Cugel ate at leisure. A most pleasant harmony existed between himself and the world: an interlude to be prolonged, cherished and savored to the utmost. To memorialize this special condition Cugel lifted his exquisitely delicate tea-cup and sipped the limpid nectar brewed from Soldinck’s choicest blend of herbs.

“Just so!” said Cugel. The past was gone; the future might end tomorrow, should the sun go dark. Now was now, to be dealt with on its own terms.

“Precisely so!” said Cugel.

And yet … Cugel glanced uneasily over his shoulder. It was right and proper to exploit the excellences of the moment, but still, when conditions reached an apex, there was nowhere to go but down.

Even now, without tangible reason, Cugel felt an eery strain in the atmosphere, as if, just past the edge of his awareness, something had gone askew.

Cugel jumped to his feet and looked over the port rail. The worms, on half-bait, worked without strain. Everything seemed in order. Likewise with the starboard worm. Cugel slowly went back to his breakfast.

Cugel applied the full force of his intellect to the problem: what had aroused his uneasiness? The ship was sound; food and drink were ample; Madame Soldinck and her daughters had apparently come to terms with their new careers; and Cugel congratulated himself upon his wise, kindly but firm administration.

For a period immediately after departure Madame Soldinck produced a furious torrent of abuse, which Cugel finally decided to abate, if only in the interests of ship-board morale. “Madame,” said Cugel, “your outcries disturb us all. They must cease.”

“I name you an oppressor! A monster of evil! A laharq, or a keak!”^*

Cugel replied: “Unless you desist I will order you confined in the hold.”

“Bah!” said Madame Soldinck. “Who will carry out your orders?”

“If necessary I will implement them myself! Ship’s discipline must be maintained. I am now captain of this vessel, and these are my commands. First, you are to hold your tongue. Second, you will assemble aft on the midship deck to hear the address I am about to deliver.”

With poor grace Madame Soldinck and her daughters gathered at the spot which Cugel had designated.

Cugel climbed halfway up the companionway ladder. “Ladies! I will be grateful for your complete attention!” Cugel looked smilingly from face to face. “Now then! I am aware that today has not yielded optimum rewards to us all. Still, now is now, and we must come to terms with circumstance. In this regard I can offer a word or two of advice.

“Our first concern is for marine regulation, which stipulates quick and exact obedience to the captain’s orders. Shipboard work will be shared. I have already accepted the duties of command. From you, my crew, I will expect good will, cooperation and zest, whereupon you will find me lenient, understanding and even affectionate.”

Madame Soldinck called out sharply: “We want neither you nor your lenience! Take us back to Pompodouros!”

Meadhre, the oldest daughter, said in a melancholy voice: “Hush, Mama! Be realistic! Cugel does not dare return to Pompodouros, so let us find where in fact he plans to take us.”

“I will now provide that information,” said Cugel. “Our port of destination is Val Ombrio on the coast of Almery, a goodly sail to the south.”

Madame Soldinck cried out in shock: “You cannot be serious! In between lie waters of deadly peril! This is common knowledge!”

Cugel said coldly: “I suggest, Madame, that you place your faith in someone like myself, rather than the housewives of your social circle.”

Salasser advised her mother: “Cugel will do as he likes in any case; why oppose his wishes? It will only make him angry.”

“Sound thinking!” declared Cugel. “Now, as to the work of the ship: each of you must become a competent worminger, at my instruction. Since we have ample time we will drive the worms at half-bait only, which will be to their advantage. We also lack the services of Angshott the cook; still, we have ample stores and I see no reason to stint ourselves. I encourage all of you to give full scope to your culinary skills.

“Today I will prepare a tentative work-schedule. During the day I will maintain the look-out and supervise ship-board processes. Perhaps here I should mention that Madame Soldinck, by virtue of her years and social position, will not be required to act as ‘night-steward’. Now then, in regard to —”

Madame Soldinck took a quick step forward. “One moment! The ‘night-steward’— what are her duties and why should I be disqualified?”

Cugel looked off across the sea. “The duties of the ‘night-steward’ are more or less self-explanatory. She is assigned to the aft-cabin, where she looks to the convenience of the captain. There is prestige to the post; it is only fair that it should be shared among Meadhre, Salasser and Tabazinth.”

