‘I was a bit worried, of course,’ she continues. ‘Seeing Amber talking with an older boy, hanging on his every word, obviously smitten. But I asked around – that’s how I found out his name – and people said he was harmless back then. Bark worse than his bite. I’m pretty sure that’s changed now, sadly.’ She tilts her head. ‘Anyway, I knew it wasn’t ideal, but as I said, Amber didn’t have many friends, and I didn’t want to be too narrow-minded about what a good one looked like.’ She sighs. ‘And then his mum got sick, and soon after that, he got punched by his teacher. Poor kid. I imagine he was difficult to teach, but there’s still no excuse.’
I fix on a smile. She says it like it’s a fact. ‘Didn’t Jess admit that she lied about seeing that?’ I ask, my voice stilted. ‘The case was dropped, I think?’
‘It was, yes,’ Lou agrees. ‘And if you didn’t know Jess, you might be suspicious, with her knowing Sean through Amber. But I don’t think she was lying about seeing the assault. Jess would have found it incredibly difficult to talk to the head teacher, and then the police. And you can times that by a hundred if her story was also a lie. Even if they were good friends, which they weren’t, I can’t see her going to those lengths for him.’
I grip the soft velour of the sofa arm and pull in a silent breath. I need to get this conversation back on track. After all, she still hasn’t explained why Jess might have gone to Sean’s. ‘But if it was Amber who was friends with Sean, why do you think Jess might be hiding out there now?’
Her expression becomes embarrassed. ‘Look, I’m probably wrong. But Amber idolised Sean. And for whatever reason, he had a lot of time for her too. Jess and Sean have Amber in common, and now she’s gone. Suddenly and brutally. It happens, doesn’t it? People coming together through shared grief?’
I blink. Jess hiding out with Sean Russo seems crazy – the boy considered so dangerous by Colleen and her team that Amber and Jess were taken away from their home – but Lou’s exactly right, it does happen. I find myself hoping that she and Justin do decide to foster again, so that more children can benefit from her thoughtfulness and humanity.
‘Do you know where Sean lives?’ I ask.
‘Blackbird Leys somewhere. At least he did, and I suppose he’s still there. I heard his mum died recently. She had cancer, must have only been mid-forties, poor woman. But I don’t suppose the council would have thrown Sean out yet. His mum used to work at the girls’ school actually, as a cleaner, so they knew her a bit. I remember someone organising a collection when she had her first op.’ Lou gives me a sad smile. ‘Anyway, I don’t know the address, but I suggest you check with your colleagues at the police. I reckon they’ll have his details on file.’
THE NIGHT SHE DIES
Friday 3rd May
Jess
She thought she’d be scared. Fuck, she should be scared, alone at this time, on the remote trail up to the Ridgeway. Only the stars and moon for light. But there’s another harder emotion rising to the surface.
Is it determination to fight back this time? To find Amber and, together, stand up to Sean?
Or is it anger at her sister?
Because it’s Amber’s fault that Sean is on his way to Chinnor, wanting their blood. But so far, it’s only Jess he’s tracked down.
There’s also the Lucy factor. She clearly knows something, something big enough to put a scared little mouse like her on the attack. Could it be about Jess being the anonymous witness in her dad’s case? And if Lucy does know, how dare Amber keep that information from her?
Except that’s Amber all over. Only confiding in Jess when it’s good for her. Like sorting their move to Chinnor. Amber came up with this big master plan to punish Mr Rose and get Sean to like her again, and didn’t even tell Jess until she needed her help.
And like tonight. She’s still only guessing that Amber is at the nature reserve – because she hasn’t returned any of Jess’s messages.
Jess reaches the Ridgeway and takes a left. It’s even darker here, surrounded by trees, and a sharp fingernail of apprehension scratches at her neck. She pauses, flicks the torch on her phone. The path jumps out, but her peripheral vision disappears into total blackness. Instantly she feels watched. There’s a broken branch on the pathway, thick and heavy, with its bark completely stripped away, yellowy white under the torch’s glare. She reaches for it, curls her fingers around the smooth wood, and pulls it into her chest, grateful for the sense of protection it gives her. Then she takes a breath and turns her phone off again – she doesn’t want to announce her arrival too early – and sets off.
She shouldn’t really be scared here, she tells herself as she walks deeper into the woods. Scared is walking through Blackbird Leys at night, its dim lights throwing shadows around every corner, knowing that Sean hates her for what she’s done – or more accurately, can’t do. Chinnor was supposed to be their escape from him, until Amber screwed that up. But Sean is a city boy. Thick woodland and muddy trails feel like the best protection from him.
