‘And she has a suitor, too. Nellie’s going to marry Jack Buzzard.’

He snorted.

‘Buzzard, eh?’ he said. ‘What is he, a blind buzzard?’

Prince Ernie thought himself quite a wit.

So we set off for Piddletown and descended on poor Mrs Chaffey, a party of eight expecting to be fed and watered. Tom Garth was not at home, neither was he a Major any more. He was promoted Colonel and was on manoeuvres with the Sussex Fencibles and then was going back to Flanders directly. I was both sorry and glad. I would have liked to see him but was afraid my feelings would make me tongue-tied in his company. Bashful silence may add to a beautiful girl’s attractions but it would have been a calamity for me.

Sofy, who had entirely misread the situation, conspired with Ernie to have me sent to the stables on a needless errand. She said she believed her horse might have sustained a stone bruise. The turning points in life rarely come announced by a fanfare. Little chance events are what set us on one path instead of another. For King Louis and his queen you might say it was a face glimpsed by a rush light, and then a broken carriage wheel. For me it was an empty tack room and my peculiar way of remembering people, not by their face or their voice, but by their smell.

A worn wool coat hung from a peg, full-skirted, deep-cuffed, old-fashioned. I knew it was Tom Garth’s and I, pathetic creature that I was, buried my face in it to try and catch the essence of him. It was wood smoke and bay rum. Then I heard a low laugh and I thought my heart would leap out of my chest. Enoch Heppenstall had been watching me. ‘Wiping your snout?’ he said. ‘Colonel won’t like that.

He’s right particular.’

I said, ‘I was only smelling it. The coat reminded me of someone.’

He laughed again.

‘Smelling it? What are you then, a hunting dog? I remember you. You’re not quite right in the head, are you? You’re not quite all there.’

His insult didn’t bother me. All I cared about was that Garth shouldn’t hear of what I’d done.

He said, ‘Never worry, I won’t let on. You let me see what you’ve got under your petticoats and we’ll say no more.’

I fled before he could touch me. Well, I thought, be calm. He’s only a stable hand, and after this moment I need never see him again. But I didn’t allow for Sofy who was eager for me to have a romance and whispered most insistently in Ernie’s ear.

He said, ‘That was speedily done. Did the lad look at the horse?’

‘He will.’

‘But you didn’t see him do it? Damnation, I was clear enough. Now go and see to it, and don’t come back until you’re satisfied.’

He winked at Sofy.

I said, ‘I’d rather not.’

‘Rather not!’ he said. ‘Rather not!’ I said, ‘I feel a little faint.’

Sofy said, ‘She does look very pale, Ernie.’ She rubbed my hands between hers.

I said, ‘If it’s so important I’m sure one of the Major’s maids would go.’

He said, ‘Do you think Garth keeps servants to fetch and carry for you, Miss? Now do as I tell you or you’ll be sorry.’

No one spoke up to defend me. They all feared Ernie’s famous temper.

Enoch Heppenstall was watching for me. ‘I reckoned you’d be back,’ he said. ‘Come to see what I’ve got for you?’

I said, ‘You’ll please to put Her Royal Highness’s mare to the trot directly.’

‘When I’m good and ready. Only I’m good and ready for something else just now.’

He was so close I could see every particular of his mouth: a crooked tooth and bristles he’d missed when he’d shaved that morning, and a string of spit between his parted lips.

I said, ‘Don’t touch me. My beau’ll kill anyone who touches me.’

He sniggered.

‘Your beau? Face like your’n, I don’t reckon you’ve got no beau. And if you have, well, I like a slice off a buttered loaf. Now up you go.’

He twisted my arm till I thought I should faint, then he pushed me up the ladder and into the hayloft. I thought to fight him off at first but that seemed to please him so I lay perfectly still instead. Let him make his own pleasure, I thought, and I hoped he’d choke on it. Indeed I thought he might, he looked so angry as he spent himself. There was a sweet smell of wheat straw and the horses below made soft, shifting noises. It was soon over.

He had to help me down from the loft. My legs wouldn’t carry me. It was an unavoidable act of gentleness after the violence he’d done me and I hated him all the more for it.

He said, ‘You’re not bad, you. Apart from your face you’re like a normal lass.’

I couldn’t look at him.

He said, ‘And you can tell the Duke there’s nowt wrong with that mare. She’s as right as ninepence.’

I found a kitchen maid and asked for a glass of water but my appearance alarmed her so much she ran for Mrs Chaffey. She took me to her pantry and sat me in her high-backed chair.

‘You sit here, nice and quiet, my dear,’ she said. ‘You’ll have been thrown about too much in that gig. Bumpeting around the countryside, all unnecessary. I don’t know what the Royal Highnesses are thinking of.’

I closed my eyes. I don’t know how long I sat there, only that I came back to consciousness with a jolt and was quite certain I wasn’t alone. On a shelf, beside the jars of pickled quinces, Garth’s parrot was watching me with one black eye. ‘Oh dear,’ she said, in that unearthly voice of hers. ‘Oh dear.’

Sofy insisted on sitting with me in the carriage instead of hacking back to Weymouth on her cursed horse.

‘Poor Nellie,’ she said. ‘I expect it was the pie they served us. I didn’t care for the look of it at all.’

Amelia said, ‘I ate the pie and I’m quite well. I don’t think Nellie’s sick at all. I think she’s sulking because Ernie put her in her place. He was rather fierce.’

Sofy said, ‘Is that it? I do wish you’d say.’

Minny said, ‘Leave her in peace. Whatever it is it won’t be helped by pestering.’

At Gloucester Lodge I conducted myself very carefully. I answered when spoken to, took nothing but a little egg custard for my dinner, and accepted Mrs Che’s suggestion to go to bed early. Sofy crept in to see me.

She said, ‘We are still friends?’

‘Of course, but Sofy I shall never go to Ilsington House again so please don’t ask me.’

‘Lord,’ she said, ‘how very dramatic. But actually, I agree with you. It was too boring. In future, if Ernie wants to go he can go alone.’

We began our last week in Weymouth and word came that the Prince of Wales intended to pay us a visit. He was in Hampshire and expected to be with us by dinner time the next day. This caused great excitement. The arrival of any visitor brought relief from our routine and with the Prince of Wales there was also the likelihood that he would bring his sisters gifts.

Only Elizabeth demurred. She said, ‘I wish he wouldn’t come. He’ll discompose the King and then the Queen will get headaches and we shall all pay for it.’