The Ithaquan god sighs, as if genuinely put out that I won’t do such a ridiculous thing. “Very well.”
I shriek when he grabs a handful of the ink black pelt and yanks it free. He presents it to me like it’s the most valuable treasure in the world—and considering what Ilian and I need done, it might be.
“Th-thank you,” I croak, still unsettled.
“Sure thing.” Ulyen scratches between his horns, glancing between Ilian and me. “Did you two wanna have an orgy?”
Ilian snarls, the violent intent returning through our link, and I rush to decline. “No, no! We’re good, thanks.”
Ulyen shrugs. “Your loss. I’m just going to take this—”
He leans down to pick up the strap-on Ilian made from his horn. The dark-furred Ithaquan lifts it to his skull and sniffs before sighing.
“Mmm, I’m going to see if a Verdilak wants to watch me fuck myself with this. Good luck, you two.”
With this, Ulyen saunters off into the darkness, disappearing altogether. There’s a beat of silence between Ilian and me as I try to figure out what the heck just happened.
“That man needs serious help.”
Ilian snorts. “That’s an understatement.”
He appears a little frazzled, and I walk over to give my mate a hug. “You ok?”
“Not really. The mental images of Ulyen fucking his ass with my horn—that was in my ass and yours—might make me sick.”
“They’re definitely making me sick. I think I would rather get back on a boat than envision that.”
My Ithaqua chuckles. “Aisyth won’t come until the morning. Let’s get some rest while we can.”
Ilian beds down a bit away from where we summoned Ulyen. We don’t have anything to sleep on but the ground, but thanks to Aisyth, it’s not cold.
It even feels like there’s a bit of cushion, and I point this out to Ilian.
“At least one of the Ithaquan gods isn’t a disgusting tool.”
He snorts. “I told you, all gods are devious. Give it enough time. Aisyth will show her true colors. She’s just as twisted as Ulyen.”
“Do you think that’s why she sanctioned your imprint in my ink?”
Ilian falls silent, adjusting me in the crook of his arm so that I’m plastered to his side, his fur like a soft gray blanket of security.
“I don’t know why she did it. I think it was a mistake, but goddesses don’t admit to those. The fact that she’s even considering dissolving our bond proves it to me.”
“Oh.”
Even the Ithaquan goddess thinks it’s a mistake—how do I even rationalize my feelings for this man when everything in the universe seems to be pointing away from him?
All my life I’ve avoided love for fear of being hurt, and then I go and fall for the least suitable person on the face of the Earth.
We can’t be together legally, and I can’t seem to wrap my head around the fact that maybe any of what Ilian and I are feeling is real.
As actively as I avoid men, deep down, I want someone to hold me—like Ilian does—and care for me—like Ilian does.
For one second, I wish I could turn off our bond and really assess my emotions. Then again, I might be scared at what I find.
There’s an emptiness inside of me, made more hollow with the loss of my parents. Men have never appealed to me as a filler for this hole.
But Ilian is different.
At first, I was obsessed with his art, his talent, his passion. Later, it became about him as a man as he starred in all my fantasies, but when I met the Ithaqua, everything changed.
Before he even imprinted on me, I felt a tug in the center of my chest, as if there was already an invisible cord connecting us.
Something as silly as fate isn’t real, but when I met Ilian’s bright pink gaze for the first time, I had a sense of destiny.
Maybe we both felt the pull—but how and why? Did Aisyth already plan to throw the two of us together?
If so, then can one really believe in true love, or is everything out of our hands, left to the whims of some very questionable gods?
My temple throbs with my incessant overthinking. Like a vicious circle, my logic keeps going round and round.
It comes back to the same question of what’s real and what’s not—are we all but pawns to the gods I didn’t even know existed, but if that’s true, then is there even any point in fighting fate?
I can’t help but wonder if by breaking this bond and erasing Ilian’s ink, I’m also erasing the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me.
As I drift off to sleep, I’m torn between my desperate need to be loved and my even more desperate need to run, hoping someone—anyone—will give me a sign.
My eyes start to close as something streaks across the sky, gone before I can blink, and I realize it’s a shooting star.
