Copyright © 2023 by Victoria Liiv

Cover design by Covers by Jules

Edited by Ashley Olivier

Art by Ian Bristow

This novel is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

All rights reserved.

This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

Warning: Do dwell into this world at your own risk. The author will not refund your tissue papers nor be responsible for any heartache caused by character reactions. Tears were shed in the making of this book, and tears shall be shed long afterwards. Please add your doctor to speed dial incase of a heart attack risk, and your therapist for grief counselling.

There will be a happy ending. Just wait for it.

To everyone who has thought they are lost.

You're not. I've found you.

Author’s Note

You’ll notice that I’m writing in British English and hopefully not be completely bothered by it. It’s what my language teacher drilled into me the moment I started school. I didn’t always understand her to the fullest, certainly not the time when she looked straight at me from in front of the class room and asked, “Victoria, what cala is this?” I stared at her then in complete silence as she pointed at something on the whiteboard and repeated herself. “What cala is this?” Looking at my classmates was no help whatsoever, because nobody understood the question. Finally, with great difficulty, it dawned on me that she’d said ‘colour’. From this day forward I write like a Brit, but talk like an American—or at least attempt to.

I love making book playlists. I had tons of help with this one from one of my beta readers, Brent. So many great new artists I hadn’t heard about before! Theme song for the book? Wolf or Lamb by League of Distortion.

Here’s the whole playlist.

If you understand that I feel the same

Come closer and we can heal the pain

Your love has left me unhinged, insane

I'll never win in this endless game.

Chapter 1

ISAY

I DIDN’T FIT IN. THE WHOLE VENUE FILLED WITH DARK THREATENING shapes eager to get at me. I knew they were, even as my mother reassured me they wouldn’t touch me.

During the ceremony everyone’s attention had been on her and Grath, tension high in the air as she tied her life force to their king. I swear, the whole audience let out a uniform breath when the ritual was complete and there was no way back. Not that my mother wanted a way out, she was perfectly happy here, among the fae of death and the love of her life. I, on the other hand, did not belong here.

Wearing red, the only bright colour in the room as all the fae were dark as death themselves and my mother a pure white light, their salvation, I stood out like a beacon of interest to anyone with eyes. Hungry stares followed me, mouths salivating. Even as my mother’s dedication to Grath ensured they would never go hungry again, I knew they all wanted a taste of my life force, for death faeries feasted on creatures such as myself.

I’d seen death fae before, but never so many in one place. And even as Mom started her relationship with Grath a year ago, I’d always been wary of them, always kept my distance. This venue was big, but it was not big enough to avoid every single one of them.

I raked my eyes over the crowd to find a safe place to sit and wait for the evening to end. It had to end eventually, right? Weddings weren’t endless affairs, as even death had to sleep. And I was sure the happy couple wanted to do more than sleep tonight after the festivities.

Right in the middle of the open air venue was the table for my mother, her husband, and the king’s closest council. From my mother’s side there was nobody else attending except for me. We were disowned by our own court the moment she announced her decision to marry the King of Death fairies. Besides, it wasn’t safe for them to get this close to death fae. Again, me being the exception. I was under the protection of the king even before he married my mother. Taking my life force was a death sentence to the one who tried. Did I trust the fae to stay away even after I had their king’s word on it? Hell no.

Two tables away, edged at the dance floor that no one took advantage of just yet, sat my new stepbrother and his troop of warriors. With his hair black as night cropped short, the sharp tipped ears were clearly visible. His jaw was almost as sharp as his ears, similarly to his father, but unlike his father, he didn’t have a beard. Not even a stubble. His grey eyed stare? Also sharp. Everything about him screamed ‘danger, run!’ Did I heed to the clear warning. No, that would have meant I had any sense in me. Not even the fact that his warriors were  just as intimidating stopped me in my tracks.

I didn’t know anyone else in the room. I’d seen them around a couple of times, though, and survived the encounters. Sitting with the prince might keep any unwanted attention away, which was the only reason I walked straight to their table. All the chairs were taken, and I likely looked more confident than I felt when I pulled a free chair from under a neighbouring table and dragged it next to prince Hiko’s before I sat down like there was no place else I’d rather be.

