"Officially," Diane murmured.

"Unofficially," he went on, "it's because I don't want to give Murdock or any of the Earthside brass a chance to call me back and keep me down there. I decided a long time ago that this is where I want to be. This is my home."

He could sense Diane shaking her head. "So those are the official and unofficial reasons. Now what are the real reasons?"

The fear was still inside him, but it felt strangely muted, distant, fading.

"Chet," Diane said, tracing a finger along the length of his thigh, "you haven't told me anything you wouldn't tell Pat Kelly or one of your other buddies. We've known each other a long time. I don't care about your politics or your Air Force brass. I want to know what's going on inside your head."

"Why?"

"I've never been able to figure you out," she admitted. "And now I want to. I've got to. I need to know everything about you. Everything."

A picture of Samson and Delilah flashed through his mind. "You want to know why I haven't gone back Earthside for five years."

Her answer was so immediate it startled him. "I want to know what you're afraid of."

"It's too beautiful," he said. "And too ugly. It's too big and exciting, and too small and crowded. It's . . ."

"It's home," she said for him.

He nodded. "Right. Everybody up here knows that. All the permanent Luniks. We feel like exiles, no matter how much we tell each other that Selene is better than New York or Moscow or London or Tokyo. It is better up here! That's the hell of it. We have more freedom, more food and energy, even more living space per capita than most Earth cities. A better, more intelligent society ..."

"But Earth is home."

"The elephants' graveyard," Kinsman said. "If 1 spent a few days on Earth—especially if I got out into whatever's left of the countryside, saw a blue sky with clouds, or a hill covered with grass, trees . . ."

"They're mostly covered with housing developments." 364

"No they're not. Not by a long shot. I can see them from here, through the 'scopes. Montana, the Canadian Rockies, the Mongolian grasslands—there are still herds of horses running wild out there! And the oceans! If I stood on a beach and watched the breakers coming in . . ."

He stopped. His voice had risen. He was losing control.

Calmer, he said, "You don't have to worry about Pierce staying. I know him. He'll take the shuttle and go back to his family, no matter what I tell him. He'll head for the ele- phants' graveyard to die, all right."

"And we'll stay here."

"Right."

"We'll survive."

"Yes."

Diane sighed. "We're the strong ones, aren't we?"

"I wish I knew," he said.

"Are we going to have a life together, Chet?"