‘I didn’t do anything.’

‘I can see that,’ Twa laughed, his eyes moving down to Roeloff’s groin. ‘But you were going to.’

‘What’s the matter with my father?’

‘You’re reminding him he’s getting old.’

Roeloff squatted at the small fire, rubbing his hands in front of him.

‘I don’t know what happened in there. It just happened.’

‘It’s like that the first time. I was younger than you when the fever came over me. I remember the girl. She was from the Ein-qua, the people of the river. Your feelings run off with you, you think with your stick. But it’s good, hai?’ he cackled.

‘Tell me the story.’

‘Not tonight. Go in there, Kudu, and sleep. You are tired. I’ll stay here by the fire.’

Zokho’s fate was much worse. Embarrassed by the girl’s behaviour although she knew sexual play was not uncommon among the Koi-na children, Sanna took a stick to Zokho when Willem Kloot told her what had happened, and forbade her to speak to Roeloff. Not only had she left behind her dress and caused trouble with the grootbaas, she had fancied herself the kleinbaas’ equal, and shamed all of them.

‘You’re so bad, Zokho,’ Sanna’s breasts heaved with her guilt at beating the girl, ‘I don’t know what to do with you. You want to be kicked off the farm? Don’t you have food in your belly, you stupid girl? Is the grootbaas not looking after you that you have to go sniffing after his son?’

Sanna didn’t have to worry about Roeloff. Torn between feelings he didn’t understand and what he’d done, Roeloff felt he’d committed a terrible sin. He’d set himself upon a girl, and one not like himself. He vowed to God that he would never do it again. The next day he went out at dawn with the sheep to avoid running into the family in the yard, and stayed out with Twa until dark. When he returned, he saw Zokho with the Koi-na near the stream. They had made a fire and were dancing around it. Was it full moon already? His father allowed them the big fire for that. He walked the other way to reach Twa’s hut, thankful that no one was there.

The following morning he came out of Twa’s hut, surprised to see his grandfather waiting outside.

‘Oupa …’

‘Here,’ Harman Kloot handed him a chunk of warm bread just out of the oven. ‘You staying with Twa?’

‘Yes.’

His grandfather looked around the yard, still empty of people at this early hour, and reached for his pipe in his jacket pocket.

Lighting the pipe was almost a ritual. His grandfather wouldn’t talk until he had tamped down the tobacco, lit the pipe, and inhaled. Roeloff felt the need to say something.

‘I didn’t mean to do anything bad with Zokho.’

Harman Kloot brushed aside the explanation.

‘It’s done. You can’t undo it.’

‘I just … touched her.’

Harman Kloot sucked on his pipe, letting out small bursts of smoke. There was a look of amusement in his eyes.

‘You just touched her?’

‘Yes. I … she … I didn’t do anything wrong.’

‘Not yet.’

Roeloff felt the heat rise to his face.

‘I wouldn’t do such a thing, Oupa.’

Harman Kloot smiled.

‘You can make a river run backwards? Don’t make too much of it. These things happen when you’re young. Even when you’re older. Don’t put yourself in the way of it.’

‘You’re not angry with me?’

‘Angry?’ Harman Kloot laughed, coughing at the same time. ‘You’re not the first one to do it. Won’t be the last.’

Roeloff waited for him to stop coughing.

‘Your cough’s getting worse, Oupa. Maybe it’s that pipe. Sanna said she was going to give you something—did she?’

‘Sanna’s too busy boxing Zokho’s ears.’ He paused for a moment to catch his breath. ‘We miss you. Are you eating?’

‘Twa roasted a tortoise last night.’

‘A tortoise?’ Oupa Harman made a face. ‘You must come back, or you’ll end up like him scouring for food in the dust.’

‘Pa told me not to come into the house.’

‘He didn’t mean it. You know your father. He thinks with his fists. Afterwards he’s sorry.’

‘He wasn’t sorry about killing the Sonqua.’

‘That’s different. If you stay out here too long, it’ll make it harder to come back. Just come in tonight and say nothing.’

‘I can’t.’

‘You mean you won’t. You may look like your mother, but you’re stubborn like him.’

‘When David makes mistakes, Pa doesn’t go on like that. But he hits me. For any little thing.’

‘Maybe your father doesn’t know the things David does.’

‘Some things, Oupa, he does. Sometimes I think Pa’s afraid to tell him anything.’

‘Your father’s not afraid of anyone.’

‘He listens to Oom Jan.’

‘Well, Oom Jan, that’s a different story. Oom Jan’s the devil’s disciple, there’s no salve for him. You don’t have to agree with everything Oom Jan does, but it’s good to know someone like him when you’re out here alone. Oom Jan has his usefulness. Don’t think your Pa doesn’t know that. And don’t think he agrees with all that Oom Jan does.’

Roeloff listened some more, but didn’t do as his grandfather asked. After a few claustrophobic nights in Twa’s hut, he had grown used to the cold and the smell of smoke clinging to his hair and clothes.