Begay ducked the fiery blast. One hand reached back to grab the water bucket, brought it around to smack the demonic bully square in the face. A noise like a big boiler letting off steam filled the room together with a ragged shriek. The other two demons stumbled clear of the evaporating puff of steam that had been their companion. All that remained of Steven’s principal tormentor was a small pile of red and black ashes.
Burnfingers tossed the empty bucket aside and picked up the wire broom. “Now you two both get out.”
Watching him warily, the survivors edged rapidly around the far side of the room. Though they spoke threateningly, they were obviously frightened of the janitor.
“You’ll hear about this!” one of them squealed. “You’ll be sorry—ouch!” Burnfingers’s broom caught him across the seat of his jeans and lifted him a foot off the floor.
“We’re gonna tell, we’re gonna tell the supervisor!” its companion moaned as he retreated down the hall.
“Go right ahead. I’ll tell him you were operating in a restricted area.” Burnfingers closed the door behind them. He put down the broom and entered the bathroom, smiling reassuringly. “It is okay now, little fella. You can come out. They are gone and will not come back soon.”
A hesitant Steven peeked out, rubbing at one eye with a fist. “Thank you, Mr. Begay.”
“Me, too,” said Frank, holding out a hand to his son. “Thanks.”
“You are welcome. They did not belong here doing what they were doing and they knew it.”
Alicia was staring in amazement at the pile of ashes.
“Now maybe you folks ought to tell me what you are doing here,” Burnfingers suggested.
“With pleasure.” All suspicions gone, Frank proceeded to explain as best he was able.
7
AFTERWARD, Burnfingers stood thinking for a long time. Then he muttered something angry in Navajo and gave the water bucket a kick that dented the metal.
“Wrong. All wrong. If you were not sent here, then you should not be kept here. They should confess a mistake has been made.”
“But will they?” Alicia dared to sound hopeful. “If they don’t, is there anything you could do for us? You say they let you move about freely. Can you help us get away from here? Or maybe you could intercede on our behalf with whoever’s in charge.”
Burnfingers shook his head. “He does not concern himself with small matters. In any case, you do not want to bring yourselves to his attention. One time I saw him, riding by in his limo, and even though I had a long hot way to travel I did not consider asking for a ride.” He paused, added thoughtfully, “I had not really realized it until this minute, but I think I am tired of mopping floors. Some of the staff is okay, but your average demon or imp is a real slob. They just do not care about keeping things neat.
“I have accumulated enough gold here. With what I have acquired before, I think I have enough to do my work. So I suppose it is time to move on.” He regarded them somberly. “Crazy I may be, but I still like my sleep. It is hard to sleep here, what with all the screaming of the Damned. If I agree to help you, then you must agree to trust me.”
“Trust a crazy man?” Frank murmured.
“You will get out of here only by trusting someone crazy. But if you would prefer to rely on the kindly nature of the lieutenant and his advisors, I will not interfere.”
Alicia clutched at her husband. “Frank, he can help us. Let him.”
“I dunno.” He stared at Burnfingers, who waited patiently. “We might be getting ourselves in deeper than we already are.”
“You will find yourselves in deeper when they send you through the Gates to the First Level. Once past that point, nothing can help you.”
“That lieutenant admitted we don’t belong here. Maybe when they finish checking their records they’ll just let us go.”
Burnfingers nodded thoughtfully. “They might. But if they let you go, then they are going to have to fill out a big stack of special forms. They all hate paperwork. Just stopping you on the highway and bringing you in will tie up half a dozen clerks for a week. Letting you go will mean ten times as much work. I do not remember it ever happening before. I admit that the lieutenant is not bad for a demon, but when he figures out how much extra work he is going to have to authorize to process a release, he may find it better to lose you in the shuffle. Hell is an easy place to lose people. After a week or so down on the Third Level or lower you will none of you be in any condition to think of filing a complaint or anything else. Think hard, friend. Do you really expect to receive justice here?”
