Gideon looked away, his expression solemn. “She said sometimes you don’t find out until much later that the cost was too high.”

I stared at him, but he wouldn’t look at me. “She might be right, Gideon. Maybe some costs are too high.”

He made a gruff sound in this throat and jumped down from his perch in the wagon’s doorway. Before he left for the night, he paused. The darkness concealed his features and turned him into a great black shadow. “Even my death, Evie, would not be too high of a price for me to pay. I would have given my life—I almost did. Ask me if I wouldn’t do it again. Ask me.”

“No.” My voice was as dry and brittle as a late-winter leaf. “It’s too much. Bashaya’s right.”

Was my kingdom’s wellbeing worth the cost of his life? He’d nearly died for me, and now that he was back, I realized the price of losing him, really losing him, was one I absolutely couldn’t afford. And if I couldn’t sacrifice one man for the benefit of many, what kind of queen would that make me?

Perhaps Inselgrau deserved better than me. Maybe the country would find new and better leadership in my absence. Gideon had told me of the rumors saying Inselgrau’s citizens were battling it out between themselves—merchants, the former members of my father’s Crown of Men, and countless others had probably joined the fray. Was my country in the midst of a civil war, and if so, could I stop it? If not, would the winner welcome my return or only see me as a threat and an enemy? “I can’t lose you.”

Before he could formulate a response, I retreated into my wagon, closing the door firmly behind me. My heart thundered in my chest, and I leaned against a wall, gathering my composure.

Genevieve glanced at me over her shoulder. She had loosened her braid and was working a brush through her hair. “I heard what you said. You do love him, don’t you?”

I closed my eyes and sent a wordless prayer to my father. “I don’t know, Genevieve. But I do know that I can’t lose him. It’s a price I’m not willing to pay.”

“Not even if it’s the price of getting your throne back?”

My eyes popped open, and I glared at her. “Pray it never comes to that.”

***

The next morning, I collected my breakfast from Gepennio’s wagon before joining Gideon at his roadside camp. He had stretched a bit of oiled canvas over several stakes, rigging it in a triangular configuration that gave him a dry space in which to lie, if the rain should come. By the looks of the clouds gathering in the distance, rain seemed like a distinct possibility. He had also started a small fire, and a shallow pan of water simmered on a rock beside the flames.

Beneath a dark riding coat, he wore slim black pants, a white shirt, and a serviceable waistcoat in a somber blue. He also wore the black leather boots the empress had given him. Apparently, they had survived Vanessa’s fiery attack.

His short hair, though.... I might never get used to that.

The pale-brown strands stuck up around his head in a riot of cowlicks, and my fingers itched to smooth them down, to touch him, to verify again that he was truly there, whole and healthy.

After taking a seat beside him at the fire, I gave him the bread from my plate to accompany his dried fruit and jerky breakfast, and I refused to hear his objections. “I don’t know what’s to come,” I said. “And I can’t bear the thought that you might ever go hungry while I had plenty.”

“That’s not the standard talk for a queen. Aren’t you supposed to crave luxury, even at the cost of your people?”

“How can you say that? Have you forgotten Fallstaff so quickly? It was a grand home, don’t get me wrong, but it was no Prigha Castle.”

“It was a monolith.” He tore the crust from his bread. “Like something frozen in time several hundred years ago.”

“If I wanted a hot bath, a servant had to hand-pump the water from a faucet in the kitchen, boil it on the stoves, and then carry it up the stairs to my rooms. Needless to say, that rarely happened.”

He smirked. “I remember how the flies followed you everywhere you went.”

I grabbed a leftover crust from my plate and hurled it at him. He ducked and laughed. I resisted the urge to kick his ankle. “I had plenty of soap and water and a big ewer and basin in my room, but you...” I gave him a grave look. “You probably took your baths in the horse’s trough.”

He grinned and winked. “At least I was clean.”

“It wasn’t much.” My levity drained away. “But it was where my family lived for generations, where I was born and where my father died.”

He nodded. “It was home.”

“It was, and I hope to see it again someday. If there’s anything left to see.” I set aside the last crumbs of my breakfast and brushed my hands against my trousers as I stood. “I have to get to work. Even with everything else that’s happened, I still have to earn my keep.”

He stood up beside me. “I’ll walk with you.”

We’d been apart for weeks, suffering so much uncertainty about one another’s welfare that we both needed more time to relish each other’s company. “We’ll be rolling out soon. Falak says we’ll be in Barsava in a few days and we’ll be setting up to perform.”

“You’re going to ride the lion then?”

I shrugged. “He wants me to, but I’m not sure we’ll be ready. I suppose....” I stopped as a realization hit me. “Well, I suppose now that you and I are together again, we don’t need to stay with the circus. We can go on to Varynga ourselves and look for the Fantaz—Oh!” Falak’s appearance was so sudden I nearly plowed into him.

“Good morning, m’lady. Sir Faust.” He doffed his little cap and settled it back on his dark hair. He wore his usual white shirt, jodhpurs, and suspenders, but had added a green velveteen waistcoat that brought out the amber undertones in his brown skin. “I was just looking for you.”

I stepped back and studied his face, searching for a hint in his expression, but he gave nothing away. “Although I’m afraid to ask...” I bowed and came up wearing a facetious smile. “How may we be of service?”

The ringmaster rolled his eyes. “Like I’ve told you before, your performance skills leave much to be desired.”

I scowled. “What do you want, Falak?”

“Have you had breakfast yet?”

“Just finished. I was on my way to help with the dishes.”

“Let me propose something to the both of you first.” The three of us stopped at the steps leading to the cook wagon’s rear door. Falak fingered his collar as though it had drawn tight against his throat. “Perhaps the arrival of your guardian here”—he gestured at Gideon—“was more fortuitous than I wanted to admit. Almost fateful, perhaps.”

“How’s that?”

He pointed to a vast mountain range in the distance that had grown closer each day until its peaks loomed over us like silent, watchful giants. Their dark presence felt foreboding and ominous, or perhaps it was the way Falak had hinted about them being dangerous. “We must pass through those mountains, there, to reach the outskirts of Barsava.”

I squinted at the mountains as if it might bring their details into focus. “Yes, and your point is?”

Gideon cleared his throat. “Those are the Thaulgants, correct?”

Falak peered at Gideon and nodded.

“Home to a notorious band of thieves called the Thaulgant Brigands, am I right?”

Again, Falak nodded, and I noticed his complexion had gone a bit pale.

Gideon leaned back on his heels and crossed his arms over his chest. “Evie, what would you like to wager that the ringmaster here is about to offer us a proposal. I’m willing to bet he’s going to offer me something very alluring. Food. A wagon to sleep in perhaps. Money, if he’s desperate—”

Falak scoffed, hacking a derisive noise in his throat, but he did not object outright.

Gideon continued. “And in return, he’ll ask me to offer my services as a watch dog. A sentinel. A hired gun, if it comes to it.”

An instant chill slithered down my spine. “No.”

The ringmaster arched an eyebrow and blinked at me. He turned his gaze to my companion and waited.