Katherine’s look softened and she managed a weak sort of smile. “That’s just what Miss Harriet would say.”

Mr. James grinned and said with a wink, “Where do you think I got it from?”

Katherine laughed in spite of herself, then sobered again, saying, “I did pray… but I’m still not sure what God wants me to do. All the other times I’ve asked God about decisions, there has been something specific I was asking about, and I’m not sure how to tell how He’s leading when there aren’t clear options to choose between.”

“Yes, that can seem more difficult. But wait. God will make it clear in due time what you should do. You keep praying, and I’ll pray too.”

“Thank you.” Katherine said, and stood, wiping her eyes one last time on the napkin before wadding it up in her hand. “I do feel a little better just having talked it out.”

“I’m happy to have been of service.”

Katherine turned to walk away, but Mr. James called her back.

“It occurs to me—and I ‘m not fishing for you to tell me what the trouble is—but if it were to happen to be financial, I believe Mr. Patten handles the Harborside’s accounts at the bank. He probably wouldn’t be authorized to tell you anything specific about the Harborside’s financial situation, but he may be able to explain what the paper meant, if you can think how to ask in a general sort of way.”

A light dawned in Katherine’s eyes as he spoke. “That’s it!” she said, then caught herself and said, “At least, if the problem happened to be financial.”

“And there is another person you could talk to, one who knows all about it already.”

“Who is that?”

“Captain Braddock.”

Katherine sighed deeply. “I know. I’m planning to talk to him, but not just yet. I will, though… once I have a better idea of what’s really going on.”

The truth was, Katherine dreaded having to confess to the captain what she had done. She couldn’t bear the thought of damaging the bond they had formed, and yet, the damage had already been done—he just didn’t know about it yet.

* * * *

When Mr. Patten came in later that morning, Katherine found herself struggling to keep her questions in until the right moment. She tried to be calm as she took his order and tried equally hard not to be irritated with the young couple who came in at just the moment Katherine was going to speak. She greeted them cheerily and showed them to a table.

As she prepared Mr. Patten’s tea and pasty, she heard the bell over the door again, and wondered if she would ever get a chance to talk with the elderly banker.

Oh, Lord, she silently prayed before leaving the kitchen again. If You want me to talk to Mr. Patten, please make a way. She took a deep breath, picked up the tray, and walked through the curtained doorway.

The young couple were deep in conversation, and Mr. Patten had just put down the newspaper he had been reading as Katherine walked up. She set the tray down, and before she could speak, Mr. Patten said,

“Thank you, Katherine. Now, there’s something I want to speak with you about. I know that you are very busy, but would you mind joining me for just a few minutes as soon as it’s convenient?”

Katherine could hardly believe her ears! She nodded and hurried around to all the tables, taking orders and bringing checks. Finally, when everyone in the shop had been served, she went to Mr. Patten’s table and sat down with a breathless, “I think everyone’s set, but you’ll have to excuse me if we get interrupted.”

Mr. Patten nodded. “Of course.”

“What was it you wanted to talk about?” Katherine asked.

“It regards Captain Braddock. I gather you have enjoyed working at his shop?”

Katherine nodded, her heart fluttering with suspense. “Very much.”

“And do I understand correctly that the Captain considers you his friend?”

“I think so.”

“Then I feel justified in telling you something that I really ought not discuss. The truth is, Captain Braddock has been asking for information about a course of action which I feel would be very much to his hurt. I am bound by the confidentiality of my position, so I cannot give you specifics. I can only say that the step he is considering would be very unadvisable.” He paused, and Katherine asked timidly,

“Would it help if I asked you to explain, generally, what it would mean to a person’s financial state if he—or she—signed over their retirement savings to a business that was losing money?”

Mr. Patten’s eyes grew wide. “He has told you, then?”

“No.” Katherine said, her face growing hot. “But I have…gathered, you might say.”

“Then I can tell you—generally, as you say—that if a person’s income were limited to his or her retirement savings account, he or she would be very unwise to sign that account over to anyone or anything, for it is their only means of support. Even if the individual expected some return on their investment, the loss of personal income long term would nevertheless be catastrophic.”

“And, can you tell me if a business like the Harborside, for example, could survive very long with the addition of such an amount of savings as its only income?”

Mr. Patten considered before answering, as if weighing the information he wanted to give with the limits of what was appropriate to share. “I can tell you that a business such as the Harborside could only survive for a short time on such a sum. Even with so large an investment, a business with so few customers cannot last very long at all. I have seen several such businesses destroyed, and their owners along with them, by similar conditions.”

Katherine’s heart sank. “What can I do to help?”

“Nothing. That is, nothing short of convincing the owner to branch out, perhaps advertise… the main thing is to generate more sales.”

“I understand.” Katherine said. “Thank you for telling me. I will see what I can do.”

Mr. Patten stood and reached out to shake Katherine’s hand.

“I am sorry to give you such a bleak account, but I thought you should know.”

“Thank you.” Katherine said, and with an amount of composure worthy of Miss Harriet herself, she walked calmly into the kitchen, pulled the curtain carefully shut, and began to sob.

28 Confessions and Sorrows

Katherine stood with her hand on the doorhandle, trying to gather courage to open the door. She knew she had to confess to the Captain, and it needed to be sooner rather than later. Closing her eyes, she willed herself to open the door, but to no avail.

It took all the strength she could muster at that moment to accomplish the monumental effort of standing still when all she wanted to do was turn and flee back to the safety of solitude at Miss Harriet’s. No, she would stay. But, oh! Where would she find the words to say? And how would she be able to bear his response?

Lord, help me! Her heart cried, as she leaned her head against the doorframe, eyes squeezed tight against the tears that threatened to spill out. Help me do what I know is right. Help me to be brave and not run away!

She straightened up, smoothed her hair back from her face, and turned the door handle.

“Hello, Katherine.” Captain Braddock came in from his office with a smile, wiping his hands on a dust rag. “Ready to unpack the week’s shipments?”

“Yes, I mean, no…that is… I have to tell you something first.”