“Will I be a great daddy, Max?” asked Brutus nervously.
“Of course you will!” I said. “You’re a wonderful person, Brutus, and any kid would be lucky to have you as their daddy.”
“I would have you as my daddy, Brutus,” said Dooley.
Brutus gave him a strange look. “Okay. That’s good to know.”
Dooley patted him on the back. “Daddy Brutus.”
The big black cat winced. “It’ll take some getting used to.”
Just then, the doors to the examination room opened and Vena appeared, along with Odelia, who was carrying Harriet in her arms. Vena was saying something, and Odelia was listening intently. Harriet not so much. She looked as if she still wasn’t feeling well.
“How are you, sugar biscuit?” asked Brutus solicitously.
“Nauseous,” said Harriet.
“That’s to be expected,” said Dooley. “A lot of pregnant ladies feel nauseous in the first couple of weeks of their pregnancy.”
Harriet produced a tiny burp. “God, I feel awful.”
“What did Vena say?” asked Brutus.
“Is it a boy or a girl?” asked Dooley.
“Neither,” said Harriet. “It’s a bad case of poisoning, and I need to detox for a while. She’s given me some pills that should make me feel better real soon. Though they haven’t kicked in yet, so there’s always hoping they will soon.”
“Poisoning?” asked Brutus. “I don’t understand.”
“What did you expect would happen when I got zapped with bug spray, sparky star? That stuff can’t be good for you.”
“But… I thought Gran said—”
“The lady is nuts, all right? She’s always been certifiable and the older she gets, the worse she seems to get. Vena even told Odelia that maybe she should have her checked out for signs of dementia. I mean, who zaps their cat with bug spray and expects her to become pregnant?”
“Yeah, I guess when you put it like that,” said Brutus doubtfully. He scratched his head. “So… I’m not going to be a daddy?”
“No, you’re not,” said Harriet. “And I just hope this whole bug spray incident hasn’t affected my voice. Cause if it has, there will be hell to pay, I can tell you that right now!” She turned to me. “Give me a song, Max. Quick. Do it now.”
“Um… Total Eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler?”
She nodded. “Give me a minute.” She produced a few more burps, then started belting out Bonnie Tyler’s biggest hit, a classic from the eighties. When we all covered our ears, and so did Vena, she smiled. “Looks like I’ve still got it.”
CHAPTER 28
Now that Odelia had ascertained that Harriet wasn’t pregnant—and also that she would live—she steered her car in the direction of the home of her aunt Charlene and Uncle Alec, not all that far from where we ourselves live. On the drive over, she peppered us with questions in connection to the bug spray that Gran had grand designs for, and when we told her that she planned to use it on women who were having trouble getting pregnant, a sort of mulish look came over her that I didn’t like to see. I had a feeling that very soon now Gran would discover that she wasn’t the only person in the family who was capable of putting her foot down.
She parked her car across the street from Charlene’s house, and we all got out. Harriet was still a little unsteady on her feet, and so Odelia picked her up and carried her over.
“I’m so sorry this happened to you, honey,” said Odelia.
“I’ll be fine,” said Harriet. “At least I can still sing. That’s the most important thing. I haven’t lost my voice.”
Odelia smiled. “I don’t think you will ever lose your voice. That voice of yours is unique.”
“No, but there have been singers who have lost their voice,” Harriet said. “Like Julie Andrews, for instance. And it’s such a pity for she had such an amazing voice.”
“That’s true,” said Odelia. She placed Harriet down for a moment and peered in through the window next to the front door. When Charlene appeared, she waved at her, and the mayor immediately came to open the door.
“Oh, hey, honey,” said Charlene, and kissed her niece on the cheek. “I see you’ve brought your cats. How are they?”
“They’ve been through the wars,” said Odelia. “First that kidnapping last night, and now Gran got it into her head that it would be a good idea to use bug spray on Harriet to get her pregnant.”
Charlene laughed an incredulous laugh. “You’re kidding.”
“I’m not,” Odelia assured her. “I didn’t catch her in time, or I would have stopped her, of course. But I’ve just been to see Vena, and she thinks she’ll be fine. Just a mild case of poisoning, but nothing that will have any lasting effect. Can I come in?”
“Oh, I’m so sorry!” said Charlene and stepped aside to let us all in. On the couch, we saw Rogelio reading a magazine. He looked up when he saw us and smiled. “Oh, hi there. So we meet again.”
“I’m sorry to bother you again, Mr. Hartshorn,” said Odelia. “But I wanted to ask you a few more questions, if I may.”
“Absolutely,” he said. “So have you found those men who shot at me?”
“No, they got away, I’m afraid,” she said. “But at least now we know who they are, even if we don’t know who hired them to try and kill you.”
“It’s still inconceivable to me that someone out there would want me dead,” he said. “I mean, this is definitely a first for any estate lawyer, I would say. This isn’t the kind of profession parents warn their kids about. More like they’re over the moon when you tell them you want to be a lawyer. Great job security, financial benefits—and you may get shot at repeatedly by a couple of gangsters.”
