“I was a coward.” Sally’s voice broke as she choked back a sob. “I went back to gather my things, but she found me packing and I was so scared, I—I told her.” Sally covered her face with her hands, her body stiff and taut, as if braced against a sudden jolt. Katherine put her arm around the rigid shoulders but stayed silent, sensing there was more.
Wiping her hand across her eyes, Sally lifted her head and continued. “I don’t know why she wanted to keep my brother from going to London, but she locked me in my room and I heard her on the phone with the police, making up some story about him to get them to find him for her. She acted the part of the concerned mother, but I knew the truth.
"Somehow, he got out of town before the police could find him, but on the way to London—” Sally stood still and looked up at the sky, squeezing her eyes shut to keep back the tears. An anguished whisper finally squeaked out from between her lips. “He was on a motorcycle, and there was a crash.”
Katherine drew her friend into her arms. “He didn’t survive?” She felt her friend shake her head, and then the dam burst. Tears streamed down Sally’s face and sobs racked her body. Sally stood, fists clenched, body stiff. Katherine held her friend, unsure what else to do. She had never experienced such deep agony, such guilt and anger. How could she help her friend see the truth?
“Sally,” she said softly as her friend’s sobs subsided and she pulled away to wipe her face with the edge of her sleeve. “Sally, will you look at me?”
Sally looked up, eyes full of uncertainty.
“Nothing is beyond God’s forgiveness, if you ask for it.”
“But I betrayed him. My own brother!”
Katherine stood silent for a moment, then began softly. “Remember how I told you that Jesus died to pay for our sins?”
“Yes.”
“Well, while Jesus was on trial, being lied about by false witnesses and sentenced to that painful death, a man named Peter stood outside. He was Jesus’ friend, maybe even like a brother. Three times, people asked if he was with Jesus, and three times, he denied even knowing Him.
"Instead of standing up for his Friend, Peter denied Him. He had said he was with Jesus to the death, but when the time came, he was afraid, and lied to protect himself. And Sally—Jesus forgave him.” She looked directly into Sally’s eyes. “Nothing is beyond His forgiveness. Not even a betrayal.”
Sally sniffed and stuffed her hands in her pockets. “Can we keep walking?” she asked, eyes on her shoes.
“Sure.” They walked together in silence a while longer. Katherine couldn’t decide whether Sally could handle more, but she sensed she needed to hear it. “Can I tell you something else?” she asked gently.
Sally gave her a quick glance, then nodded.
“Your brother…” Katherine stopped, unsure how to phrase what she wanted to say. Lord, give me words! “From what you just told me, you couldn’t have stopped him from going. And you definitely couldn’t have protected him from that accident.”
Katherine stopped and turned her friend’s shoulders to face her. She spoke slowly, and with certainty. “You didn’t kill your brother.”
Sally stopped abruptly, looking steadfastly at her feet. “But if he hadn’t been hurrying to get away—”
“Would that have changed anything? Wasn’t he planning to take you to London that night, even before you told your stepmother about it?”
Sally’s face crumpled, and her fists clenched. “But I wasn’t there. I didn’t go with him. It should have been him and me on that bike together. Maybe if I’d gone—”
Katherine placed one hand gently on Sally’s shoulder. “You can’t know what would have happened. Sally, the only thing you can know for sure is what did happen. You didn’t stay behind on purpose, you were locked in your room. There was nothing you could have done to stop it. It wasn’t your fault he died.”
Sally pulled her arms across her middle and whispered, “But I lived.”
Katherine’s heart sank. There it is. She thought, heart almost breaking for her friend. This was the real source of her friend’s guilt and remorse.
“That wasn’t your fault either.” she said gently. “Has it ever occurred to you that there might be a reason you were kept from that accident?” Turning her friend toward her, she continued. “God has a purpose for you, Sally, a good and loving purpose. And nothing you have done or could ever do will change His love for you.”
Suddenly, something seemed to break inside Sally. She turned and threw her arms around Katherine’s neck, clinging tight. She was sobbing again, but Katherine sensed no defiance this time, nothing held back. They stood that way for a long time while Sally sobbed out years of guilt and pain. Finally, she stepped back, dragging an already sodden sleeve across her face. “I’m sorry,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.
“Sally, I’m glad to be here for you, and that’s the truth.”
Sally mustered a watery half-smile. “You’ve said lots of true things today. Thank you.” Her voice fell to a whisper again, but no tears fell this time.
Katherine hoped the compassion she felt for her friend showed in her smile. “You’re welcome. Do you want to walk further?”
Sally shook her head. “I think I’m ready to start back now. I suppose we won’t have time to see your neighborhood now?”
Katherine glanced up at the sun. Their talk had taken a while, and they still had to walk quite a distance back to the park entrance. She looked back at her friend. “I think we need to get back, but we can always come again.”
Sally looked skeptical. “Truly? You don’t mind, now that you… know?”
“Not at all, Sally. Nothing you told me today changes anything. God loves you just the same as He always has, and so do I.”
Sally looked at her, thoughtful, exhausted, but with a look of hope in her eyes. “You really believe that He could love me?”
Katherine gave her friend another hug. “With all my heart. He can, and does.”
Sally hugged back, then broke away, a thoughtful look on her face.
As they neared the stairs down to First Street, Sally asked, “How do I…do it? I mean, how do I ask for forgiveness, like you said.”
“Your Aunt Harriet is fond of saying that prayer is just telling it all to God. Tell Him what you told me, but most importantly, tell Him about the ways you know you have sinned, and ask Him to forgive you, believing that His death on the cross paid for your sin.”
“That’s it?”
“That’s it.”
“I don’t have to do anything or say special words?”