Ten minutes later, she pauses. Hears voices. She guessed right – Amber is here, and Caden too. Maybe she invited him to protect her from Sean. Or maybe she was only pretending to go off him, to create some drama. Suddenly that feels more likely, and the thought fills Jess with rage. Amber playing with people’s feelings purely to relieve her own boredom.
Their voices whisper through the trees. Jess crouches down on the compacted mud to steady her breathing. The volume of their conversation is too low for Jess to make out what they’re saying, but there’s a general hum of contentment. A giggle wafting over every now and then. The sound pulls at her chest – causes actual physical pain – but she needs to ride it out.
Because she needs to warn Amber about Sean.
Being sisters might mean nothing to Amber, but she refuses to sink that low.
And for all Amber’s faults, Jess knows that she still owes her. For refusing to go through with the court case, and everything that came after.
But the problem is, she can’t move. Can’t push her way through the final few trees and announce her arrival. Can’t interrupt the lovebirds. She needs Caden to leave first, because the thought of looking at the two of them, draped over each other, and pretending it doesn’t bother her is too much.
Impossible.
When Jess saw Caden by the memorial statue in Thame, her first thought was that Amber had done it on purpose. Snatched the one guy that Jess had been on her way to falling in love with: Caden Carter. The boy she’d met by the lakes when Amber was out with Sean that Sunday. The completely gorgeous almost-man she’d struck up conversation with, and then had dared to believe might become her boyfriend one day – until he broke it off with barely any explanation. But Jess had kept Caden and Amber a secret from each other, so it can’t be that Amber stole him. It was just one of those terrible coincidences. A boy who’s attracted to damaged goods falling for two samples from the same batch.
But that was before his message this evening. Caden asked to meet up with Jess knowing full well that she was his girlfriend’s sister. It doesn’t matter that she said yes, or that Caden changed his mind before anything happened. He showed what a cheating prick he is, and Amber deserves to know.
Especially as it’s the fastest way to get him out of the way.
Jess creeps a bit closer. She can see them now. Or at least slivers of them through the slim gaps in the trees. They’re lying next to each other on something dark – not a blanket, but maybe a jumper. Caden’s, probably. Amber’s phone is lying close to her fingertips on the grass. She might not be responding to Jess’s snaps, but she’s clearly reachable. Maybe an old-fashioned text message will grab her attention.
Still sitting on her haunches, Jess scrolls to her photos, and looks at the last one she took. A screen grab of her Snapchat conversation with Caden. She edits it guiltily, making sure Caden’s Snapchat tag is visible at the top, but her own messages are cut out, then reads the words. Was supposed to be at a party tonight but can’t face it. Want to meet up? Without giving herself the chance to change her mind, she taps out a text message to her sister – he doesn’t deserve you – and launches the photo into cyberspace.
She peers through the trees.
Amber’s phone screen lights up, sending an eerie glow across the grass. Jess prays for her sister to pick it up. And it works because a moment later, there’s movement. Amber’s arm extending, grabbing the device, then her torso curling and rising into a sitting position.
Panic suddenly floods Jess’s insides. What has she done? Why is she causing another argument when they already have Sean to worry about, and Lucy too? How can she be so stupid?
Jess watches Amber turn to face Caden, a slow-motion movement, weighed down by shock. Disgust. She dips down onto her hands and knees, creeps forward. Close enough to hear their conversation.
‘What the fuck is this?’ Amber hisses, her voice low but venomous.
Caden sits up. ‘What?’ he throws back, instantly aggro.
Jess tilts back onto her feet, curls her hands into fists.
‘Did you ask to meet up with my sister tonight?’
‘Huh?’ A stalling tactic. Fear creeping into his tone.
‘How could you?’ Amber cries out, the sound echoing off the heavy branches.
Jess sucks in a breath, listens to it judder out of her. Her feelings for Amber are so complicated. She can despise her at times, but she also hates hearing her upset. It always reminds Jess of their mum, her saying sorry to Tyler on a loop as he screamed at her.
‘It was a mistake, babe,’ Caden says, changing tack again. ‘A moment of madness. You were airing me. I got thrown out of that eighteenth party by Ava’s Nazi dad, then out of The Crown. I sent Jess a message on some weird impulse, but I straight off regretted it, and told her that.’
‘But my sister?’ Amber says incredulously.
Caden’s response is quieter, so Jess has to strain to hear it. ‘Babe, it’s not like it’s that shocking, is it? You know I was with her first.’
Jess blinks, swallows a whimper, sinks onto her backside.
Amber knew?
‘But that was before we got together,’ Amber wails. ‘How could you even think about going back to her when you have me? I’m much prettier than her. That’s what you said.’
Jess bites her lip. Tastes blood. She and Amber only have each other. It’s been that way for what feels like a lifetime. Yes, Amber bosses her around, takes the piss out of her, puts her down. But loads of sisters do that.