Five sets of eyes burned through me the moment my butt touched the wood, and my heart practically jumped right out of my chest. Nobody really stared at you the way a hungry death fae did. Like you were water in the desert. Like you were air itself, pure, intoxicating oxygen.

Out of all the warriors trailing the prince, Karmuth’s stare pierced the most. His intense blue eyes weren’t the only thing making him stand out in the group. In a court of black haired fae, his umber hair stood out as much as my red dress did. Nobody else found it startling  to see a death fairy so unlike the rest of them. He was a death fairy, though, of that I was certain. He didn’t only look at me as if I was a potential sustenance to his thirst craved-existence. His stare promised he’d enjoy every second of drinking me dry, then live on happily ever after. It also made my heart race. Out of fear, I told myself. It had to be out of fear.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Prince Hiko’s gravelly voice pulled me out of the deep blue pool of Karmuth’s eyes, and I almost jumped, realising I was still sitting at their table.

I hadn’t thought farther than this, but showing weakness was never a good idea around predators.

“Here for the company.” I shrugged, pulling an untouched glass of champagne over and taking a sip. It burned down my throat like lava. I coughed at the unexpected flavour, attempting to play it cool but failing miserably. Most definitely not champagne.

One of the warriors laughed, and Karmuth’s lips twitched, as if he found me interesting enough to play with before feasting on me.

My dear stepbrother narrowed his eyes at me. “We’re not interested in babysitting. Scatter off, Princess.”

Princess sounded like a first-degree insult on his lips. I didn’t care for the distaste in his face, either. I didn’t decide to call myself that. Didn’t ask for it, either. It wasn’t my fault we were stuck together in this endless party.

“You most certainly do not need to babysit me,” I spat. “Besides, I wasn’t even talking about your company. There are other people around this table.”

The moment those words left my mouth, I wished I could take them back. I’d insulted the prince whilst insinuating interest in one or more of his warriors. I wasn’t interested in the slightest. They could put their dark, muscled asses where the sun doesn’t shine. I bet they already did.

I took another sip of the putrid liquid in my glass that tasted even less like champagne and more like pure fire, making a face. “Why don’t you introduce me to your friends, brother?”

I tried to say ‘brother’ the way he’d said ‘princess’, but my voice didn’t go to such lengths and sang it out like it was the prettiest word ever invented. Hiko scowled either way. Calling him my brother was likely the worst insult he could imagine. Wouldn’t want to be a brother to the likes of me, now would he? Too bad you couldn’t choose your family. I didn’t have a choice in the matter either. Was I bitter about it? Sure. Did I blame him for it? Not in the slightest. It wasn’t up to us that our parents had decided to tie the knot. Not up to me Mother turned to the dark side, and not up to Hiko that his new stepsister smelled like a bright summer day, suffocating the death out of him.

“You’ve met them before,” Hiko replied curtly. His disinterest ran deep into his cold, hard heart.

I tutted, “Pretend like I wasn’t paying attention earlier. Better yet, pretend I’ve got no memory of our previous encounter. I’d like to think you stepped out of the bed on the wrong side last time I saw you and you’re not always an idiot.”

Shit. Take it back. Can I take it back? No, not really. Just brilliant. That wasn’t what I had in mind pretending to be confident. Most definitely not.

Laughter filled the table, but it wasn’t Hiko who was amused by my boldness.

“Regar,” a big man to the left of Karmuth said, holding out a hand as if to shake mine. I stared at the gesture like he was handing me a poisonous snake and expecting me to grab onto it. Not happening.

“See, I did not remember that.” I ignored Regar’s outstretched hand. He raised his eyebrow in challenge nonetheless, thinking I was stupid enough to fall for it. Eventually, it was Karmuth who shoved his hand away, and it fell on the lacy tablecloth.

“That’s Kar.” Regar pointed at Karmuth, the only one whose name I did remember, despite not caring to and not because I was dumbstruck the first time I saw him. Karmuth responded with what I now now assumed to be his signature stare but let Regar continue with the introductions. “Sinister and Ferro.”

“Seriously?” I stared at the two other fae, one who was sitting closer to me than I now felt comfortable with. “I feel like I should’ve remembered those.”