Again Madame Soldinck became agitated. “It is as I feared! I, Cugel, will be ‘night-steward’! Do not attempt to dissuade me!”

“All very well, madame, but your skills are needed at the helm.”

Meadhre said: “Come, Mama, we are not so frail and pathetic as you fear.”

Tabazinth said with a laugh: “Mama, it is you who deserves special consideration and not we. We can cope with Cugel very well.”

Salasser said: “We must let Cugel make the decisions, since the responsibilities are his.”

Cugel spoke. “There I suggest we let the matter rest. Now I must deal, once and once only, with a somewhat macabre concept. Let us assume that someone aboard this ship — let us call her Zita, after the Goddess of Unknowable Things — let us assume that Zita has decided to remove Cugel from the realm of the living. She considers poison in his food, a knife in his gullet, a blow and a push so that Cugel falls into the sea.

“Genteel persons are not likely to consider such conduct,” said Cugel. “Still, I have evolved a plan to reduce this likelihood to nothing. Deep in the forward hold I will install a destructive device, using a quantity of explosive, a candle, and a fuse. Every day I will unlock an impregnable iron-bound door and replace the candle. If I neglect to do so, the candle will burn down and ignite the wick. The explosive will blow a hole in the hull and the ship will sink like a stone. Madame Soldinck, you appear distrait; did you hear me properly?”

“I heard you all too well.”

“Then this completes my remarks for the moment. Madame Soldinck, you may report to the wheel, where I will demonstrate the basic principles of steering. Girls, you will first prepare our lunch, then see to the comfort of our various cabins.”

At the wheel Madame Soldinck continued to warn of dangers to the south. “The pirates are blood-thirsty! There are sea-monsters: the blue codorfins, the thryfwyd, the forty-foot water-shadow! Storms strike from all directions; they toss ships about like corks!”

“How do the pirates survive amid such dangers?”

“Who cares how they survive? Our fervent hope is that they perish.”

Cugel laughed. “Your warnings fly in the face of facts! We carry goods for Iucounu which must be delivered by way of Val Ombrio, on the coast of Almery.”

“It is you who are ignorant of facts! The goods are trans-shipped through Port Perdusz, where our factors make special arrangements. To Port Perdusz we must go.”

Cugel laughed once again. “Do you take me for a fool? On the instant the ship touched dock you would be bawling in all directions for the thief-takers. As before: steer south.” Cugel went off to his lunch, leaving Madame Soldinck glowering at the escalabra.

On the morning of the next day Cugel felt the first intimation that something had gone askew at the edges of reality. Try as he might, the exact discrepancy, or slippage, or unconformity evaded his grasp. The ship functioned properly, although the worms, on half-bait, seemed a trifle sluggish, as if after a hard stint, and Cugel made a mental note to dose them with a tonic.

A covey of high clouds in the western sky presaged wind, which, if favorable, would further rest the worms … Cugel frowned in perplexity. Drofo had made him aware as to variations in the ocean’s color, texture and clarity. Now it seemed as if this were the identical ocean they had crossed the day before … Ridiculous, Cugel told himself; he must keep a grip upon his imagination.

Late in the afternoon Cugel, looking astern, noticed a portly little cog approaching at its best speed. Cugel took up his lens and studied the ship, which was propelled by four splashing and inefficient worms being driven to their utmost. On the deck Cugel thought to recognize Soldinck, Captain Baunt, Pulk and others, while a tall pensive figure, surely Drofo, stood at the bow contemplating the sea.

Cugel looked around the sky. Night was two hours distant. Without urgency he ordered double-bait for all worms and a half-gill each of Rouse’s Tonic. The Galante moved easily away from the pursuing ship.

Madame Soldinck had watched all with interest. She asked at last: “Who sailed that ship?”

“They seemed to be Sarpent Island traders,” said Cugel. “A rough lot, by all accounts. In the future give such ships a wide berth.”

Madame Soldinck made no comment, and Cugel went off to ponder a new mystery: how had Soldinck come at him so swiftly?

With the coming of darkness, Cugel changed course and the pursuing ship was lost astern. Cugel told Madame Soldinck: “In the morning they’ll be ten leagues off our course.” He turned to go below … A gleam of light, from the black iron stern lantern, caught his eye.

Cugel uttered a cry of vexation and extinguished the light. He turned angrily to Madame Soldinck: “Why did you not tell me that you had lit up the lantern?”