The door opens a few inches; the chain stretched to its limit. ‘Yes?’ a woman’s voice says. ‘Can I help you?’
‘Um, hi,’ I start, hovering on the paving slab outside the Trapnells’ house. I know that my credentials are my ticket inside. ‘I work with Colleen in Children’s Services. I was hoping …’
‘Oh God, hold on,’ the woman interrupts. The door slams shut, then opens fully, the newly freed chain swaying against the frame. She looks distraught; doesn’t ask for my ID. Of course the police will have already been here, told her that Jess is missing.
‘Have you found her?’ she asks. ‘Please tell me that you have, and that she’s safe. I couldn’t bear it if, you know, after what happened to Amber.’
‘I’m so sorry,’ I start. ‘We don’t have any news yet. But could I possibly come in? Colleen thought it would be a good idea if we had a chat, just talked through any possible places that Jess might have gone to.’
‘I’ve been racking my brains …’
‘Please?’ I press.
Her head jerks up as she realises that she’s being rude, leaving me on the doorstep. ‘Yes of course, I’m sorry; I’m not thinking straight.’ She takes a step back and I walk inside. It’s a small hallway with stairs to one side and a mirror on the other, which I avoid looking into. No sign of any children though. They must have decided to take a break from fostering.
‘Come through,’ she murmurs. ‘Justin had to go into work early this morning, so it’s just me.’
She doesn’t offer me a drink, and I’m grateful. My hands are shaking too much to lift a glass or mug. I perch on the edge of the sofa that she gestures towards. ‘I’m not sure how much Colleen has told you,’ I start. ‘But we’re hopeful that Jess left of her own accord, rather than the alternative.’ I’m spinning this narrative to focus Lou on possible destinations, but it also reminds me that it could be true. Matt could still be innocent in all of this.
But Lou’s face falls rather than brightens. ‘I’m not sure that’s good news,’ she says, her voice cracking.
I tilt my head. ‘How do you mean?’
‘When Colleen told me Jess was missing, right before the police turned up, my first thought was that she’d done something terrible to herself. She and Amber were so close, and Jess relied on her sister for everything. Jess was vulnerable too, especially when she was under stress. I suppose you know about the anorexia?’
I nod dumbly as my mind tries to tally the eating disorder with the Jess I saw in the Co-op. Lean yes, but tall and intimidating.
‘I knew how much Jess would have been struggling after Amber’s murder, especially with their mum dying in a similar way,’ Lou continues. ‘But Colleen was adamant that Jess wasn’t suicidal, that if anything, she’d gone the other way. Angry rather than broken. Like she’d taken on some of Amber’s fight.’
That’s how Colleen described it to me too. And there’s the message Jess sent to Lucy. The video. The demand for money. ‘From what I’ve seen of Jess since Amber’s death, I agree with Colleen,’ I say truthfully. ‘I really don’t think Jess was in the headspace to harm herself.’
Lou’s shoulders visibly drop with relief, and she even manages a small smile. ‘Thank you.’
‘But we still need to find her,’ I remind Lou gently. ‘Can you think of anyone around here that she might have gone to for help? A good friend from when she was younger maybe? Someone she had regular playdates with?’
‘No, nothing like that. Jess was shy. She didn’t seem to want – or need – many friends. She just wanted to be with Amber. That’s why I’ve been so worried since Amber’s death. I’ve tried to call Jess. Loads of times. But she never picks up.’
I think about the girl I saw that lunchtime. The range of painful emotions visible on her face. Perhaps it’s not surprising that she has avoided the woman who cared for her for five years. ‘And was Amber the same?’ I ask. ‘Was it always just the two of them?’
‘Amber was much more outgoing than Jess; you’d never call that girl shy.’ She gives me a sad smile then looks away. ‘But actually, she didn’t really have any close friends either. Both girls were defined by their start in life, sadly. Wary of others who might want to label them as victims – or worse. But while Jess reacted by staying in the shadows, Amber came out fighting – like she was constantly daring people to feel sorry for her. But she’d either fail and hate them for it, or make enemies through her own bad behaviour. So in a different way, she relied on Jess too.’
