“You know how. Just like last time.”
“Just like last time?” she repeated, feeling confused. All she could think about was Oliver. Her baby. Why couldn’t they just let her see him? And hold him? Why was he talking about another baby, about her becoming a mother again? She was already a mother.
“I don’t understand?”
He shushed her, then leaned forward and placed a hand over her mouth to stop her from talking. Then he whispered.
“I think you do.”
SIXTY-TWOBILLIE ANN
I could feel my heart pounding in my chest as I drove to Peyton’s house. She and Charlene had known each other for many years, and she lived only two streets down. Peyton’s mom was one of those who had given up on her teenage daughter years ago, and often left her alone in the house, where anything could—and would—happen.
I wasn’t going to let Charlene stay there for one minute longer. I knew I was about to humiliate her, but this was needed. She was grounded and supposed to be at home. She had put this on herself.
And I was angry. Not just because it was disrespectful, but also because Charlene knew how important my job was. How important my time was. Right now I should be out finding Emma or Marissa, and not looking for my own daughter.
When I arrived, I could feel the dread rising in my throat. There was a gathering of teenagers outside, some vaping or smoking, some laughing. Music blared from inside, the bass shaking the walls. I went up to the door and knocked, hard, but it wasn’t locked and slid open as I put my fist against it.
At first glance, I spotted Charlene, slumped against the wall. I hurried to her, and she barely noticed me. Then our eyes met, and my heart sank. She was glassy-eyed, and I felt a wave of anger and disappointment wash over me. I grabbed her arm and yanked her from the house.
“Mo-o-m! What are you doing?”
“You’re high, Charlene. What do you think you’re doing? You didn’t think I would find out you were gone and come for you?”
“I don’t care, Mom. You can’t just come here and… and… look they’re all laughing at me.”
“I don’t care, Charlene. This is not okay.”
She pulled her arm out of my grip. “So what?”
“So, we’re going home now.”
“No, we’re not.”
“Oh, yes, we are.”
I reached out my hand to grab her, but she pulled back. “If you touch me, I’ll scream. I’ll tell everyone that you’re a kidnapper. Or even worse that you’re… a lesbian.”
Is she for real? Where is my little girl?
“Charlene, you need to come with me right now.”
She shook her head. There were people everywhere, standing in groups and staring at us, and the last thing I wanted was for them to call the police. Technically I was the police, but I didn’t want these kids to get in trouble. And they would be once the police came here. Including Charlene.
We stood out on the lawn, the smell of marijuana and sweat heavy in the air. We glared at each other, neither of us wanting to give in. I wanted to yell, to scold her for her recklessness, but I bit my tongue. At least I tried to. Yet I couldn’t help myself and some of my rage escaped anyway.
“How could you be so careless?” I seethed, my hands trembling.
She dropped her gaze and sighed softly.
“Just let me go.”
Her voice was quiet but determined. I shook my head vigorously. “No way. You’re my daughter and we’re going home now.”
We silently stood on the lawn, our bodies almost touching. I opened my mouth to scream at her but quickly snapped it shut. She narrowed her eyes as if daring me to say something, but I refused to give in. Instead, all that escaped my throat was an exasperated groan.
We fiercely locked eyes, neither of us ready to back down. I wanted to shout, to chastise her for her thoughtless actions and disrespect, but she had hit me where it hurt. I knew deep down that this was all my fault. Joe was right, she was acting out because of me. How could I punish her for that?
“Let’s get you home,” I said, guiding her toward the car. Charlene stumbled as I pulled her arm, her body swaying with each step. I knew she was going to be a handful, but I was determined to get her home no matter what. As we made our way to the car, I could hear the snickers from the teenagers behind us. I ignored them, but secretly wondered if they heard her remark about me being a lesbian. I knew most parents around here and that rumor could spread faster than I felt comfortable with.
Once we were inside, I breathed a sigh of relief. Charlene slumped into the passenger seat, her head lolling to the side. I took a deep breath and turned on the ignition, making sure to keep my movements slow and steady.
As we pulled out of the driveway, I could feel Charlene’s eyes on me. Her gaze was heavy, and I knew what she was thinking. She was angry, furious even, that I had ruined her fun. I didn’t care. I was her mother, and it was my job to protect her.
We drove in silence for a few minutes until Charlene finally spoke up. “You’re ruining my life, Mom,” she slurred, her words barely coherent. “I hate you.”
Ouch, that hurt.
I took a deep breath before responding. “You don’t mean that, Charlene. I love you, and I’m just trying to keep you safe.”
Charlene scoffed. “Safe from what? Having fun? You’re so boring,” she spat, her words sharp like knives. “But I guess all lesbians are like that. Boring.”
I remained calm, refusing to let her words get to me. “Fun shouldn’t involve breaking the rules and putting yourself in danger,” I said firmly.
Charlene rolled her eyes, sinking deeper into her seat. “Whatever, Mom. You just don’t understand.”
As we pulled into our driveway, I turned off the car and let out a sigh. I faced Charlene and took her hand in mine. “Listen, sweetie. I know what’s happening right now is a lot to take in, but I need you to not—”
