Come back.”
Tears fell and splashed on her face.
Katerina had been wrapped in a silver mist for the longest time. She burrowed into it like a comforting blanket and hid. If she emerged from the shadows, something so horrible, so excruciating awaited her that she would die in agony.
Better just to let go slowly. Nothing hurts here, in the mist, in the darkness.
Hunger didn't bite at her and pain didn't assault her. She was numb and content
to remain so until numbness dissolved into death. Yes. That's the way to go. Just slowly release life. Release. It was easy to die. Simple. She was vaguely aware of people talking around her, trying to encourage her to engage, but she could ignore them as easily as a housefly buzzing against a windowpane. What does their struggle have to do with me? Nothing.
Something wet hit her cheek. She had been bathed enough times and could
ignore it, but this was not bathing. Another drop splashed on her skin. It's like warm rain. What is this? Curiosity awakened within the mist. She wanted to know what was happening. The darkness would still be there if she roused herself for a second, just to understand. Another drop. Another rained on her.
She struggled to engage, to move up through the numbness back into her
body and into awareness. There are arms holding me. I know these arms, but how? They mean something. They've held me before, and it was always good.
She emerged more fully into reality and saw the face. Handsome, chiseled
face, scruffy, unshaven, eyes tightly shut, tears dripping from beneath the lids onto her.
He was crying. Crying on her. The hot rain of his tears fell, streaking across
her skin and burning her. They forced her to increasing awareness. I know this man, know his body, his heart and soul
The darkness beckoned, receding. If she wanted to withdraw with it, she
needed to do it now, because life was taking hold of her again. She could feel it.
It would hurt. She didn't want to hurt. She wanted peace.
But why is he crying? What made this beautiful man so sad?
She retreated, or she tried, but his voice tempted her back as he sobbed one
word over and over. “Katerina, Katerina.”
That's my name. Is he crying over me?
Despite her desire for oblivion, she couldn't leave him in such pain. She tried
to think of a word that would help. What is it?
“Christopher?” her voice sounded rusty and harsh. The darkness retreated
further. She tried to hold onto it, but it slipped away from her.
Silver eyes opened and seemed to spear into her soul, snaring her and
anchoring her to reality. “Kat?”
She had to choose. The darkness would soon be gone, leaving her stranded
here where everything hurt. But here also was Christopher, hurting and crying.
How can I leave him in such pain?
The beautiful face drew close to her. Soft full lips touched hers, and that touch was pure light, obliterating the last of the darkness.
She flared to life again, at last fully present.
He crushed her to him, sobbing in relief.
She cuddled in his arms, liking the connection to this man. My hero. My husband. The father of my child.
At last, she remembered the terror that stalked her. “Chris…” Her breath
caught as agonized horror broke over her.
“Yes, love?” Pure tenderness warmed his tone.
“The baby. Did the baby survive? No, it's not possible. I'm so sorry. I tried to
stay awake and protect the baby, but Father hit me so hard. I couldn't, I—”
“No,” Christopher protested, interrupting her. “The baby is fine.”
