She managed to curb her feelings of excitement and fear. She remained silent, hoping to hear something else, but there was only the noise from the street, a television some way off, and the om-nipresent sound of the world. She tried to sit in the same position as before, to think the same things as before. Everything had happened so fast that she hadn’t even felt frightened or surprised or proud.
But the Voice had said something. Even if everyone in the world were to prove to her that it was all just a product of her imagination, even if the witch hunts were to return and she had to stand up in court and risk being burned to death, she was utterly sure that she’d heard a voice that was not her own.
“What is outside is more difficult to change than what is inside.” The Voice could perhaps have said something a little more earth shattering, given that this was the first time in her current incarnation that she was hearing it, but suddenly Brida was filled by an intense feeling of joy. She wanted to phone Lorens, to go
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and see the Magus, to tell Wicca that her Gift had finally been revealed, and that she could now become part of the Tradition of the Moon. She paced the room, smoked a few cigarettes, and only half an hour later did she feel calm enough to sit down again on the bed, along with all her clothes.
The Voice was right. Brida had surrendered her soul to a strange woman and—odd though it might seem—it was far easier to surrender her soul than her way of dressing.
Only now was she beginning to understand how much those apparently meaningless exercises were influencing her life. Only now, when she was considering changing on the outside, could she realize how much she had changed inside.
When they met again, Wicca wanted to know all about the Voice and was pleased that Brida had noted down every detail in her Book of Shadows.
“Whose Voice is it?” asked Brida.
Wicca, however, had more important things to do and say than answer Brida’s eternal questions.
“So far, I’ve shown you how to return to the path that your soul traveled several incarnations ago. I awoke that knowledge by speaking directly to it—with my soul—through the symbols and rituals of our forebears. You might have grumbled a bit about it, but your soul was glad because it was reestablishing contact with
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its mission. While you were getting irritated with all the exercises you had to do, feeling bored with the dancing and having to fight off sleep during rituals, your hidden side was once more drinking in the wisdom of Time, remembering what it had learned before, and as it says in the Bible, the seed was growing and sprouting, although you knew not how. Then came the moment to start to learn new things. That is called Initiation, because that is where you will truly start to learn the things you need to learn in this life. The Voice indicates that you are ready.
“In the Tradition of the witches, an Initiation always takes place at the time of the Equinox, on the two days of the year when the days and the nights are equal in length. The next one is the Spring Equinox, on the twenty-first of March. I would like that to be the date of your Initiation because I, too, was initiated at the Spring Equinox. You know how to use the ritual instruments and you know all the rituals that keep open the bridge between the visible and the invisible. Whenever you perform one of those rituals, your soul recalls the lessons it learned in past lives.
“When you heard the Voice, you brought into the visible world something that was happening in the invisible world. In other words, you realized that your soul was ready for the next step. You have achieved your first major objective.”
It occurred to Brida that her original desire had been to see the point of light that would indicate her Soul Mate, but she had been thinking a lot lately about the search for love, and that first desire was now dwindling in importance with each week that passed.
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“There is just one test you must pass before you can be accepted for the Spring Initiation. If you fail, don’t worry, you have many Equinoxes ahead of you, and one day you will be initiated. Up until now, you have dealt only with your masculine side: knowledge. You know certain things and are capable of understanding what you know, but you haven’t yet touched on the one great feminine force, one of the great transformational powers.
And knowledge without transformation is not wisdom.
“This force has always been an accursed Power among witches in general and women in particular. It is a force known to everyone on this planet. We women know that we are the great guardians of its secrets. Because of this force we are doomed to wander a dangerous, hostile world, because we were the ones who awoke it and because there have been places where it was considered an abomi-nation. Anyone who comes into contact with this force, however unknowingly, is bound to it for the rest of their life. It can be your master or your slave; you can transform it into a magical force or use it all your life without ever realizing its immense power. This force is in everything around us, it’s in the visible world of ordinary people, and in the invisible world of the mystics. It can be killed, crushed, hidden, even denied. It can lie dormant for years, forgotten in a corner somewhere; we can treat it in whichever way we want, but once someone has experienced this force, he or she will never be able to forget it.”
“What force is that?”
“Don’t keep asking stupid questions,” retorted Wicca. “You know perfectly well what that force is.”
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Yes, Brida knew.
Sex.
Wicca drew aside one of the immaculately white curtains and showed Brida the view. The window looked out on the river, on old buildings, on distant hills. The Magus lived somewhere over there.
“What’s that?” asked Wicca, pointing at the top of a church steeple.
“A cross. The symbol of Christianity.”
“A Roman would never enter a building with a cross on it. He would think it was a house of torture, because the cross represents one of the cruellest instruments of torture ever invented by man.
The cross might not have changed, but its meaning certainly has.
In the same way, when mankind was closer to God, sex was the symbolic means of communion with the divine, a reencounter with the meaning of life.”
“Why do people seeking God so often distance themselves from sex?”
Wicca was irritated by the interruption, but she answered anyway.
“When I talk about the force, I’m not talking only about the sexual act. Some people make use of this force without actually having sex. Everything depends on which path you take.”
“I know that force,” Brida said. “I know how to make use of it.”
“You may know about having sex with someone in bed, but that isn’t the same as knowing it as a force. Both men and women
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are extremely vulnerable to the force of sex, because, during sex, pleasure and fear are present in equal measure.”
“Why do pleasure and fear go together?”
She had finally asked a question worth answering.
“Because anyone who comes into contact with sex knows that they’re dealing with something which only happens in all its intensity when they lose control. When we’re in bed with someone, we’re giving permission to that person to commune not only with our body but also with our whole being. The pure forces of life are in communication with each other, independent of us, and then we cannot hide who we are.
“It doesn’t matter what image we have of ourselves. It doesn’t matter what disguises we put on, what smart answers or honorable excuses we give. During sex, it’s very difficult to deceive the other person, because that is when each person shows who they really are.”
Wicca was speaking like someone who knew this force well.
Her eyes were shining, and there was pride in her voice. Perhaps that was what lay behind her continuing attractiveness. Brida was glad Wicca was her teacher, and one day she would discover the secret of that charm.
“Before the Initiation can take place, you have to experience that force. Everything else belongs to the Great Mysteries, and you will learn about that after the ceremony.”
