Without God, she would still be dully moving through life, overwhelmed by the pain in her heart and the darkness of her past. As she sat and watched the blanket of clouds over the harbor slowly change from midnight blue to the pale grey of morning, her heart once again overflowed in what had become her favorite prayer: Thank You, Lord!

21 Dilemma and Decision

“Katherine, do you have a few minutes?” Mrs. James asked as Katherine came down the stairs, buttoning her jacket.

“Yes, I think so, although I need to get to the Harborside.” She tried to keep her tone light, crossing the room with quick strides, to mask the uneasiness that suddenly gripped her. 

 “It can open late today,” another voice said from behind her.

 “Serena! What are you doing here?” Katherine was pleased to see her friend, but it did seem strange for her to be at the tea shop before it opened.

“We’ve been having a chat, Dearie. Come and sit down.” Mrs. James motioned Katherine into a chair at Serena’s table before taking another herself.

 Katherine looked from one lady to the other, not sure what was coming next. The verse flitted through her mind: Perfect love casteth out fear. Katherine felt a wave of peace wash over her. I trust You, she prayed silently, meaning it.

The two women looked at each other, as if deciding how to begin. Serena spoke first.

“I have watched you these last few weeks, and seen how you have invested in the Harborside. It isn’t just a job to you, is it?”

Katherine shook her head. “I…” she blushed and looked down for a moment. Then she met Serena’s eyes. “the Harborside feels like home to me.”

Serena nodded. “I know. I could tell that first day I met you, when you came down from the secret room and thought I was a customer. Remember?”

Katherine chuckled at the memory. “I had no idea it was you.”

Serena took a sip of her tea before going on. “Well, I know you and Jeremiah have talked about what to do with this new space we will have, and I think your idea of a museum is wonderful! It will take time to set up and manage, though.—more time than we have you contracted for.”

Katherine’s stomach tightened a little. “Yes…I suppose so.”

“So that’s why Jeremiah and I would like to offer you a full-time position at the Harborside.”

Katherine tried to speak, but couldn’t form the words. Her heart beat away happily, leaving her a little breathless. But then she looked at Mrs. James and realized what a full-time position would mean.  “But..” she forced out, her voice barely above a whisper, “Miss Harriet’s…”

The other lady smiled gently. “Sally did so well in my absence, and I don’t have any lengthy trips coming up. I think we can manage here if you want to take this position.”

“Jeremiah is nearly well enough to help with some of the administrative details now, though you might keep an eye on his ledger work for the next few weeks.” Serena winked, then her face sobered. “But, to be honest, I don’t like the idea of him there alone all the time, especially until his leg is fully healed. It would be a help, not just to the Harborside, but to me as well if you would be willing to be full time.”

Katherine felt like her heart was playing tug-of-war with itself. She loved working at Miss Harriet’s and she loved Sally and Mrs. James, who had both become so dear to her. But the Harborside was home and the captain—she knew he would need more help than ever now. And she wanted to be the one to help. What should I do? She prayed silently.

“Think about it for a day or so, and let me know.” Serena said gently. Katherine looked at the women again. Both were beaming, confident that this was the right thing for her.

“I’ll let you know when I’m sure.” She said, not certain how she would ever decide.

* * * *

The day moved past in a blurry fog. Katherine decided dusting jars was about all she was fit to handle for the day, and her inattention nearly cost her the loss of yet another antique tea bowl. It had slipped out of her hand as she wiped it with the rag, her mind on the relentless tug-of-war inside her. Thankfully, she had caught the bowl in time. She shuddered, remembering how close she had come to breaking it.

Unlocking the door, she threw her keys onto the table and crossed to the window seat. Curling her legs under her, she grabbed a pillow and hugged it tightly to her. What should I do? she thought, leaning her head wearily against the cool glass of the windowpane. Lord, help me decide.

If she took the position at the Harborside, she would be thrust into something of a new life. No more bussing tables, taking orders, and prepping food. No more morning baking or dishes in the evening.

Part of her felt ready for a change, but she was used to how things were. Was she willing to give up Miss Harriet’s and work only for the Harborside? Am I willing to do it if God wants me to? The question softly filled her mind, while conviction pressed at her heart. 

She tossed the pillow aside and knelt next to the window seat. Lord, I trust You. I want Your will, no matter what. Please, guide me. Her heart yearned for everything to just stay the same, but was that really the right decision? She stayed on her knees, determined to pray until God showed her what to do.

* * * *

Clear morning light peeped over the rooftops as Katherine drifted awake. Gradually, she realized she had fallen asleep praying. She eased herself up onto the window seat and slowly moved her legs to work the stiffness out. Gazing out the window, she noticed that the clouds had gone from her heart and mind, as well as from the sky. She no longer felt torn. She knew the answer she would give Serena.

* * * *

When she arrived at the Harborside, the captain and Tommy were already there.

“Good mornin’ Katherine!” Captain Braddock gave her a happy grin she hadn’t seen in a while.

“Good morning. It’s good to see you two here.” Looking over at Tommy, she asked, “But what about school? You aren’t skipping just to hang out with the captain, are you?” She put on her sternest frown and shook her finger at the boy.

He laughed. “Nope. There was no school today, so I came here instead.”

“And I am very glad you did, my boy. It’s been too long since I saw you.”

Tommy’s face shone with delight. “Any more rags, Katherine? I asked Cap’n, but he said to ask you.”

“Yes, I washed them, but haven't put them away yet. I’ll get some for you.” She went into the kitchen to grab the stack of clean rags she had folded the day before.

As she returned to the shopfront, Tommy was sitting at the captain’s feet, listening to the story of the Anne’s first voyage, mouth open, eyes wide, enthralled by the captain’s description of the pirate raid. Just as though he’d never heard it before. Katherine smiled and leaned her head against the doorway. After a few minutes, she shifted slightly and her foot met a creaky floorboard.

The distinct sound caught the captain’s attention and he turned. With a questioning look he asked, “What’re you thinking of, my girl?”

With a smile on her face and joy in her heart, she said simply, “Home.”

The captain’s eyes lit with realization. “You’ve decided, then?”

“Yes. I’ll be working full time at the Harborside now.” Peace flooded Katherine’s heart as she said the words.