TITLE TWO:
LARCENY, GRAND.
TITLE THREE:
LARCENY, PETTY.
TITLE FOUR:
VANDALISM.
TITLE FIVE:
ASSAULT, UPON THE PERSON OF FROLE.
TITLE SIX:
SLANDER.
TITLE SEVEN:
DISHONOUR TO THE MONSTRAMENT, INCLUDING WILFUL MUTILATION AND CASTING DOWN OF A CERTIFIED COPY THEREOF.
TITLE EIGHT:
CONSPIRACY TO COMMIT THE ABOVE CRIMES.
TITLE NINE:
WILFUL RETENTION OF STOLEN PROPERTY.
TITLE TEN:
FAILURE TO ABIDE BY THE BLUE PRINCIPLES, AS PROPOUNDED IN THE MONSTRAMENT.
Ildefonse put the tablet down upon his desk. “I will read the full charges presently, but at this moment, let me ask this: your topics and titles — are they not excessive to the case?”
Rhialto shrugged. “They describe most of the crimes involved, but not all.”
“How so? The list seems all-inclusive.”
“Have you forgotten the basic mystery? Who sent the pictures which mocked Hurtiancz? Who hung the opal on the drop-chain and thereby offended Ao? Who beat Gilgad’s beast? Who destroyed Zilifant’s tree? Do not these mysteries cry out for a solution?”
“They are cryptic indeed,” admitted Ildefonse. “Of course sheer coincidence might be at work — no? You reject this theory? Well, perhaps so. Still, the questions are not included on your bill of accusations, and so lack immediate relevance.”
“As you like,” said Rhialto. “I suggest that you appoint a committee composed of Hurtiancz, Ao, Gilgad and Zilifant to pursue the matter.”
“All in good time. I will now read the ‘Bill of Accusations’ in full.”
“There is no need to do so,” said Rhialto. “The association is well aware of the charges. I myself am not inflexible; three avenues, at least, are open. First, the group by acclamation may yield the damages I seek; secondly, the Preceptor, using his executive powers, may impose the specified levies; or thirdly, we will present the bill to the Adjudicator, for his judgment by the exact schedules of the Monstrament. Ildefonse, will you kindly ascertain which avenue is most congenial to this group?”
Ildefonse gave a guttural grunt. “What must be, must be. I move that we accept Rhialto’s demands, even though a few minor hardships may be encountered. Is there a second?”
“Hold!” Barbanikos leapt to his feet, his great plume of white hair waving like a flame. “I must point out that the penalties invoked against Rhialto were partly in censure of his odious personality, so that in no way can he demand full restitution, let alone damages!”
“Hear, hear!” cried Haze of Wheary Water and others.
Thus encouraged, Barbanikos continued: “Any sensitive person would have recognized the reprimand for what it was; he would have returned meekly to the group, anxious only to vindicate himself. Instead, what do we have? A surly visage, a hectoring manner, slurs and threats! Is this appropriate conduct for a person who has just been decisively chastised by his peers?”
Barbanikos paused to refresh himself with a sip of tonic, then proceeded.
“Rhialto has learned nothing! He shows the same impudence as before! Therefore I earnestly recommend that Rhialto’s tantrums be ignored. If they proceed, I suggest that he be turned out of doors by the footmen. Rhialto, I say this to you and no more: take care! Be ruled by prudence! You will be the happier man for it! That is my first remark. Now, as for my second —”
Ildefonse interrupted. “Yes, most interesting! Barbanikos, thank you for your incisive opinions.”
Barbanikos reluctantly resumed his seat. Ildefonse asked: “Once again: is there a second to my motion?”
“I second the motion,” said Rhialto. “Let us now see who votes for and who votes against the Blue Principles.”
Hache-Moncour stepped forward. “There is still another point to be considered. In our discussion we have made frequent references to the Monstrament. May I ask as to who can furnish the group a full, undamaged and authentic text? Ildefonse, you naturally include such a document among your references?”
Ildefonse groaned toward the ceiling. “I would not know where to look. Rhialto, however, has brought here, as an exhibit, such a document.”
“Unfortunately, Rhialto’s exhibit, whatever it purports to be, is torn and no longer valuable. We must insist upon absolute authenticity: in this case, the Perciplex itself. Put Rhialto’s damaged scrap out of mind. We will study the Monstrament at Fader’s Waft; then and only then will we be able to vote with conviction.”
Ildefonse said: “Do you put that in the form of a motion?”
“I do.”
