“My own fucking kid can’t even appreciate all the hard work I put in. You’ve gotta go and beg your coach for a new fancy bat? You suck his cock to get this, boy?”

“Dad, no. I didn’t do anything. I swear.” At fourteen, I was catching up to my dad in size, but he was still larger, especially in the darkened room where I cowered like a five-year-old against my headboard.

“Don’t lie to me, boy. I bet you told that old man that I refused to buy it for ya, huh? I bet you told him how horrible of a father I am. Well, you know what? I’m gonna show you how horrible I can really be.”

The first smack of the bat landed on my thigh. The next, my ribs. Then everything went black just as I heard my mother scream my name.

“Owen. Owen.” My name was a distant cry melded with an earthquake-force shake. “Owen, please. It’s Aspen. Please wake up.”

Aspen? My Aspen?

I gasped for air as I pulled myself from the despair and blackness of my dream. No amount of medicine prescribed by the team doctor could rid me of the memories that plagued me when I least expected it. But since being back in Ashfield and sharing a bed with Aspen these last couple of months, I’d been dream-free.

Until today. And I knew exactly why. I was headed back to California on the first flight out of Nashville.

“Sorry, cricket,” I groaned as I reached an arm around her stiff body.

“Are you okay? You scared me. I kept hearing you scream ‘no’ over and over again.” Her lithe body was shaking, and I hated that I caused any sort of fear in her. These were demons I needed to battle. She didn’t need to play a part.

“I’m fine. I promise. Just a dream I have every now and then. Go back to sleep, cricket. It’s the middle of the night.”

My little minx nodded and curled her body against mine. I waited as her breaths evened out before shutting my own eyes.

***

“Do you have everything?” Aspen asked for the tenth time as she loaded my bags into the back of her SUV that she thanked me for no less than four times a day. Sometimes, she used words. Other times, she used her mouth around my cock. I didn’t have a preference on whichever way she wanted to show her gratitude.

“I do. Thank you for letting my mom tag along.” I invited my mom to the airport to send me off, and she arrived with both excitement and sadness. It was in the way she hugged and the way she asked if I was going to be home for Thanksgiving.

Last week, we’d gone together to watch my childhood home be demolished. I thought the process would affect me more than it did. I found myself sad for the good parts of my childhood being lost, but Aspen reminded me that all those good memories were still here. The place didn’t hold them; I did.

My mom had a harder time watching the house crumble to the ground. I wrapped a soothing arm around her shoulders as she cried. We never talked about it, but I wondered if maybe some of those tears were happy one. She was finally ridding herself of that last lingering piece of my father. I’d never ask her though. Just like me, she had her own demons.

After the demolition, Aspen and I went on one final public date in town. We made sure to have Jenna and my friend Chris post it all over their socials when a group of us went to play paintball. An entire outdoor facility had been created since I graduated high school, and I was eager to play. So was Aspen. It was clear she had a lot of aggression to let out, because the woman was lethal with the paintball gun.

We hoped Vanessa got the final message when I posted on my not-frequently-used social media pages. It was a picture of Aspen and me sharing a kiss while covered in various colors of paint from the game, goggles pushed up to rest on top of our heads. I’d finally taken the leap and blocked her number, consequences be damned. So, if she was trying to reach out to me, she was going to have to go through my agent.

“You’re going to be late,” Beverly called out from the open window of the back seat.

“Mom, we still have four hours before my flight takes off. I have plenty of time.”

Mom harrumphed before ducking back inside the running car.

At the Easterly Sunday dinner, I handed Andrew the keys to the McClaren to use while I was gone. It was the first dinner since Nash’s return home, and I would be lying if I said he looked good. The man looked like he’d been to hell and back. I guess, in a sense, he had. But he’d been in good spirits and made me promise to take him for a ride in the exotic car the next time I was in town.

Whenever that would be. Until then, I kept my rental lease open with Rory and asked Alex to stop by periodically to make sure the place was in order. It was on her way to her cake shop.

