Jay is walking ahead of me now, tension lining his shoulders. There’s a firm quickness to his steps that tells me he’d rather be running ahead with Jordan.

I tap his back, right above the pack he’s carrying. With a start, he turns.

“Want to run ahead? With me?” I say, low and soft.

An odd glaze drifts over his eyes, and I think back to my encounter with Cody at the Met party. I’m going to have to be more careful about my tone if it’s going to affect Jay in a similar way.

“Whatever you want,” he says.

I glance back at Nick, who’s lagging behind Tom and Myrtle. Catherine, McKee, and Bek are even farther back, barely visible.

“Run with us, Nicky,” I call in my sweetest tones.

“Fuck you, darling,” he responds.

“I’ll run with you,” offers George.

“Okay.” He’s Myrtle’s brother, but he seems nice enough. Quiet. Overshadowed, maybe, by his sister’s bombastic personality.

“Fine, I’ll run too,” grumbles Nick. And he shoves by Tom, rockets past me, and bolts ahead, up the path.

Jay makes a low sound, like an excited growl, in his throat. Which is very odd, and I’ve never heard anything like it from him. He’s off like a shot, chasing Nick. George shoots past me next.

I run after them, full out, skipping over the roots and ridges, grabbing the occasional branch to haul myself up the slope faster. I dart off the path through the brush to get past George, and the brambles scratch my bare calves. My thighs are burning, and my lungs are starting to hitch and ache, but it doesn’t matter because I’ll catch up to the other guys if it kills me.

Up ahead, Jay has overtaken Nick. He reaches out for him, claws extended—

Wait, what?

I blink, peering at Jay again. He has passed Nick now, and he’s too far ahead for me to see his fingers clearly. For a second there, I could have sworn he had claws. Which is impossible. Maybe I shouldn’t be running in this heat.

Nick is flagging, and I push myself harder, skidding on the forest litter as I skirt around him. I give him a sassy two-fingered salute and charge ahead, aiming for Jay’s back.

But he’s too fast. How is he that fast when he’s carrying the pack with our water bottles? My muscles are rioting, straining, and my lungs throb with each frantic breath. Sweat courses down my back, drips between my breasts, and films on my forehead.

Spots are dancing in front of my eyes. I need to stop.

Jay glances back and sees that I’m the closest one to him. The approving grin on his face is the only trophy I need, my permission to quit before I pass out. I collapse against a tree, hauling in ragged lungfuls of humid air.

Jay circles back to me, holding out a water bottle. “Nice running, klipspringer.” When he winks at me, my heart does a quivery, ecstatic dance—which in my current state is not a great thing. I might be about to freaking swoon. Except I live in the 2000s, not the 1800s, and I refuse to faint. Just flat out refuse. Won’t happen.

“You okay?” Jay leans in.

I look up at him and say softly, “I think you need to carry me.”

His eyes gloss over for a second, and without another word he scoops me up so fast I nearly drop my water bottle. “Jay!” I hiss at him. “What the hell? I was kidding.”

He strides on, ignoring me, his lean arms locked around my body. The scent of him envelops me, a tingling aroma of sweat and grass and spices, mixed with something masculine and indefinable. Or maybe it’s very definable—pheromones, pure and simple. Can pheromones be smelled? I’m getting even hotter, and more flushed, and very tingly.

Jay obeyed me. Without thought, question, or embarrassment, he obeyed my voice instantly. And now he’s acting grimly purposeful, a ferocious energy rolling off him even though his eyes are oddly distant.

He ducks his head, breathing in slowly, like he’s inhaling my scent. A faint ripple of sound rolls from his throat.

Did he just fucking growl? And did my pussy just quiver at the sound?

I have this breathless fear that we are a few seconds away from him charging into the woods with me, hitching my legs over his hips, and fucking me senseless. And while part of me would love that, I just can’t go there with him. Not yet.

“For goodness’ sake, put me down, Jay,” I gasp again.

He doesn’t.

I wonder…

Taking a deep breath, I switch to that low-pitched, musical tone that had such a weird effect on Cody. I lay my palm against Jay’s cheek. “Jay, stop carrying me.”

Immediately he sets me down.

“God, Jay,” I say in my normal voice. “This is really freaking me out.”

Jay’s eyes clear. “Are you all right?” Then he frowns, as if realizing he’s already asked me that.

“I’m fine.” I peer at him. “Are you?”

“Uh…yeah.” He rubs the back of his neck and rumples his brown hair with his fingers. A few wavy locks cling to his damp forehead.

Nick and George jog past us, their steps heavy with fatigue.

“We…we beat you,” Nick pants. “Screw you both…for suggesting…a run…in this heat.” He slows, arching a brow at our proximity. “Or maybe you should both just screw each other. I’m sure there’s a mossy nook…somewhere around here where you can—”

“Nicky, darling,” I say in my sweetest voice. “Shut up.”

“—hump to your heart’s content. You have my permission, Gatsby. You may ravish my cousin.”

I charge at Nick, and he ducks away, pelting up the path with renewed vigor.

Apparently that tone doesn’t work as well with my cousin as it does on Cody and Jay.

Why?

What am I?

A sickening knot twists tighter and tighter in my gut as we continue the hike. In the middle of that anxiety is a growing certainty, confirmed by other little moments that float to the surface of my memories like ocean debris after a storm.

The summer of junior year, I applied for an internship. During the interview I spoke as persuasively and skillfully as I could, and the guy conducting the evaluation became flushed and told me I got the internship before I’d even finished talking. I knew he wasn’t supposed to announce the recipient yet, and that scared me. I thought he was trying to get me to sleep with him in exchange for the spot. Right away I declined and got out of there.

But now I wonder if that event, like so many other tiny incidents throughout my life, might have a different explanation.

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