“I’d rather just drive my car home now, if you don’t mind.” Larissa tucked her hair behind her ear and avoided his direct gaze. “But thanks again, Gabe. For everything.”
He didn’t want to let her go, but he couldn’t very well force her to allow him to stay, either. He frowned as she walked to the parking lot alone.
Why was she was pushing him away?
Maybe after everything that had happened, she needed some time alone. So he’d give her a few hours to sleep and to recharge.
Then he was going to make his feelings known by asking her out on a proper date. And he could only hope and pray she wouldn’t say no.
____________
Larissa dragged herself out of bed after five hours of sleep, determined to get back on a regular schedule since she had day shifts scheduled after her day off. Her ankle was a little sore, so running was out of the question.
A boat ride would have been great, but she quickly veered away from thoughts of Gabe. She was still struggling with everything that had happened with Kurt. The way he’d accused and threatened her brought back terrible memories of life with George.
She hadn’t told anyone about the abuse her mother had suffered. Larissa hadn’t mentioned the time George had broken her arm, either, since that one injury had been nothing compared to everything George had put her mother through.
She’d prayed for the strength to forgive George, but seeing Kurt in the trauma bay made her realize she really hadn’t forgiven George. Or Kurt. Or Rolland, who hadn’t hurt her physically but who’d tried to control her just the same.
And she needed to forgive all of them.
Or she’d never be able to move on from her past.
When her buzzer went off, she dragged herself over to the intercom. “Yes?”
“Larissa? It’s Gabe. Can I come up?”
She hesitated but then acquiesced. “Sure.”
The apartment wasn’t too messy, and she smoothed her hair back, wishing she’d put on a touch of make-up. When Gabe knocked at her door, she took a deep breath and opened it.
“Hi.” Did he look nervous or was she just imagining it? “I wasn’t sure if you’d be up yet.”
“I like to try and get back on a day schedule if I can.” She closed the door and followed him into the living room. “Can I get you a soft drink?”
“No, thanks.” Yep, he definitely looked nervous. “Larissa, would you go out to dinner with me tonight?”
His abrupt question caught her by surprise. “What made you change your mind about dating colleagues?” she asked.
Gabe nodded. “You’re right, you deserve an explanation.” He paused for a minute. “I dated Rebecca, one of the nurses I worked with in Madison. I quickly figured out that we didn’t have anything in common; in fact, she made it clear the best thing she liked about me was my title.”
“Your title?” She frowned, not quite following.
“Doctor.” He lifted a shoulder in a half-hearted shrug. “You must know the type, the ones who only want to marry a doctor because they think we rake in the big bucks. Rebecca didn’t even like being a nurse; she complained about it all the time. I broke things off, and that’s when everything turned ugly.”
“Oh, Gabe,” she murmured. Unfortunately, she did know there were nurses out there who were only interested in marrying a doctor.
“She alleged I sexually harassed her, that I made unwanted advances toward her. There was a huge investigation, and I thought for sure I’d be vindicated, but a few of her friends lied for her, and pretty soon it was her word against mine. So I left and came here, to Hope County Hospital.”
“I don’t blame you for keeping your distance,” she assured him. “That’s a terrible thing for her to do to you.”
“Thanks, but I think I’ve had it easy compared to others.” Gabe held out his hand, and she couldn’t resist taking it and moving closer to him. “I understand now that the reason you related so well to Annie is because you went through something similar, didn’t you?”
She shouldn’t have been surprised that he’d figured it out. “My mother was married to an abusive man,” she admitted in a low voice. “I saw the vicious cycle first-hand, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t seem to stop it.”
His hand tightened on hers, and when she met his gaze, his concern was obvious. “How did you escape?”
“My mother only cared about the abuse when George started hitting me. The night he broke my arm, she took me to the hospital, and from there, we went to a women’s shelter.”
Gabe groaned and pulled her close, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. “I’m sorry you had to go through that again last night. Thankfully, God was watching over you. Over both of us.”
Her eyes pricked with tears. He was being too nice; she didn’t deserve his kindness. Here she’d convinced Gabe to go to church, and she was the one who was at a crossroad in her faith. “I can’t seem to find a way to forgive him,” she whispered. “I thought I had, but last night after Kurt was shot, I immediately thought he deserved to die.”
“A perfectly natural reaction,” Gabe pointed out. He leaned back, put his finger beneath her chin, and forced her to meet his gaze. “I thought the same thing.”
“But Gabe, don’t you see? God expects us to forgive our enemies.”
“Yes, He does.” Gabe’s gaze was intense. “But He also promises to help us learn how to forgive our enemies. He doesn’t necessarily make us figure it out on our own.”
She wanted to believe him, but really, there was no way of knowing if she’d ever be able to forgive George for what he did to her mother, or forgive Kurt for what he did to Annie. And how could she find peace and love if she didn’t?
“Larissa, I’m falling in love with you.”
Gabe’s declaration stole her breath, and she instinctively shook her head. “I don’t know that I’m ready for that.”
“I’ll give you all the time you need, as long as you give me a chance. Don’t shut me out, Larissa.”
She pulled away and rose to her feet, threading her fingers through her hair. “I’ll try, but I can’t make any promises,” she said finally.
