And hell, he’d had a great idea how this night was going to go. He’d won his event, kept his top spot on the leaderboard, and he’d been planning on going out to the bar with all the other guys, including his brother Boone, and having drinks. Which would probably devolve into taking shots, which would inevitably end up with him finding a woman to hook up with...
He’d go back to his motel room, they’d have sex, she’d go her way and he’d sleep for a few hours before getting on the road the next morning.
He could see it all play out in his mind. And it bored him.
Tansey didn’t bore him.
And anyway, she wasn’t his type.
So it wasn’t like it was going to be anything but a conversation. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d wanted to engage in a conversation with anybody after an event.
He didn’t engage in a lot of conversations, really. He did a lot of drinking, a lot of physical things.
Didn’t talk all that much.
This felt like a novelty. And... Hell. He was in the market for one. Hadn’t known that he was until she’d fallen into his arms. But then, maybe that was a sign.
Not that he believed in that kind of thing.
Still, he found himself jerking his head toward where he parked his truck. “Want to take a ride with me?”
“I’ll drive myself,” she said. “Which bar?”
“Cactus,” he said. “It’s right across the street from the Okay Motel. That’s where I’m staying.”
“Me too,” she said.
“How about we drive there, park across the street. Then nobody has to watch the drinking.”
“I don’t get drunk,” she said.
“Why not?”
“Because. I like to have my wits about me.”
“Well. There is the difference between you and me. I prefer to make my wits a bit blurry.”
She looked at him, for a long moment, and he had the uncomfortable feeling that her green eyes could see more than just his face, his shirt, his jeans. He had the feeling that she could see something deeper in him than he even knew was there. And he didn’t like it.
And still, he wanted to go get that drink with her.
“Okay. Meet you there.”
After
She was standing completely still. Like she was the prey. Like she knew it. Like she knew that she had been scented.
Like she knew exactly what he felt.
Because hadn’t she always?
Until that last moment.
And hadn’t he always? Until then.
When they had both pretty spectacularly lied to each other’s faces and broken down the world.
He stood by it.
Because the fallout had proved that he was right. His own behavior after the fact, and hers.
He would never have said he was sensitive. Far from it. He was a man who didn’t do feelings in the slightest. But he felt like she had taken a layer of his skin and peeled it off with a paring knife, pulled it back and showed the world everything that was inside of him. And he didn’t even like to look at all the things that were inside of him.
Hearing the pain in the song was like being stabbed through the heart.
Because as much as it was about her own pain, it was about his. As much as it was about him breaking them up, it was about him breaking himself. As much as he was the villain to her...
He’d been that for himself too.
If he believed in fate, he’d have been certain it had come for him today.
He didn’t believe in fate.
It was just that life was a bitch.
So he had to be a bigger bastard.
He put his hand up to his head, and reflexively, without thought, touched the brim of his cowboy hat, and tipped it. “Howdy.”
