“Which it probably was.”
“Maybe. But I don’t like it—and you—just being here, you’re going to turn yourself into bait.”
“Good.” Our eyes met in the zone of the fatal. She recoiled a little from her own vehemence, then snuck back up on it. “Good. Whoever hurt Devon, whoever hates my boys, let him come for me. I wanna see his face.”
“You’re talking crazy, Cinnamon.”
“I. Don’t. Care.” She cast another glance across the empty courtyard to the curtains behind glass. “And I’m not leaving.”
“Did you tell your husband?”
She nodded.
“What did you say.”
“I told him the truth, all of it. And I told him I was done living a fake life. Enough—time to set me free.”
“Wow. How’d he take it?”
“Oh, he’s an infant, he stormed off. But I can’t mollycoddle anyone anymore—” She shook her head. “Adam—my whole fucking life has been one long impasse, running from this. Believe me, I have tried to let it all go—more than anybody could ever know.”
“You mean…Emil?”
“Emil, all of it. I tried. To be someone else—like the band never happened. Well, it didn’t work. I just kept on being me, stuck behind that…wall of toys. And now—” She motioned to the old man sleeping inside. “No. I’m done.”
“So…what are you going to do exactly?”
“Nothing. Just be here, by his side. To the very end.” Her parted lips breathed condensation in the cold. I couldn’t tell if she was broken, mad, delirious, or bursting with joy. Maybe all of the above.
“Cin, I still don’t think you get how dangerous this is. Things are way hairy right now. Somebody broke into my place, harassed one of my clients. I came to tell Mr. Elkaim…I’m out.”
“What?”
“No, yeah, I give up.”
“Do not do that, Adam, it will only hurt him.”
“But I’m at a dead end, totally outta leads. I went to see Dr. Bahari. Freak.”
She got somber. “Did he scare you off this? Did he hurt you?”
“Naw. He’s a nut—but he’s no killer.”
“What did he say?”
“Swears he never laid eyes on Reynaldo—and I believe him. And he loved Emil, plain as day. I mean, he visited him in jail. Did you know that?”
She shook her head. For a second, I almost told her about the stupid video, how they double-crossed her, but just then it started to drizzle, and anyway it seemed so inconsequential now. I pulled the envelope from my inside pocket.
“I gotta do this, Cin. I came to give Charles his money back.”
“Oh. So this is about the money?”
“No, of course not, but—”
“Adam. What do you think we’re doing here?”
“In this courtyard?”
“No, not in this courtyard—in this life.”
I didn’t answer.
“You think it’s just some kind of coincidence that Mr. Elkaim called on you? He picked you because he trusts you.”
“Yeah, I’m honored, but—”
“This is a man that believes in divine purpose—and he gave you one. I knew it the second you showed up.”
“Cin, I’ve got work to do.”
“What work—carting around strangers? Living like a lone wolf. You are making such a big mistake. This will follow you wherever you go and you know it.”
“Maybe. But I also know that you are risking your life for an old man who’s going to die soon anyway.”
“Not just some old man. The only man who ever treated me like a real father—the father of the love of my life.” She stopped herself and gave me a compassionate look, just this side of pity. Then: “You got a love of your life?”
I hesitated at the funny question. “I don’t think so.”
