I rub my chest, the familiar constriction making it hard to breathe. Whenever I fail to reunite families, I get awful pains right around my heart.
Sakura thinks I need to see a doctor, but I know it’s just an expression of the agony I’m feeling at not succeeding.
Even though I was young, I know what it’s like to have no memories of my ata—but at least we met and I grew up having both my parents.
“Do you see your Mulen family?”
“Only about once a year. Although I care for them deeply, the Mulen clan that took me in only did so because they knew I could help with hunting and gathering. It wasn’t out of love, per se.”
I scowl. “Who doesn’t love a child?!”
Ilian reaches forward to cup my face in his clawed hand. “You are much too kind, my mate.”
My lips twist even more, but the tightness in my chest loosens. I’m fairly certain it’s because he’s touching me, and I try to tamp back the nervous butterflies at the thought.
Stop getting attached!
“You’re stressing about something,” Ilian hints without remorse.
“No, I’m not.”
“Little liar, tell me what’s wrong.”
I shake my head. It’s bad enough he can sense everything I’m feeling. He doesn’t need to know what I’m thinking, too.
The giant Ithaqua sighs. “Ok, you asked for it.”
In a flash, I’m in his lap as he tickles me through the layers of fabric I’m dressed in to stave off the harsh cold that seeps in through the window.
My shrieks of laughter echo around us, and I hope these cabins are marginally sound-proof, or else someone is going to complain.
“Are you going to tell me?”
“You can’t do this!”
“Obviously, I can,” he smirks like the very devil he is.
“It’s not fair! You’re bigger than me! I can’t retaliate!”
Ilian chuckles. “Trust me, soyam, you have all the power.”
His words don’t make any sense, but I can barely think as he runs his hands up and down my sides, his claws digging in gently enough to not hurt me, but hard enough to make me laugh.
“You win!” My voice is a breathless whisper, but Ilian stops.
“Go on.”
He settles me in his lap, and suddenly, the cabin is far too hot. I peel off a sweater while trying not to think about all the naughty things this man can do with his tongue.
And cock.
The Ithaqua groans. “You’re going to be the death of me, I swear.”
“What—why? What did I do?”
Ilian eyes me critically. “Never mind. What were you worrying about earlier?”
Ugh, he doesn’t miss anything.
“I guess I’m just anxious about finding Aisyth—what if we don’t?”
“We will. I promise.”
Through our bond, I sense the guarantee of his vow as well as his hurt. He might hate himself for creating this bond, but he also wants it, too.
And I don’t know what to do with that because I can barely figure out my own emotions.
A week ago, the thought of being in a committed relationship with someone would’ve caused heart palpitations, so theoretically, a mating bond should kill me—except, I’ve never felt more alive.
“You’re upset again.”
“More…confused. I don’t know how to feel, and that’s overwhelming in itself.”
“I understand. Again, I’m so sorry for dragging you into this mess.”
“Please stop apologizing! I promise, it’s ok. As you said, we’ll figure it out. Hopefully soon. I do want to go back home, and I’m sure you have clients.”
“Ironically, I already planned on taking the next two weeks off. I sometimes go and visit the Mulens this time of year and bring them things. The young ones love human gadgets.
