I walked downstairs and outside to the porch swing, and I sat down.

I had finally stopped crying and was able to just sit there and try to shake the dream. My dream had been different from what really happened, but some of it was very similar. Like the feeling of being helpless, of feeling frozen and unable to move. Because of who he was. The feelings still sat with me if I let them, if I was alone and didn’t keep busy. That’s why I always made sure I had stuff to do. I couldn’t stand feeling those feelings. I couldn’t stand thinking about what had happened.

But what really bothered me about the dream was that it wasn’t just about the rape. It was also about this case. It was getting to me.

You know why.

I exhaled. I did know why. Because it reminded me of the first case I ever worked on, back when I was starting out as a detective in the small town of Ridge Manor. The disappearance of a young girl. It was never solved because then everything happened, and I was suspended, and I was moved to another homicide department in another city. The case became a cold case because of it. She was never found.

“It’s the belt buckle,” I said into the night. “I forgot about it.”

I know what I must do.

I stared into the darkness of the night, my hands growing clammy at the very thought. I knew exactly what I had to do, and it terrified me more than anything.

FORTY-EIGHTBILLIE ANN

I can do it. Billie Ann, I can do it.

I took a turn at the light and found myself driving down the main street of downtown Ridge Manor. I didn’t feel good at all. I felt terrible. My stomach was in knots, and my hands gripped the steering wheel tightly out of an instinctive sense of dread. I felt my heart race in my chest, and my breathing became ragged the closer I got to my destination. I tried not to focus on the task ahead.

Don’t overthink this. Just do it and do it fast.

The town looked the same. Nothing much had changed since I was there last. Still same old empty streets, an occasional dead racoon or armadillo on the side of the road after being hit by a car, and pickup trucks passing me carrying cages for hog hunting in the back. When I was younger, I would go hunting in the swamp that the town bordered. I once caught a ten-foot gator and sold the meat to Daisy at the Southern Harmony Café, where we always went for lunch when on duty.

As I took the next turn, I could see the swamp in the distance, and my unease grew rapidly with each passing street corner. I felt my grip tighten around the steering wheel, and my knuckles turned white.

I had never thought I would be back here again.

I had bought a bag of Reese’s peanut butter cups for the ride, and now I took the last one in the bag. I was stress eating. My mom would kill me if she saw me. She had always been on my case about my stress eating. I sighed when thinking of her. I hadn’t talked to her since I had thrown her out of my house. I missed her but didn’t really want to talk to her. She had really hurt me with her comments, and it was hard to get back from there. I wondered where my dad was in all this. Probably staying out of it as much as possible, as usual. He didn’t want to get involved in our family drama, and I couldn’t blame him.

Even if I could use his support in all this. But I knew my mom was in his ear about it and he would be betraying her if he showed me support. My dad had never been good at standing up to my mom, so I didn’t see that happening anytime soon.

But I couldn’t focus on my family problems right now. I had a job to do. I pulled into the parking lot of an old two-story house with a wraparound porch and a big magnolia tree in the front yard. It had been there since the beginning of the nineteen hundreds, and the story was told that they used to lynch people from it. It gave me the creeps. Always had. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves, and stepped out of the car.

The heat hit me like a ton of bricks, and I immediately regretted not wearing shorts instead of jeans. I took a deep breath and looked around, letting my eyes scan the area. I didn’t see anyone I knew, but that didn’t mean they weren’t watching me. This town had eyes everywhere. Nothing went unnoticed.

Not even a visit from one of its former cops.

I glared nervously at the house in front of me. It had been years since I was there last, but seeing it again made me stop breathing for a few seconds. I shook my head.

I can’t do it. I can’t do it.

I closed my eyes and steadied myself. Then I took in one more deep breath, before walking up the three steps to the porch. I opened the screen door and knocked on the door behind it.

Then I waited. Calming myself down.

Breathe, Billie Ann, breathe.

FORTY-NINE

Then

Kitty looked down at her protruding stomach, amazed at how big it had grown. Damian told her there were still two months to go. Would it really get bigger than this? It was already uncomfortable.

Thinking of it made her feel both wonder and dread.

Damian had said it would be fine, and she trusted him.

She closed her eyes and let the sunlight hit her face. Since she became pregnant, they had let her outside in the yard once a day for half an hour, so she could get some sunlight and vitamin D, Linda had said.

“It’s important both for you and the baby.”

The rest of the time she spent back in the shed, behind the bolted door. They had let her have a TV in there, but she couldn’t watch the news and wasn’t allowed to turn it on without someone being there to observe her. More than often, it was Damian who did that. He would sit on the bed with her, massage her feet when they cramped up, and they’d watch a movie or a show of some sort; and if she let him touch her, sometimes he would let her watch for longer, maybe an entire hour. It made the time pass faster in the shed, and she felt less lonely.

She had also gotten real food, homecooked meals, almost every night, now that she needed it for the baby. And vitamins, they would make sure she took those. Kitty thought they were being so kind, and she savored every moment of Damian’s presence when he came to see her.

It made her feel special.

It was only when she was all alone in the middle of the night that she would sometimes think of her mother, and she would miss her. But those feelings usually passed again, after she cried for a little.

After all, she also cared for Damian and Linda, and they loved her so much. She liked being with them.

As she stood there, lost in thought, enjoying the sunlight and the kicking of the baby inside of her, a hand gently rested on her shoulder. She turned to see the smiling face of her Damian. He was holding a small, wrapped box and a single red rose.

“You’re so beautiful,” he said with a wink. “I have a little surprise for you.”

Kitty’s eyes widened. “What is it?”

“Open it and see,” he replied, handing her the box.

Carefully, Kitty unwrapped the box and lifted the lid. Inside was a beautiful necklace with a delicate pendant of a mother holding her child. Tears welled up in her eyes as she looked at it in awe.

“It’s so pretty,” she whispered, feeling overwhelmed with emotion.

Damian gently took the necklace from the box and secured it around her neck. Kitty leaned into Damian and embraced him tightly, feeling a sense of comfort and security in his arms.

He really loved her, she thought, while touching the necklace. And together they were going to love this baby too.

FIFTYBILLIE ANN

“What do you want?”

The words were harsh and almost spat at me. The woman in front of me in the doorway, with her piercing blue eyes and sharp jawline, looked like she meant business. I took a deep breath and tried to steady myself before answering. Seeing her again filled me with anxiety, and my hands began to shake.

“You can’t be here, go away,” she added, shooing at me with her hand, like I was a stray cat.

“Betty,” I said with a deep exhale. “I need to talk to him. It’s important.”