Her words came out slow and drawn-out, like she was trying to make sure that I understood her very clearly. “Micah, what’s this all about?”
I rubbed my eyes, trying to gather all the information that I had to throw at Mom to get her up to date. Whenever I mentioned Ada before, she would immediately put up her guard, and I wasn’t going to challenge that this time.
“Ada almost got arrested because she was at a dope house that someone called about,” I said in a rush when Mom’s face paled. “Someone from college knew her, though, so they let her off easily for public intoxication.”
“Where is she now?” Mom asked, panic lacing her voice.
“She’s in detox. Nik volunteers at the Collective and has some connections. There were coordinators who pulled some strings to get her into a good place.”
Mom covered her mouth with her hand, catching the sound that choked out of her. She bent in half, her shoulders shaking violently. I’d never seen her react this way, not even when she and Dad had put Ada through rehab after rehab or when my parents separated.
I was halfway out of my chair when she straightened and pulled out a handkerchief that she always kept in her purse. That was something else she never used to do—have something nearby to catch her tears.
Oceans of tears, and we still had more to give to Ada. Mom had severed the ties with her only daughter and managed to wake up every day and get out of bed. The idea of doing that to Ada had always been so monumental, it was hard to conceptualize. Now, I understood, deep in my bones, that maybe putting that oxygen mask on first meant not fighting the inevitable anymore.
“How do you do it?” I whispered, unable to control off the quiver in my voice. “How do you let Ada go?”
Mom looked at me with shock, her jaw dropped. “You never let them go, love. Waiting for someone to get healthy isn’t giving up. If Ada truly wants to get better, we’ll be there for her. I’ll always love no matter who she is, if she’s an active addict or working on sobriety. If she’s clean for years and falls off the wagon, I’ll still love her. I’ll never let her go because she means everything to me. You both do.”
Nik was right. This was love. That all the imperfections of a person, all their evolutions were meant to be loved. Ada could walk out of detox and head right back to the same house that was raided and I would still love her. I would wait for her. I would give her time.
“Nik told me that it’s important to meet them where they’re at,” I said, flattening my hands on the table.
“That’s incredibly insightful.”
“He’s been where Ada’s at before and has been clean for a long time. He volunteers for this hotline where people call if they’re using so if anything goes wrong, he can get them help. The goal isn’t to get them clean, it’s to give them time.” I looked up at Mom and breathed a laugh. “Ada deserves to have time.”
“She does. Nik sounds like he understands a lot more about this than we do.” Mom’s smile was watery, and tears lined the eyes Ada and I shared with her. “I really liked him.”
“I love him,” I said, lacing my hands together. “I really do.”
“I had a feeling,” Mom said, laughing when I looked at her in confusion. She covered my hands with her own. “You may not have realized it, but you look at him like he’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen.”
“Sounds about right,” I said, ducking my head to hide the heat rising in my face.
“He’s still invited to the vow renewal. And you are too.”
“I’ll let him know.” I closed my eyes to gather the strength to say something that had been long overdue. “I was trying to love someone who doesn’t exist anymore. I want to put that love into who Ada is now.”
“That’s the only way you can do this,” Mom said, squeezing my hands.
“I’m sorry about being an absolute idiot about all of this. I should’ve listened to you more. And Nik.”
Mom reached out for me, and I took her hands in my own. “Oh, love, I appreciate it, but I want you to work on yourself too. It’s important.”
“Yeah, about that,” I said, chewing on my bottom lip. “Do you happen to have any therapist recommendations?”
“I’ve been waiting for you to ask me that,” Mom said, grabbing for her purse and pulling out her phone. “Let me text you a couple that have been highly recommended.”
Afterward, we walked together out to the parking lot. Mom put a hand on my arm to stop me from walking to my car and said, “I owe you an apology. I’d always had this idea of what success was supposed to be, and you never fit into that. But I see your success now, and I am proud of you. Your dad is too.”
When I got into my car, I looked up to the sky and breathed in a long breath. There were so many emotions going on inside of my head and heart, it was hard to identify any of them. The ever-present admiration for my parents, the newly birthed hope for Ada. And underneath all that was a consuming, powerful, steady burst of love for Nik.
Just as I put my car into drive, my phone rang. A spark lit in my chest, thinking it was Nik, but when I saw Duncan’s name, it flickered into worry. He wouldn’t be calling me if there wasn’t something wrong.
When I answered, the question that came through was completely unexpected. “Are you busy Saturday evening?”
“Not that I know of,” I said cautiously.
“Great,” Duncan said, his voice brightening. “I have a party I really think you should come to. . .”
NIK
Destiny went all out for Duncan’s birthday, buying the most ridiculous cake ever and putting out photos of him through his childhood into an adult. The sheer embarrassment on Duncan’s face meant there was no way in hell I was leaving.
Thankfully, Duncan saved me from being roped into setting up, pulling me away and pretending like he was showing me the new flower beds Chance had made for him.
“I still can’t believe you convinced Destiny to have your party here,” I said in awe. It was a rare occasion that Destiny was talked out of whatever wild-ass ideas she had in her head about location and theme. “What kinda deal with god did you make in order to convince her to have it here?”
“A man never tells his secrets,” Duncan said with a smug smile.
“You know, if it wasn’t your birthday party, I would’ve had some clapback to that, but I’ma gonna refrain. That’s how much I love you.”
“I appreciate it because I have to keep an eye on my cousin or she’s going to end up setting up a karaoke machine, and I hate karaoke.”
“Beats having some shitty-ass DJ playing the weirdest mixes,” I said, keeping an eye out to see if Destiny was really sneaking in a karaoke machine. “How many people are coming?”
