Cugel became conscious of Firx’s fretful stirrings. “And as to the emoluments?”
“They are excellent. The Watchman enjoys great prestige here in Vull, since, in a purely formal sense, he protects us all from danger.”
“They are, specifically, what?”
The hetman paused to reflect, and ticked off the points on his fingers. “First, he is provided a comfortable watch-tower, complete with cushions, an optical device whereby distant objects are made to seem close at hand, a brazier to provide heat and an ingenious communications system. Next, his food and drink are of the highest quality and provided free of charge, at his pleasure and to his order. Next, he is generally granted the subsidiary title ‘Guardian of the Public Repository’, and to simplify matters, he is invested with full title to, and powers of dispensation over, the total wealth of Vull. Fourth, he may select as his spouse that maiden who seems to him the most attractive. Fifthly, he is accorded the title of ‘Baron’ and must be saluted with profound respect.”
“Indeed, indeed,” said Cugel. “The position appears worthy of consideration. What responsibilities are entailed?”
“They are as the nomenclature implies. The Watchman must keep watch, for this is one of the old-fashioned customs we observe. The duties are hardly onerous, but they must not be scamped, because that would signify farce, and we are serious folk, even in connection with our quaint traditions.”
Cugel nodded judiciously. “The conditions are straightforward. The Watchman watches; nothing could be more clearly expressed. But who is Magnatz, in what direction should he be apprehended, and how may he be recognized?”
“These questions are of no great application,” said the hetman, “since the creature, in theory, has no existence.”
Cugel glanced up at the tower, across the lake, back toward the public repository. “I hereby make application for the position, providing all is as you state.”
Firx instantly impinged a series of racking pangs upon Cugel’s vitals. Cugel bent double, clasped his abdomen, straightened, and making excuses to the perplexed hetman, moved to the side. “Patience!” he implored Firx. “Temperance! Have you no concept of realities? My purse is empty; there are long leagues ahead! To travel with any degree of expedition, I must restore my strength and replenish my wallet. I plan to work at this office only long enough to do both, then it is post-haste to Almery!”
Firx reluctantly diminished the demonstrations, and Cugel returned to where the hetman waited.
“All is as before,” said Cugel. “I have taken counsel with myself and believe I can adequately fulfill the obligations of the job.”
The hetman nodded. “I am pleased to hear this. You will find my presentation of the facts to be accurate in every essential aspect. I likewise have been reflecting, and I can safely say that no other person of the town aspires to so august a position, and I hereby pronounce you Watchman of the Town!” Ceremoniously the hetman brought forth a golden collar, which he draped around Cugel’s neck.
They returned toward the tavern, and as they went, the folk of Vull, noting the golden collar, pressed upon the hetman with eager questions. “Yes,” was his answer. “This gentleman has demonstrated his capabilities, and I have pronounced him Watchman of the Town!”
At the news the folk of Vull became generously expansive, and congratulated Cugel as if he had been a resident the whole of his life.
All repaired to the tavern; wine and spiced meat were set out; pipers appeared and there was decorous dancing and merry-making.
During the course of the evening Cugel spied an extremely beautiful girl dancing with a young man who had been part of the hunting party. Cugel nudged the hetman, directed his attention to the girl.
“Ah yes: the delightful Marlinka! She dances with the lad whom I believe she plans to espouse.”
“Her plans possibly are subject to alteration?” inquired Cugel meaningfully.
The hetman winked slyly. “You find her attractive?”
“Indeed, and since this is a perquisite of my office, I hereby declare this delightful creature my bride-elect. Let the ceremonies be performed at once!”
“So swiftly?” inquired the hetman. “Ah well, the hot blood of youth brooks no delay.” He signaled the girl and she danced merrily over to the table. Cugel arose, performed a deep bow. The hetman spoke. “Marlinka, the Watchman of the Town finds you desirable and wishes you for his spouse.”
Marlinka seemed first surprised, then amused. She glanced roguishly at Cugel, and performed an arch curtsey. “The Watchman does me great honor.”
“Further,” intoned the hetman, “he requires that the marital ceremonies be performed on the instant.”
Marlinka looked dubiously at Cugel, then over her shoulder at the young man with whom she had been dancing. “Very well,” she said. “As you will.”
The ceremony was performed, and Cugel found himself espoused to Marlinka, whom, on closer examination, he saw to be a creature of delightful animation, charming manners and exquisite appearance. He put his arm around her waist. “Come,” he whispered, “let us slip away for a period and solemnize the connubiality.”
“Not so soon,” whispered Marlinka. “I must have time to order myself; I am over-excited!” She released herself, and danced away.
There was further feasting and merry-making, and to his vast displeasure Cugel noted Marlinka again dancing with the youth to whom she formerly had been betrothed. As he watched she embraced this young man with every evidence of ardor. Cugel marched forward, halted the dance, took his bride aside. “Such an act is hardly appropriate; you have only been married an hour!”
Marlinka, both surprised and non-plussed, laughed, then frowned, then laughed again and promised to behave with greater decorum. Cugel attempted to lead her to his chamber, but she once again declared the moment unsuitable.
Cugel drew a deep sigh of vexation, but was consoled by the recollection of his other perquisites: the freedom of the repository, for instance. He leaned over to the hetman. “Since now I am titular guardian to the public repository, it is only prudent that I acquaint myself in detail with the treasure I am charged with guarding. If you will be so good as to turn over the keys, I will go to make a quick inventory.”
“Even better,” said the hetman, “I will accompany you, and do what I can in the way of assistance.”
They crossed to the repository. The hetman unlocked the door and held a light. Cugel entered, examined the valuables. “I see that all is in order, and perhaps it is advisable to wait till my head is settled before undertaking a detailed inventory. But in the meantime —” Cugel went to the jewel bin, selected several gems, and began to tuck them into his pouch.
“A moment,” said the hetman. “I fear you inconvenience yourself. Shortly you will be fitted with garments of rich cloth deserving of your rank. The wealth is most conveniently kept here in the treasury; why trouble yourself with the weight, or incur the possibility of loss?”
“There is something in what you say,” remarked Cugel, “but I wish to order the construction of a mansion overlooking the lake and I will need wealth to pay the costs of construction.”
“In due time, in due time. The actual work can hardly commence until you have examined the countryside and chosen the most felicitous site.”
“True,” agreed Cugel. “I can see that there are busy times ahead. But now — back to the tavern! My spouse is over-modest and now I will brook no further delay!”
But upon their return Marlinka was nowhere to be found. “Doubtless she has gone to array herself in seductive garments,” suggested the hetman. “Have patience!”
Cugel compressed his lips in displeasure, and was further annoyed to find that the young huntsman had likewise departed.
The merry-making waxed apace, and after many toasts, Cugel became a trifle fuddled, and was carried up to his chamber.
Early in the morning the hetman rapped at the door, and entered at Cugel’s summons. “We must now visit the watch-tower,” said the hetman. “My own son guarded Vull this last night, since our tradition demands incessant vigilance.”
