We’d been waiting here so long I could no longer bend my fingers, and my ears were nearing cryogenic freezing. It was time to face it. Ru wasn’t coming.
Just when I thought he might be different Ru was turning out to be just another low-level Simon. I’d even messaged to ask if he was bailing, and he hadn’t even bothered turning his phone on to get any of my messages. Not cool.
But it was the reminder I needed. This is why I was a Jingle Lady. This was exactly why I never let myself get close to anyone but Grace.
I trudged over to the cabins to find Grace. She’d gone inside to defrost and watch the interviews with the cast that they were streaming live from one of the chalets. One of the influencers had grabbed them and I could hear Maeve chatting away about having to kiss Joseph, and Grace making an “ooooooh” as she did.
I hadn’t told Grace about the village hall call yet. She was having such a good day – I was just going to have to find another venue and get it sorted before she knew there had been a problem, I didn’t want her to worry about a thing.
I’d listened to the message again when she’d gone to take photos of the reindeer (Derek sneezed aggressively at me and I fled). An annoyed Sue said they’d sent me a booking form but had never got it back. She was right. A flashback to the half-filled-in form on my laptop came back to me. And now they’d hired it out to the “Santa Paws Fur-stive Finale!” – a pet charity’s annual fancy dress competition. I’d rung Sue and begged to even just share the venue, but she said that last year they’d had trouble with one of the hamsters so needed to keep it “invite only” for health and safety reasons.
I was such an idiot. But I was going to fix it and had already emailed every venue on my original list. But all I’d got back so far were three “no”s. And one asking if a £2,000 hire fee “sounded good”. No! It sounded terrible. Is this how Mary and Joseph felt with the innkeeper? Although, was I comparing my bad party admin to giving birth to the son of God? Glad I was keeping it in perspective.
I dropped my head back against the outside of the Portakabin. There was no way I was going to not find a venue, even if I had to build one, brick by brick. I wasn’t going to let Grace down and we were going to raise that thousand pounds for Holly Hospice. So I couldn’t just stand here worrying about it – or the fact that Dad was currently wandering round Edinburgh joining in with buskers and handing out sweets like an oversized elf (I know, cos he’d sent a video) or that I was turning into a human ice cube. Grace and I needed to finish filming. Then I needed to get the all-clear from Elijah that our deal was done, so I could put this stupid film behind me and focus on Grampy’s Grotto.
I knocked on the open door of the cabin.
“Is now an OK time to drag you away?” I peered in. Grace and Jack, my make-up saviour, were sipping hot drinks, gathered round an iPad.
“I will never be ready to be dragged away from Joseph.” Grace sighed as she stood up.
“If I see him, I’ll be sure to tell him … to hang on to his personal items and call security.” Jack laughed as he pulled Grace in for a hug. “… I mean, say hello to this gorgeous dancer from Bromster.” Grace beamed. Guess she loved Jack as much as I did. “Now, Miss Molly. You said your best mate had the Nutcracker dance down, but come on!” He snapped his fingers three times. “More talent in her little toe than some of these people have in their whole bodies. And that’s when she’s frozen! Imagine a defrosted Grace, not in long johns.” Mum had snuck some into my case. “Incredible!”
But we had work to do, so said bye, and headed to the maze, diving straight into a therapeutic session slagging off Ru for being a total let-down. Grace also filled me in on the make-up kit Jack donated to the raffle and I changed my mind at least twenty times about whether to tell Grace about the venue. But we were so busy chatting we forgot the rule of keeping left in mazes and ended up totally lost. Each tree had been decorated with something different. My favourite was the one covered entirely in dog decorations – but now we’d walked past it four times the novelty was wearing off. We stopped to take a picture of us looking lost by it, which was when we heard a crunch of footsteps on wood chippings.
Was there some dark hair sticking out over the top of one of the smaller trees?
Some hair belonging to Harry of “I swear I didn’t post that” fame?
“Oi!” I shouted. Into a branch. One of the dancers from Strictly popped up. “Argh!” I gasped in their face. “Not you.” She disappeared back into the hedge. Today really was very weird. “Harry…” I shouted. “Harrrry!!!!”
