Aaron noted his lapse in attention. “Where did you go last night? You left at midnight and didn’t return until dawn. You’ve barely slept.”
A yawn escaped him at the mention of sleep. “Out.”
“To visit Miss Darrow?”
All eyes were upon him now, eager to hear his confession. “I kept Gibbs company while Miss Darrow slept upstairs.” She had played cards with Gibbs for hours and lost all but two games. She had darned Gibbs’ socks to pay her debts and sewn new buttons on his waistcoat. Gibbs said she cried herself to sleep. “She knew nothing of my visit. I left before she woke.”
He had crept upstairs, stood in her doorway and listened to the gentle cadence of her breathing. Knowing she was at peace did odd things to his insides. Never had he felt an overwhelming need to protect a woman.
“Gibbs has the strength of four men,” Aaron countered. “He could ward off an army and remain unscathed. I’m confident he didn’t need a chaperone.”
Christian came to Theo’s defence. “It’s only natural Theo would feel responsible for Miss Darrow.” Christian offered him a sympathetic smile before looking at Aaron. “Knowing she’s safe puts his mind at ease. I’m sure we all understand that feeling.”
Eleanor’s safety had become Theo’s primary concern. It came before his own welfare, and dare he say, before his duties at Fortune’s Den.
“Guilt can play havoc with a man’s emotions,” Aramis added. “The wager was my idea. I will manage Theo’s responsibilities until he has found Miss Darrow’s ransacker.”
Aaron sat back in the chair and studied them over steepled fingers. “I understand the reason for Theo’s actions. And I’m not his keeper. All I ask is that he considers his own safety when walking the streets at night. Men with a point to prove are unpredictable.”
Theo wanted to argue but couldn’t. “As always, your points are valid. I was shot protecting Delphine. I may get shot while protecting Miss Darrow. It’s the price a man pays for chivalry.” He chuckled to allay the tension. “Be assured, when navigating the metropolis, I shall proceed with an air of caution.”
Aaron sighed, his silence stretching for what felt like an hour. “You see me as perfect, but I’ve made countless mistakes.”
“When did these freakish events occur?” Theo teased.
A shadow of guilt passed over Aaron’s features. He firmed his jaw before saying, “I left you all once. I left Mrs Maloney’s bookshop in the dead of night and ran away. Caring for you seemed too great a burden when I was struggling to take care of myself.”
Theo’s mouth dropped open in shock. He could not recall a day when Aaron wasn’t a strong shoulder of support. Aramis looked equally disarmed. Christian was the only one whose eyes swam with recognition.
“I reached the end of Lime Street before I realised I was nothing without my siblings. I have been your protector ever since.” He paused, an air of sadness about him. “But we’re men now. Each one of us must forge our own way in the world. If you want to visit Miss Darrow, that is your business, not mine.”
Amid the stunned silence, Theo observed his eldest brother. Guilt and bitterness had poisoned his spirit, leading him to neglect his own happiness. Was his one mistake the root cause of his misery? Amidst the shadows of his painful past, would he ever find peace?
Aaron stood and gathered his ledger. “A judgement based on fear is a poor one. It’s something I shall strive to remember in the difficult months ahead.”
With that cryptic comment, Aaron left.
Seconds passed.
“It’s impossible to imagine what Aaron has been through,” Aramis said. “He had his innocence knocked out of him at a young age. Everything he does is for the good of this family.”
“I imagine he feels like he’s losing everything,” Christian offered, his voice tight with emotion. “He won’t know what to do if he’s left alone here.”
“I’ll not leave him,” Theo declared, ignoring the pang of remorse in his chest when he thought of Eleanor. To save Aaron, he must relegate his own happiness to a dusty shelf. Aaron had sacrificed his life to secure their future. It was only right Theo made sacrifices, too.
“Yet I suspect leaving him alone will force him to exorcise his demons.” Aramis looked Theo’s way. “If you’re meant to leave, nothing will stop you. My love for Aaron remains unchanged despite my love for Naomi. Yet, I’d rather die than be separated from my wife.”
Theo had found it hard to leave Eleanor last night. He’d been unable to stay away. The thought of never holding her in his arms again, of never seeing her smile … it was too painful to bear.
They spoke about Miss Lovelace.
“Women like to feel treasured,” Christian said. “Can you see Aaron playing the romantic hero? The doting lover? He’s cold and cynical. A woman would need a backbone of steel to tolerate him.”
Miss Lovelace was the only woman in the history of the female sex who wasn’t afraid of Aaron. Under the right circumstances, it would make for an explosive union. But Aaron’s defences were forged in the fires of hell. No mortal woman could bring down his barricades.
“After all he’s done for us, he deserves to be happy.” The heaviness in Theo’s chest returned. As the King of Hearts, he couldn’t add to his brother’s torment. Yet every waking moment was consumed by thoughts of Eleanor—her image, her voice, her touch—all etched into the fabric of his being. They were friends, lovers, but he wanted more. He needed more. He needed her.
“The outcome is already written in the stars.” Christian laughed. “Daventry is up to his matchmaking tricks and won’t rest until we’re all wed.”
When Theo arrived at New Bridge Street, Miss Darrow was waiting at the door, her beaming smile lighting his world. Her pelisse, a deep forest green reminiscent of forbidden forests, enhanced her figure to perfection. The ribbons of her silk bonnet framed her beautiful face. He had missed her, missed her more than he should, more than he dared to admit.
“You’re late,” she teased.
“I believe it’s two minutes to twelve.” He removed his gold watch, flashed the face and returned it to his pocket. “It sounds like you missed me.”
“Missed your teasing remarks and fiery kisses?” She chuckled, though he could see the strain behind her smile. “I spent most of the evening fixing Mr Gibbs’ clothes and fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.”
He had watched her sleeping. She had clutched the bedsheets to her chest as if hugging a lover. Having discarded her pillow, she slept on the one he’d used to rest his head. Had she inhaled the remnants of his scent? Because he had laid face-down in his bed and breathed the essence of her.
“I’ve barely slept,” he admitted. “I’ll be useless today.”
“Did London’s rogues refuse to leave the gaming tables?”
“No, Eleanor. I spent the night thinking about you.”
She swallowed deeply. “Thinking about the case and what I discovered about Emily? Now I know why she was so interested in my life in Eynsford.”
