“No, she would choose me!”
“She would choose neither of you,” said Odelia, settling the matter. “Because she’s already married, remember?”
“Oh,” said Johnny. “I forgot about that.”
“Why did you try to shoot Rogelio Hartshorn?” asked Odelia, figuring that now that the men were in such a talkative mood she might as well ask the question.
Johnny shrugged. “Who’s Rogelio Hartshorn?”
“The man you tried to shoot yesterday.”
“Oh, that guy. I didn’t even know his name was Rogelio Hartshorn.”
“I knew,” said Jerry.
“That’s because you’re in charge of admin, Jer,” Johnny reminded him.
“Can I lower my arms now?” asked Jerry. “They’re getting tired.”
“No, keep them up,” said Odelia.
“What was the question again?”
“Why did you try to shoot Mr. Hartshorn?”
“Because it’s our job?”
“A well-paying job, too,” said Johnny.
“Yeah, a very well-paying job,” said Jerry.
“Only we haven’t been paid yet, have we, Jer?”
“That’s because he’s still alive, you doofus. And if you hadn’t missed—twice!—we would have been paid by now.”
“Who’s paying you to shoot him?” asked Odelia.
Johnny shrugged and turned to his friend. “Who hired us, Jer?”
“No idea,” said Jerry. “Can I lower my arms now?”
“No!” said Odelia. “What do you mean you don’t know who’s paying you?”
“I never met the guy, did I?” said Jerry in an apologetic tone.
“That’s the internet for you, Odelia,” Johnny explained. “It’s all done online and you don’t get to meet people anymore. I liked it much more in the old days when you got to know your clients. Sit down with them, you know. This internet business…” He made a face. “Very impersonal, if you know what I mean. Takes a lot of the fun out of the whole thing.”
“So, someone contacted you online and hired you to kill Rogelio?” asked Odelia.
“Yeah, something like that,” said Jerry. “Can I lower my arms now?”
“No! Who contacted you?”
“What was the guy’s name, Jer?” asked Johnny.
“No idea. Something with a V and an M, I think.”
“Vladimir?” Johnny suggested.
“I’d have to check my phone. Can I—”
“No!”
Just then, Chase and some of his officers came hurrying into the backyard and quickly and efficiently placed both men under arrest. “Thanks, detective,” said Jerry as he cast a dirty look at Odelia. “And can you tell your wife that she shouldn’t yell at us like that?”
“Especially after we invited her to dinner?” Johnny added.
“It’s not very nice,” said Jerry.
“Not very sociable. Especially considering we’ve known each other for years.”
“And her mother is such a good friend of ours,” Jerry added.
“I still think she would marry me,” said Jerry as both men were being led away.
“And I’m telling you she would marry me,” said Johnny.
“She likes me best.”