She had finally started coming around to the thought of me and Aspen being an item, though it was clear she didn’t fully trust me yet. I had a feeling trust didn’t come easily for her. Either way, she made the best damn desserts, and I planned on ordering her pistachio cake at least once a week while I was gone.

“You’re staring off into space again,” Aspen said with a not-so-gentle tap on my shoulder.

“Sorry. Just going through a mental checklist,” I lied.

“Not sure why. You can buy whatever you need when you arrive in LA.”

Stepping forward, I wrapped both my arms around her waist. “Yeah, but I can’t buy a cricket, sooo… there is that.”

“True. But you could get one tattooed on you somewhere.”

“Not the same,” I mumbled as I brushed my lips against hers. As I pulled back, she checked her watch for the third time since we stepped out in the driveway. “Everything all right?”

“Yeah, sorry. I have the wood for the fences on your property arriving today. I’m just anxious to get it started.”

With a quick peck on her nose, I added, “It’s your property, baby. Remember that.”

“All right, Casanova, let’s get you on the road.” Her voice wobbled on the last word, and I knew my leaving was affecting her as much as it was me. I’d tried to pull every favor I could to extend my stay, but my contracts with the team and marketing were iron clad. When they wanted me to do something, I was required to be there if I wanted to keep playing for the salary I earned.

It was too bad that contracts didn’t change when your dreams for the future did.

***

California was exactly like I’d left it. Warm, sunny, and lonely. While I loved the people I met since I started playing for the Coyotes, the city of stars was one of the most isolated places I’d ever visited.

A waiting town car ushered me from the airport to my house, then over to the main offices of the Coyotes. I’d only had enough time to change into one of my tailor-made suits before I was expected to show my face in front of the general manager and the team owners. Per my coach, they both wanted to congratulate me on my previous season.

The minute I threw on the bespoke suit, I missed the jeans and flannels I’d been wearing around Sunny Brook Farms. I’d done my best to help Aspen around the farm—something I found myself enjoying—as she tried to fill her dad’s shoes. But I could see the work was already taking a toll on her. The weight of the farm and fulfilling her family’s legacy was all on her. I couldn’t fathom why no one else seemed to notice the strain she was under. Most of all, her mother and brother.

But I knew it wasn’t my place to speak up. All I could do during that time, and now, was support her and her decision.

On the plane, I thought about how Aspen wanted to travel but had never even been on a flight. My chest ached thinking about all her sacrifices that seemed to go overlooked.

“Welcome back,” my coach said as he waited for me in the lobby of the massive building.

“Thanks.”

“How’d the work go with that therapist? Your arm up to speed?”

“Kelsey did a great job. Seriously. I feel better than when I started last season.”

“Good to hear, kid,” he said with a jovial slap on my back. “Now, it’s the head honchos up in that room,” he added as we boarded the elevator. “I know you’ve been down this route a few times, but remember, they’re in it for the current and potential sponsorships.”

Yeah, I remembered my first meeting when I was twenty and nearly shit my pants while I was speaking with the general manager. He was the one who signed my paychecks, after all. At that time, I didn’t know I still held the power to say no. Now, I knew better, although they could overrule me at any time. It was why I tried to stay on my best behavior.

As Coach and I stepped out of the elevator and into the conference area, I had a sudden fear that the Vanessa issue was causing trouble for me and the team. Sports players relied on more than their stats to draw in new fans. We were also celebrities in our own right and had a certain image to portray. The leaked footage of my ex’s cheating scandals during our relationship could tarnish the appearance I tried to keep up.

As I stepped inside one of the glass-walled rooms, I analyzed the faces of the GM and team owners. They smiled, but it was forced as they congratulated me on a great season. The corners of their eyes didn’t wrinkle in the same way they had in the past.

Just as we collectively sat down, the public relations director, Rebecca, stepped into the room with a stack of papers and a laptop. Quietly and efficiently, she plugged in the device, and an image popped up on the projection screen.