her for a few seconds, then finished peeling the potatoes. It was still scorching hot out even if it was October, and she had to make sure Emma drank enough water while playing outside. She put the potatoes in the buttered pan, then placed them in the oven after sprinkling cheese on top. She heard the washing machine play its annoying little song, letting her know it was done.

Marissa looked at her watch. She needed to put the clothes in the dryer, and, for that, she had to go to the garage. She hesitated. Should she ask Emma to come inside while she did it? No, that would be silly. She was having so much fun and getting fresh air.

Marissa walked to the garage and opened the lid of the washer. She started to pull out clothes and put them in the dryer. Emma would be fine. Besides, it would only take a few minutes to empty the washer and turn on the dryer. Five minutes at the most, she told herself. She emptied the washer and closed the dryer, while pushing back that intense nagging sense of urgency inside of her, telling her to go out and check on her daughter. She slammed the dryer shut and turned it on, then stared at the rest of the dirty laundry in the basket. She really needed to get another one going. There was time to put on another load, right? After all, it would only take another minute. Emma was fine. Of course, she was.

Marissa tossed the white wash into the washer, added detergent, and pushed the button to start. Happy that she was ahead of her own schedule for today, Marissa then rushed into the kitchen and peeked out the window.

But she couldn’t see Emma.

There’s no reason to panic. She’s probably just playing somewhere I can’t see. She’s fine. Nothing can happen in a closed-in yard.

Heart throbbing in her throat, she grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge on the porch. She felt a humid blanket envelop her, as was usual in Florida when walking outside from the dry and cold air-conditioning inside. She took in a deep breath to calm herself down and felt sweat spring to her forehead immediately. That was Florida for you. You could get soaked in sweat from the brief minute it took to walk from your house to your car in the driveway.

“Emma?” she said. “I brought you some water, you need to remember to drink enough in order to stay…”

Marissa paused. She looked by the tree where she had last seen her daughter talk to the squirrel. But she wasn’t there. She wasn’t in the bushes behind it or on the porch. Then she turned to look toward the small grass area at the end of the yard, where Emma often liked to play, and where she had hosted a tea party earlier for her imaginary friends, but she wasn’t there either.

“Emma?”

She could hear it in her own voice. The panic that was slowly spreading, eating her up from the inside, like a cancer.

“Emma?”

She rushed down the stairs, into the grass, and let her eyes frantically search for any sign of the little girl. Her voice was shrill as she yelled her name again and again, almost finding it hard to get the word across her lips because of the anxiety rushing through her slender body.

“Emma? Emma?”

Marissa ran to the end of the yard and stopped at the fence. She looked at the gate. It was still locked.

Marissa turned and looked at her small townhouse. Emma could perhaps be on the other side of the house. Marissa calmed down slightly. Of course, that’s where she was.

Marissa ran up to the house, then went around it, and rushed into the front yard. She would have to get angry at Emma for doing this when she knew she wasn’t allowed to. She might even have to put her in time-out. It wasn’t that big a deal, but with the circumstances they lived under, Marissa couldn’t be too careful. She couldn’t risk a car driving by in the street and someone seeing the child.

Time-out it was. Just for ten minutes. Maybe she would serve ice cream for dessert after dinner, as compensation. To make her happy again. Yes, that would work. Marissa didn’t like having to discipline her child.

“Emma? Emma, come here now. You know you’re not allowed to…”

Marissa turned the corner of the house, then paused.

There was no sign of the girl in the front either.

Then where could she be?

Maybe she went back into the house? Maybe she ran inside just as you stormed outside?

It was getting harder for Marissa to calm herself down. She ran around the house and up the back patio, then hurried inside. Sweat was springing from her forehead and upper lip now, and not just because of the high humidity and heat. These were pearls of anxiety.

“Emma? Don’t hide from me.”

Her voice sounded angry, but it was hard to hide the fear.

“Please Emma? I don’t have time for this, come here now.”

She looked through the living room, then the kitchen and ran upstairs. She rushed into Emma’s room, thinking she might be in there, playing, oblivious to her mother’s panic attack. That she would be sitting on the floor and look up at her with those big, beautiful eyes, like she didn’t understand what the urgency was about.

“Emma? Are you in here?”

She pushed the door open, but there were no eyes staring up at her. No cute smile or strawberry blonde hair falling into her daughter’s eyes.

And there was no Emma.

“Emma?” she yelled. “EMMA?”

Could she have been…? Could it be…?

For a moment she dropped her face into her hands. Don’t think like that. I mustn’t.

She lifted her head, unable to stop her torso from shaking. She tried to calm her thoughts.

Think, Marissa. Think!