“Frank, please, let’s do as he says.” Alicia was pleading with him now. Her daughter joined in.
“Daddy, if he can get us out of this awful place, let him!” She was looking at the door. “I don’t want to have to see that creature again!”
His daughter’s stark terror convinced him. “Okay. We’ll take a chance on you, Begay.”
The big man was pleased. “Good. It has been a while since anyone had to take a chance on me. You really have no other choice. If this is passed on to the higher-ups they will find a way to keep you here. A nice, contented middle-class family like yours would be a coup for the boss here. So if he finds out what’s going on here he’ll have you booted through the Gate and damn any subsequent difficulties.”
“Can you do that trick with the water every time?” Alicia asked hesitantly.
“Those were just minor imps, class-four grade-school bullies. What I did was comparable to swatting a fly.”
“Fire-breathing flies,” Steven whispered to himself.
“A few of your major demonic personages, now, you toss a bucket of water in their direction and they’ll laugh and spit napalm back at you.”
“Then how are you going to get us out of here?” Frank challenged him.
“How did you get in?”
“We’ve got a motor home.” Alicia gestured indecisively behind her. “It’s parked out in front of the station. At least, it was.”
“Don’t worry,” Burnfingers told her. “They won’t bother it. They aren’t interested in machines unless they’re built in their own shops. Parked out front, you say? Since they have not figured out what to do with you yet, I am sure they have not figured out what to do with it. It should be as you left it.” He placed his damp mop in its slot on the bucket cart. “Now, I want you all to follow me.”
Frank put out a hesitant arm, felt it bounce off ribs that felt as if they were sheathed in stainless steel. “How can we do that? Maybe they won’t question your movements, but we’re not staff here. Surely they’ll stop us.”
“They must see us first. Then someone must make a decision. The lower echelons shy from doing that because if they make a wrong one it can get them in trouble. Demons and imps have their own punishments.” He nodded at the door. “My room is not far. There are a very few things I want to take with me. I do not plan on returning to this place. It may be that I am not breaking any rules by helping you, but I do not think it would be healthy for me to remain to find out.”
He cracked the door. The hot air that came pouring in made Frank flinch.
“You folks are lucky,” Burnfingers told them. “They turned up the air-conditioning for you.”
“Air-conditioning?” Alicia whispered, crowding close to her husband. “It must be a hundred and twenty in here.”
“Remember where you are, earth mother. For recreation some of the supervisors here put on winter clothes and go sandskiing in the Danakil Depression.” He opened the door wider, peering out into the hall. “Not a busy day. We’re lucky. Keep close behind me, but act unconcerned. If we should pass anyone, appear resigned to your fate. Show any unease and you will be lost.”
“Has anyone ever escaped from this place before?” Frank asked him.
“It is not common, but there are stories. Some years ago a minor trusty named Adolph tried to organize a big breakout. Only a few of his people made it and they returned here soon after. As punishment he spends Eternity cleaning bathrooms and waiting on tables in the Jewish section of Level Seven.” He continued talking softly and urgently as he opened the door the rest of the way.
“Quickly now, before someone comes to check on you.”
They exited into the stifling corridor and trailed Burnfingers closely. A minor female imp wearing the red-orange uniform of Administration appeared in a side corridor. She barely acknowledged Burnfingers’s existence, gave the family clustered close behind him a disinterested glance, and continued on her way.
Only when she’d turned a corner and vanished behind them did Burnfingers take a moment to explain her indifference.
“There is so much paperwork to keep up with, hardly anyone knows what the demon in the next cubicle is doing, let alone the ones in the next department. Act like you belong out here.” For the second time his gaze locked on Mouse. “You aren’t part of this family, are you?”
“I was hitchhiking. The Sonderbergs were kind enough to offer me a lift. I am on my way to the Vanishing Point to try and regulate the Spinner before it allows the fabric of existence to unravel completely.”
