This announcement sets me off-kilter. I came to apologize and express how I feel about my mate, but I didn’t expect Zhuliya to say that.
“You summoned her?”
“My memories did.”
I close my eyes, my chest tightening. “I’m so very sorry. Only the most powerful of memories call to Ekana—but only the saddest make her cry. It’s why I wanted to save her for last.”
Zhuliya hums. “She was very kind. She helped me understand something I’ve been struggling with.”
“And what’s that?”
“It’s hard for me to reconcile my emotions with our bond—what is real and what’s not—but she pointed out that I already knew the answer, and that fate isn’t the driver of my life.
Rather, it’s the directions on the road to my destiny. I can choose to follow them or ignore them, but only to my detriment.”
A laugh wells up inside of me. “That does sound like something Ekana would say. She’s revered among the Ithaqua for her wisdom. I suppose you’ve made your decision.”
I indicate to the vial in her hand with Ekana’s tear. Zhuliya gives me a soft smile, and I second guess everything I planned to say to her.
What does it matter when she’s already decided to remove my ink?
“Shall we call Aisyth, then?”
“No, not until we talk first.”
“What is there to say? The sooner we remove our bond, the sooner you can be free.”
“And is this what you want?”
“I want what you want.”
“Ilian! Please, just answer me plainly. Do you want to dissolve this bond, regardless of what you think I want?”
Staring into her dark brown eyes, I click my claws together, knowing I have the choice to be honest or not.
“No.”
Zhuliya steps closer, so that her breasts rub against my stomach, and I stifle a groan at the sweet, torturous contact.
“Why?”
“Because I love you, soyam.”
Her breath catches. “How do you know you love me?”
I chuckle. “Because I need you more than I need air. You’re constantly in my thoughts, and your happiness is the only thing I want—even if it makes me miserable.”
“Is that why you’re working so hard to erase our bond, because you think I’m miserable?”
“Aren’t you, soyam?”
“Miserable? No. Confused, very. I struggle to sift through what’s the bond and what’s me.”
“Which never would’ve happened if not for me—I imprinted on you.”
“Actually, according to Ekana, it wasn’t you. That’s the part of our fate that’s out of both our hands. Destiny will always keep conspiring to get us together.
Imprinting upon me via your ink was simply the quickest, strongest way because to remove it would take an astronomical feat on both our parts.
As Ekana said, we can’t escape fate, but we can choose how we receive it. This entire time, we’ve been fighting it…and I’m sick of struggling against the current.”
“What current?”
“Sorry, it’s part of the metaphor your goddess gave me—that life’s like a river.”
“Right, so are we fish in this scenario?”
“Um, I would rather be a mermaid.”
“Have you met one? They’re mean.”
Zhuliya giggles. “Ilian! Ugh, why is this so difficult? Listen, I’m afraid to love you—afraid of love. It’s been so much easier to keep to myself and help others, but I’m lonely.
No matter how much I fight against it, I want someone to see me as something special, like how my ata felt about my ima.
In a world that didn’t accept them, they found each other. Both sacrificed the love of their family for something unknown and new.
It worked out for them, but everything seemed like an uphill battle for my parents as they fled Russia to a country that knew nothing of their customs and culture.”
