I felt the warmth in my heart. It felt like my own burning sun, tasted like Isay. Sunshine, without flowers. It wasn’t from her, however. It hadn’t come through the mate bond. I wasn’t certain that an energy that magnificent could travel through the mate bond.
No, this had been locked up within me from the very start. It was part of my heritage. Somewhere in my lineage, there had been a life fae.
I turned to Regar in a daze. “I think I just drew from his life.”
“His ecos, yes. But you weren’t even touching him.”
“No, Regar,” I said slowly. “I drew from his life. Like… Like Isay drew from the delthers.”
If Isay was able to draw from life, did that mean that she had a life fae in her blood-line, too? She admitted to not knowing her father. Could it be that her father had been a life fae?
It wasn’t common for them to mate outside their own court. It was more infrequent than cross-matings between any other courts, in fact. Their numbers were low, and they couldn’t afford to mix blood. When productivity was tough for death fae, life fae struggled even more.
They went through life collecting ecos. For centuries the energy would collect within them until it was ready to give life, too.
If a fae did not meet a fertile mate when their energy was at the fullest, it would simply explode back to the environment. If a fae mated with an incompatible female, the energy would explode back to the environment. If one of the fae was full while the other was low on energy, it would also explode back to the environment. Within centuries, only two known Hessian births were recorded.
“You what?” Regar asked, dumbstruck.
“I drew from his life,” I repeated for the second time, more certain now. Like Isay had done. Exactly like Isay had done. What did it mean about our heritage?
Chapter 35
ISAY
I TAKE IT BACK. I TAKE IT ALL BACK. I WAS HURTING ALL RIGHT. Mostly my wrists, and even though I’d attempted to get back on my feet to loosen the pressure, I’d only discovered a dislocated ankle that had my vision black out with its intensity when I’d tried to put my weight on it.
My head swam. I floated somewhere between consciousness and passed-out when Karmuth’s mother entered my cell again. This time carrying a platter of food.
Her eyes were puffy as if she’d been crying. She tried to hide it behind her bangs, but it was the first thing I noticed when she carried the food closer to me. I searched her blue eyes for the light I’d seen in Karmuth’s. They appeared dimmer this time around, even as she raised a fork to my lips.
My stomach growled, and I didn’t fight the urge to open my mouth for long. She had no reason to poison me, as I was already under their control.
After I’d taken the bite and chewed, Karmuth’s mother finally spoke up. “If Terwyl finds me here, we’ll both be dead.”
Lovely.
I swallowed. “Then why did you come back?”
“You knew my son,” she said quietly. “I felt his presence in you. What happened to him?”
“What do you mean?” I asked before she pushed another mouthful in to silence me. Not a brilliant way to gather intel if I had to chew through meat before I could speak.
Her eyes narrowed. “You have his ecos within you, which means he’s dead. Why would you take his life?”
She thought he was dead, which was ridiculous since I’d clearly said he would come for me. She’d likely not listened after she’d discovered his life force in me.
I emptied my mouth as fast as I could to protest her assumptions. “Karmuth’s not dead. He’s perfectly fine, and he’ll find me.”
She was sceptical. Holding the food away from me, she studied my expression. I wasn’t lying. “How do you explain his ecos in you, then?”
A blush creeped on my cheeks. I hadn’t known that even imprisoned, tortured, and suspended from chains I could feel embarrassed. “We… ah… had an exchange.”
The woman’s face turned ashen as if that was worse than death. “You and my son—?” she asked sternly
She wasn’t sceptical any longer. No, definitely not. She was horrified. Well, boohoo, I could exchange with whomever I pleased. I could sleep with anyone I wanted to. I could love…
Did I? Did I love Karmuth? The heat on my cheeks intensified as my heart jumped at the thought that made me nervous and excited all at the same time. I definitely wanted him. After what we’d done last night—it was still last night, wasn’t it?—I wanted his skin against mine again.
But it went deeper than just physical need. I wanted his arms around me, yes. His lips on mine and that tongue that won over every inch of my skin. I also wanted to hear his voice, keep him talking, learn anything there was to know about him.
We could have a future together. My mother could love a death fae, so why couldn’t I? I could. I totally could. I was in love with him.
I didn’t appreciate his mother’s distaste. Who was she to decide for Karmuth, whom she hadn’t bothered to get to know? Who was she to judge me for loving him when she clearly couldn’t?
“What?” I barked. “Is it so unacceptable for life and death to be adjoined?”
A forceful forkful of meat shut me up as the woman fumed in silence. Back to chewing, I couldn’t express my feelings on the topic.
“Are you mated to him, then?” she asked in a strained voice.
There were a few certain ways to create a mating bond, a ritual being the safest bet. My mother and Grath had done the ritual since fae from different courts rarely established a bond through natural means. The ritual raised the chances for the bond to hold. Me and Karmuth? Definitely not mated. We hadn’t done any rituals and while we did have sex and I was beginning to have strong feelings for him, that wouldn’t be enough for two fae not of the same court. If mating bonds were so easily formed, he’d already been tied to Sela before I even arrived in Vindica. The thought got my blood boiling even more. Karmuth was mine, nobody else could have him. Certainly not Sela.
I was unwilling to admit the truth, so I challenged her instead. “What if we are mated?”
“A Hessian born of naturel carrying a darkness in her heart mated to a Vindican born of an emotion-feeder, descendant of a Hessian—the very same Hessian, because it can’t be anyone else—is something to be worried about, don’t you think?”
My mouth fell open, and I couldn’t close it up around the next forkful of food she hovered in front of my face.
