The inspector nodded. “No one gets close to the security shed itself except authorized personnel. There are separate alarm fields operating twenty-four hours a day both inside and outside the building. There are expensive devices that could mute the fields without setting off the alarm, but they’d have to be brought into the courtyard in order to be proximate enough to work, and the security scanners would pick them up as soon as they went into operation. As you can see, there are alarm systems monitoring the alarm systems.”
“I suppose you also keep a sharp eye out for little old nannies pushing lead-lined baby carriages.”
“We’ve been trying to keep an eye out for everything. Our people as well as yours even undergo periodic, random mental checks to ensure against some kind of theoretical mass hypnosis.”
“I’d like to see the shed close up. I virtualed it back at the home office, but it’s not the same thing.” As they used a bench to step up into the planted area, Manz turned to the trailing mechanical. “Stay here and wait for me, Moses. You’re heavy, and you can’t always pick your way with that trackball. I don’t want you flattening any flowers.”
“I comply.” The humaniform sounded disappointed.
Two meters into the vegetation, a dense webwork of very faint green lines became detectable. They would be invisible to anyone circling the landscaping. An intruder could slip a hand into the laser grid but not much else. He waited while the inspector’s assistant talked briefly on a pocket communicator. The faint lines vanished, and they continued onward. As soon as Manz had passed the threshold of the quiescent barrier, the system was reenergized. From behind, it resembled a network of ghost vines pulsing softly in the filtered light that poured through the dome.
With the Minder hanging close, Manz followed Hafas and his assistant down a short, paved pathway until they were standing within a meter of the security shed.
The structure itself was nondescript. It had been painted in varying shades of brown and green to blend as harmoniously as possible with the surrounding vegetation.
“You’ll notice,” the inspector was saying, “that the building itself stands on four small pillars stained to resemble tree trunks. Even if anyone could burrow silently up through the ground and approach the shed from that direction, they’d still have to expose themselves before they could try boring into the floor of the shed. There’s only one entrance, and it’s just wide enough to admit one person at a time.”
Bending low allowed Manz to see completely under the shed. There was no sign that the underside of the floor or the mossy dirt beneath had been disturbed recently.
“Ever turn off that alarm grid? For maintenance, maybe?”
Hafas shook his head. “Don’t have to. It’s thrice backed up, and each backup has its own independent power source. The grid runs through the ground as well.”
“What about overhead?”
“The dome?” The inspector glanced upward. “Has its own separate grid. Tinted blue so you can’t see it during the day. The only time the grid comes down is when a package is being stored or removed, or when the gardeners are at work. Everyone who goes in or out is kept under constant, at-hand surveillance. That goes equally for a company president who might want to check on his goods or some local landscaper with manure to spread. Any mechanicals in attendance are treated with the same care and attention as their human associates.” He gestured at the modest structure.
“The shed itself is double-walled, roofed, and floored, with separate and independent alarm systems operating in the air spaces between. Minicams mounted inside keep a constant watch on the interior. The setup is small but secure. Or so everyone thought until these jackings began.”
“We thought so too.” Manz plucked a leaf from a nearby plant and chewed reflexively. Hafas reached out to restrain him.
“I wouldn’t do that. Some of these plants have spines. Others might be toxic if ingested.”
Manz hastily chucked the slightly gnawed leaf. “The single door is the only way in?”
Hafas nodded. “Not only that, but this whole courtyard is climate-controlled, and any atmosphere-sensitive packages come with their own internal systems. That’s necessary because as soon as a shipment is placed within the shed, the air inside is vacuumed. In addition to everything else, any thief who managed to somehow hide inside when the building was sealed would have to carry his own oxygen supply with him.
“I’m told that among this landscaping are a number of plants particularly sensitive to any variations in the atmosphere. Their health is monitored daily. It’s just one more way of detecting something like an induced gas.”
Manz drew a tiny circle in the dirt, choosing one of the few places free of lush green growth. “I didn’t expect to find any holes in the setup, but you always hope.”
Hafas looked sympathetic. “I wish it were that easy. I wish there was something we or your own security people had overlooked. Anything else you want to see?”
“Yeah. The inside of a bathroom.” He started back down the path.
Moses was waiting where they’d left him. As soon as they’d traversed the alarm web, he trundled forward.
“Gentlemen, I have been devoting my considerable resources to the problem at hand and I believe I have reached a conclusion.”
No! Don’t embarrass me in front of strange humans.
“You don’t say,” Manz murmured.
Hafas looked surprised, then puzzled when he noticed that the visiting adjuster seemed anything but excited by this promised revelation.
Designed to gesture as he spoke, Moses made full use of his programming to emphasize his points with swings of all four flexible limbs.
“The structure under examination is theft-proof. Therefore, thefts cannot have take place here. However, it has been proven beyond argument that thefts have occurred here. This is a blatant contradiction and a logical impossibility.
“Given these conditions, I wish to make it known beforehand that my assistance will be of limited value.”
“I’ve never thought it otherwise.” Manz turned to Hafas. “You see before you, Inspector, the end product of several hundred years of robotic refinement: not only is it self-repairing and self-motivating, it also comes with built-in excuses.”
Its intuition programming is primitive, monkey-breath. By venting such announcements, it is only responding to the way it was designed. You expect too much of one simple device.
Manz was staring sideways at his Minder. “What have you got to say about all this?”
“Insufficient evidence presented thus far on which to base any conclusions.”
“That’s better.” Manz turned back to Hafas. “See, this one isn’t as freely interactive, and it isn’t burdened with multiple functions. For one thing, it has no limbs. It just floats around and thinks, until you need a serious second opinion. Or a fact. It’s good with facts.”
How would you know? Being a human, you haven't the vaguest notion how to ask the right questions.
As for you, what are you smiling at? You’re no brighter than Manz. Probably considerably less so. I suppose you think you’ve already figured out how the jackings are taking place, haven’t you? If you're right, it only proves you have access to outside sources, and if you're wrong, you’re going to feel truly dumb.
If you were really smart and knew how to make proper use of your time, you wouldn’t be listening to me now, would you? Listening to a simple cybernetic cortex berating you for faults you’re already intimately aware of. But that’s being human for you. You’re all gluttons for mental punishment.
Later, when I have more time, we’ll talk about how you were mistreated as a child, and how unfair the world’s been to you ever since. Being a machine, I can give you an unbiased opinion. But that means you’ll have to open up to me, and you won’t do that. Humans never do. Every human has a part of itself stamped Access Denied