“Aren’t we mad at him?” Grace whispered, confused.
“Half mad.” He did keep saying it wasn’t him. “But you can interrogate him, and if anyone can get us out of a maze, it’s him.”
She looked impressed. “Is he super clever?”
“Who knows. But he is very, very tall.”
But there was no reply. Maybe it wasn’t him? Grace explored the left turn and I waited by the tree decorated with tiny Lego figures.
“Molly,” said a familiar cockney voice from behind. I spun round – it was Harry. He grinned. “I thought I heard you, but it was hard to get to you when we’re in, y’know, a maze.”
“Yes.” I half-smiled at him, so I could keep the half-mad bit on standby in case I needed it. “I’ve heard they can be a little tricky to navigate.”
The dancer from Strictly appeared again, stared at us and scurried off.
“I swear she’s been in here for three hours.” He shook his head. “Doesn’t she realize you can just push through the trees?” He tilted one of the trees and suddenly I could see the next path. Harry tried not to laugh. “Please don’t tell me you hadn’t figured that out either.”
“Of course we had,” I said defensively.
“OK, it could be this way?” Grace reappeared, but she was looking back down the path she’d just come from. “But it also might not be. So if we don’t want to be stuck in here and leave my dad at the mercy of your dad forcing him to attempt the bagpipes in public, then we better get going…” But as she spotted the tall, smiling Harry next to me, her words ground to a halt. And so did she.
I waited for the smart remark from Harry. About us being stuck. Or bagpipes. But the only noise was snow softly hitting the ground and some carols in the distance.
Harry was grinning at Grace. Grace was grinning at Harry. And … OK … this maze suddenly didn’t feel big enough for the three of us.
Erm… Guess I was going to have to say something unless I wanted my last hours on Earth to be slowly freezing to death as Grace and Harry grinned at each other.
“So, Grace, this is Harry … of uploading the photo of me as an elf fame.” Harry’s face dropped.
“Even though it catsolutley abigorically…” He shook his head, flustered. “I meant absolutely categorically wasn’t me.” He said it so firmly it was hard to imagine it was a lie.
“And this” – I pointed towards my best friend – “is Grace. All round excellent human, lover of all things festive and officially has a toe that is more talented than anyone here.”
She wiggled her foot.
“And soon to be turning to cannibalism if we don’t make it out of here. I cannot eat another bit of shortbread or Lebkuchen. But Christmas cannibalism is OK, right?”
Harry laughed. “If pigs in blankets are OK, I’m sure human in coat is also fine.” He smiled. And blushed. And looked back at her and… HELLO, GUYS! I’M STILL HERE!
How had I not thought about this sooner? Harry was 100% Grace’s type. But maybe she’d been too sad about Simon for me to realize? Or did I just have Jingle Lady blindness?
“Let’s go then.” He rubbed at his scruffy hair. “…I’ve got a good idea how to get out… And by good idea, I mean pushing through the trees or … this map.” He flicked it out. “Which I’m willing to use if Molly agrees it wasn’t me who put that photo up.”
“Molly isn’t willing to do that … yet.” I looked at Grace, who nodded in support. “But for the sake of Grace’s h-anger … I’ll agree to a hiatus.”
“You can buy the next round of hot chocolates to say sorry,” Grace said to Harry, not missing a beat. “Churros too. Not that you did it, of course.”
Harry rolled his eyes, but he was laughing. And he carried on laughing as he and Grace led the way out, both deep in conversation.
But hanging behind was fine. I needed to check my messages. But there was nothing. No venue news. All I had was a message from Ru.
Ru: I am so sorry! I got dragged into a work thing and didn’t have signal.
Ru: If you’re free, and want to see the world’s worst skater in action, I’m heading down to the staff only session on the castle ice rink if you fancy it?
I did not.
Ru had messed me around, and now I was having a way better time with Grace and Harry. And any spare second I had was now about finding a venue. But I’d tell him in a bit, let him sweat after he’d made me wait all that time.
I put my phone away and looked up. Result! We were at the exit of the maze.
But I stopped dead.
There was something terrible. Someone.
Standing next to Jack, checking her phone and looking cold and bored, was Maeve. Maeve actual Murphy.
