The harsh āmake it quickā heād planned on saying died on his lips at her tears. āMaddie,ā he said, the endearment slipping out unintentionally. āWhatās going on?ā
āJon and I had a fight,ā she said, wrapping her arms around herself.
He tucked his hands into his pockets. āAbout?ā
āHe thinks Iām still in love with you.ā
Well, that was something. He hadnāt thought Jon even gave him a second thought when heād decided to steal his girlfriend. āAnd you thought showing up at my door after your fight was going to assuage his fears?ā Ā
She sniffled, he thought to cover a laugh, but then a sob racked her body. āHeās right, though.ā
Shit.
āIt shouldāve been you,ā she continued. āI thought... I thought weād be together for always, like we promised, and I knowāfuck, I know I messed it up.ā
āYou didnāt mess it up,ā he said, trying and failing to keep his voice steady. āYou fucking blew our relationship to pieces.ā
The anger heād long since digested roiled in his stomach. His hands clenched into fists. Was she serious? He felt the tautness of his control.
āAnd then you agreed to marry him! You didnāt even talk to me about it.ā
āI knew you would never forgive me.ā She paused. āWould you haveācould we have gone back?ā
āWeāre not doing this. Iām married. Youāre engaged to my brother.ā He took a breath. āYou made your choice. And I made mine. Whether you regret it or not is not my problem. Besides, I thought you and Hannah were friends.ā
āThis isnāt about Hannah,ā Madison said, tears continuing to stream down her face.
āThis is entirely about Hannah.ā
āI love you, William.ā
A gasp echoed down the hall. Will didnāt have to look to know it was Hannah. Heād known she was almost here. Heād opened the damned door. Will and Hannahās eyes met, with Madison, the embodiment of his cowardly secret, standing between them.
Chapter 39Hannah
I love you, William.
God, was she ever going to get that image out of her head? Will had been leaning against the doorjamb in his pajamas, a pained expression on his face. Madison had been closeātoo closeātears streaking down her cheeks. Madison was Willās maligned ex. Of course she was.
Hannah stopped at the front door, dropping her bag onto the floor. Several sets of keys hung from hooks in the mudroom. She pulled Willās down and slid them into the pocket of her hoodie. She couldnāt stay here.
Her stomach churned. She leaned against the door, willing herself to stay on her feet as a sob wracked her body. Why hadnāt he told her? Worse yet, how hadnāt she figured it out? Hannah had seen it, had felt the weird tension between the two of them for months. It explained Willās hesitation whenever she asked a question about Madison and his awkward encounter with Madisonās parents at the party. Heād been filtering his answers the whole time.
Fuck. She was such an idiot.
āHannah.ā
āLeave me alone, Will.ā He must have followed her. Why hadnāt she thought to hide in one of the million rooms in this house?
āItās notāā
She whipped her head up. He had to be kidding. āItās not what it looks like? You mean Madisonās not your ex, and sheās not still in love with you?ā
āJust listen to me, Abbott.ā
No. He didnāt get to call her Abbott or Mrs. Thorne. He didnāt get to explain. Not then. Maybe not ever. Hannah pulled open the front door and stepped out into the frigid night air. Theyād had the coldest temperatures all season this week, and she was in a hoodie.
āHannah, wait! What are you doing?ā Will grabbed her arm, stopping her in her tracks. āPlease donāt go. I love you.ā
āDonāt say that to me.ā She turned to face him, and for a split second, she worried about him being out in the snow in only his pajamas. He wasnāt even wearing shoes. āYou donāt get to say that to me.ā
āMadison is just upset. She doesnāt mean it.ā
āAre you serious right now?ā she yelled, pushing him away from her. āScrew Madison! How could you lie to me this whole time? Did you think I would never find out? That I wouldnāt care that you married me to hurt her?ā
She watched him try to come up with an answer. Finally, he shook his head and looked at her with sad eyes. āI didnāt marry you to hurt her.ā He reached for her and she flinched. He dug his hands into his pockets, his eyes imploring her to listen. But she couldnāt. āPlease come back inside.ā
She shook her head. āI trusted you with everything.ā
Without waiting for another response, she turned and ran to Willās car, barely able to see through the tears. She climbed in, started the engine, and threw the car into reverse in one beat. Hannah peeled out of the driveway, refusing to look back at Will. She drove for miles and miles, the road ahead of her blurry from her tears. She didnāt even know how to get home from here, but she couldnāt stop to find her phone. If she stopped, sheād lose the small ounce of sanity keeping her hands steady on the wheel. If she stayed on this road, it would lead her to a highway eventually.
Will and Madison. Will and fucking Madison. Had this been a joke to them? Some weird foreplay before they decided they were destined for each other. Every moment of the last three months blackenedāhad any of it been real? The thought alone brought an ache to her chest. It had to be real.Ā
A horn honked, and a splash of light sparked in her periphery. Hannah jerked the wheel to the right, narrowly avoiding a car in the oncoming lane. Her car screeched onto the shoulder. She threw it into park. Shit. She breathed heavily, trying not to hyperventilate. How was this her life? She screamed in the silence of the car, hitting the steering wheel over and over. Tears stung her eyes. There was no escaping the truthāWill, the last boy sheād truly trusted, had lied to her.
She took a breath. Music, directions, Riley, in that order. Scrolling through her music app, she selected Dashboard Confessional. Lyrics filled the small space.
Next, the unnatural voice of her GPS navigation sounded: āTurn left in one thousand feet.ā
Hannah hesitated for only a moment before opening her text exchange with Riley. Iāll be in Boston tomorrow afternoon.
Part 3
Chapter 40Will
Will stared at the note, reading the simple sentence again and again. I took the job in Boston. Hannah hadnāt even signed it. Heād rushed out after her, going back inside only to get dressed and grab Danielās keys, but the effort had been fruitless. An accident on the Southern State Parkway had stranded him, and by the time heād gotten back to the apartment, sheād gone. He knew she was at Kateās. She had nowhere else to go in the middle of the night. But that note stopped him. Her words echoed in his headāYou donāt get to say that to me. I trusted you with everything. The way sheād looked at him, as if she didnāt know who he was anymore, haunted him. Hannah had been the one person whoād never looked at him like that.Ā Ā
It had been three days with no word from her. He hadnāt been back to work because the energy required was too much. People, namely Jon, were starting to ask questions, but Will didnāt care. It wasnāt his place to tell Jon what Madison had said, what she had done. He no longer owed Jon anything. He knew he needed a storyāone grounded in truthāfor why heād left the Hamptons so suddenly and why Hannah was mysteriously absent from New York. At least he could tell the truth on that oneāshe had taken an unexpected job opportunity in Boston, and they were figuring out the details. They had to figure out the details. That couldnāt be it.
She loved him. Sheād said it first and with such weight behind her words. Sheād been willing to give up her promotion to be with him. And heād repaid her by lying and by opening that damned door. The romantic in him wanted to fly to Boston and demand she hear him out. He would confess his love for her, beg her to take him backāwhatever it took, he would do it. But her look had killed the romantic. If Hannah had wanted to save their marriage, she wouldāve left more than a note, and she wouldnāt have taken Binx.
The apartment door creaked open. Will didnāt even turn toward it, just kept staring at that note. It wasnāt going to be Hannah.