‘What about other family?’ I ask, desperate for some breadcrumbs to follow, even though I know the police will have already covered this ground. ‘Jess’s dad has been contacted, but was she in touch with anyone else? Grandparents? Aunts? Cousins?’
‘No, no one,’ Lou says, shrugging her shoulders. ‘Jacqui – that’s the girls’ mum – had two brothers. But the whole family disowned her when she was still a teenager, and then when she died, they wanted nothing to do with her daughters – that’s why the girls ended up in care in the first place. I’m not sure whether there are relatives on her dad’s side, but Jess was barely in touch with him, and she never mentioned anyone else to me.’
‘And there’s really nowhere else you can think of?’ I lean forward, plead with my eyes.
‘Well, there is Sean Russo,’ Lou murmurs.
‘But isn’t he the reason the girls left Oxford?’
‘I never supported that decision,’ she mutters. ‘After the initial shock of his threatening behaviour wore off, it felt like a sledgehammer to crack a nut. Yes, he was angry with Jess, and a risk in the short term, but I’m sure it would have faded over time. He’d started hanging around with a new crowd, not nice people granted, but older. With bigger fish to fry than hassling teenage girls.’
‘And you think they’d become friends again?’ I ask, trying to work out why she mentioned his name. ‘Sean and Jess?’
Lou shakes her head. ‘Oh no, that’s not what I meant at all. He was only ever Amber’s friend even when they lived here. Not that she introduced him to me,’ she adds. ‘But I was curious to know who they hung out with in the park, so I’d wander past sometimes, by accident on purpose, you know.’ She gives me a sheepish half-smile.
I smile back, an approval of her sleuthing, then look at her expectantly, hoping she’ll share more detail. It works.
‘I was a bit worried, of course,’ she continues. ‘Seeing Amber talking with an older boy, hanging on his every word, obviously smitten. But I asked around – that’s how I found out his name – and people said he was harmless back then. Bark worse than his bite. I’m pretty sure that’s changed now, sadly.’ She tilts her head. ‘Anyway, I knew it wasn’t ideal, but as I said, Amber didn’t have many friends, and I didn’t want to be too narrow-minded about what a good one looked like.’ She sighs. ‘And then his mum got sick, and soon after that, he got punched by his teacher. Poor kid. I imagine he was difficult to teach, but there’s still no excuse.’
I fix on a smile. She says it like it’s a fact. ‘Didn’t Jess admit that she lied about seeing that?’ I ask, my voice stilted. ‘The case was dropped, I think?’
‘It was, yes,’ Lou agrees. ‘And if you didn’t know Jess, you might be suspicious, with her knowing Sean through Amber. But I don’t think she was lying about seeing the assault. Jess would have found it incredibly difficult to talk to the head teacher, and then the police. And you can times that by a hundred if her story was also a lie. Even if they were good friends, which they weren’t, I can’t see her going to those lengths for him.’
I grip the soft velour of the sofa arm and pull in a silent breath. I need to get this conversation back on track. After all, she still hasn’t explained why Jess might have gone to Sean’s. ‘But if it was Amber who was friends with Sean, why do you think Jess might be hiding out there now?’
Her expression becomes embarrassed. ‘Look, I’m probably wrong. But Amber idolised Sean. And for whatever reason, he had a lot of time for her too. Jess and Sean have Amber in common, and now she’s gone. Suddenly and brutally. It happens, doesn’t it? People coming together through shared grief?’
I blink. Jess hiding out with Sean Russo seems crazy – the boy considered so dangerous by Colleen and her team that Amber and Jess were taken away from their home – but Lou’s exactly right, it does happen. I find myself hoping that she and Justin do decide to foster again, so that more children can benefit from her thoughtfulness and humanity.
‘Do you know where Sean lives?’ I ask.
‘Blackbird Leys somewhere. At least he did, and I suppose he’s still there. I heard his mum died recently. She had cancer, must have only been mid-forties, poor woman. But I don’t suppose the council would have thrown Sean out yet. His mum used to work at the girls’ school actually, as a cleaner, so they knew her a bit. I remember someone organising a collection when she had her first op.’ Lou gives me a sad smile. ‘Anyway, I don’t know the address, but I suggest you check with your colleagues at the police. I reckon they’ll have his details on file.’
THE NIGHT SHE DIES
Friday 3rd May
