"Do you remember sneaking over here the night you first told me about this place?"
He nodded, and she went on:
"I got home a little late that evening, and my parents were furious when I finallycame in. I can still picture my daddy standing in the living room smoking a cigarette,my mother on the sofa staring straight ahead. I swear, they looked as if a familymember had died. That was the first time my parents knew I was serious about you,and my mother had a long talk with me later that night. She said to me, 'I'm sureyou think that I don't understand what you're going through, but I do. It's just thatsometimes, our future is dictated by what we are, as opposed to what we want.' Iremember being really hurt when she said that."
"You told me about it the next day. It hurt my feelings, too. I liked your parents, andI had no idea they didn't like me."
"It wasn't that they didn't like you. They didn't think you deserved me."
"There's not much difference."
There was a sadness in his voice when he responded, and she knew he'was right tofeel that way. She looked toward the stars while she ran her hand through her hair,pulling back the strands that had fallen onto her face.
"I know that. I always did. Maybe that's why my mother and I always seem to have adistance between us when we talk."
"How do you feel about it now?"
"The same as I did back then. That it's wrong,that it isn't fair. It was a terrible thingfor a girl to learn. That status is more important than feelings.'' Noahsmiled softly at her answer but said nothing.
"I've thought about you ever since that summer,'' she said.
"You have?"
"Why wouldn't you think so?" She seemed genuinely surprised.
"You never answered my letters."
"You wrote ?"
"Dozens of letters. I wrote you for two years without receiving a single reply." Sheslowly shook her head before lowering her eyes.
"I didn't know... ," she finally said, quietly, and he knew it must have been her mother,checking the mail, removing the letters without her knowledge. It was what he hadalways suspected, and he watched as Allie came to the same realization.
"It was wrong of her to do that, Noah, and I'm sorry she did. But try to understand.
Once I left, she probably thought it would be easier for me to just let it go.
She never understood how much you meant to me, and to be honest, I don't evenknow if she ever loved my father the way I loved you. In her mind, she was just tryingto protect my feelings, and she probably thought the best way to do that was to hidethe letters you sent."
"That wasn't her decision to make," he said quietly.
"I know."
"Would it have made a difference even if you'd got them?"
"Of course. I always wondered what you were up to?" "No,I mean with us. Do you think we would have made it?" Ittook a moment for her to answer.
"I don't know, Noah. I really don't, and you don't either. We're not the same peoplewe were then. We've changed, we've grown. Both of us."
She paused. He didn't respond, and in the silence she looked toward the creek. Shewent on:
"But yes, Noah, I think we would have. At least, I'd like to think we would have."
He nodded, looked down, then turned away. "What's Lon like?"
She hesitated, not expecting the question. Bringing up Lon's name brought slightfeelings of guilt to the surface, and for a moment she didn't know how to answer.
She reached for her cup, took another sip of tea, and listened as a woodpeckertapped in the distance. She spoke quietly.
"Lon's handsome, charming, and successful, and most of my friends are insanelyjealous. They think he's perfect, and in a lot of ways he is. He's kind to me, he makesme laugh, and I know he loves me in his own way." She paused for a moment,collecting her thoughts.
"But there's always going to be something missing in our relationship."
She surprised herself with her answer but knew it was true nonetheless. And she alsoknew by looking at him that Noah had suspected the answer in advance.
"Why?"
She smiled weakly and shrugged as she answered. Her voice was barely above awhisper.
"I guess I still look for the kind of love we had that summer."
Noah thought about what she had said for a long while, thinking about therelationships he'd had since he'd last seen her.
"How about you?" she asked. "Did you ever think about us?" "Allthe time. I still do."
"Are you seeing anyone?"
"No," he answered, shaking his head.
