At his words, my eyes drift to Avery, who seems to have once more veiled his emotions. Still, for some unknown reason, I don’t really want to go along with Aleks’ game in front of him. “Dude,” I hiss and give Aleks a meaningful look.
“I’m not letting go until I get a kiss.”
“I’m not kissing you,” I declare with finality.
“Come on,” my friend goads. “Do it for the ’gram.”
“I already did it for the ’gram.”
“Please.”
“No, dude.”
“You don’t love me.”
“Right now, I don’t even like you.”
“Giiiin.”
“No.”
“I want a good-night kiss.”
“And I—” I break off as a body darts past me.
Avery grabs Aleks’ T-shirt by the front material, pulls him close, and places a loud, sloppy one right on his mouth. With Aleks standing in complete shock, my new roommate rips the note from his hand before passing it to me. “Good night, Aleks,” he says, turning to walk further into our room. “Stop talking, Ellingsworth.”
If literal steam could come out of my ears, now is the time it would happen. Aleks gets a good-night kiss, and I get told to shut up? It was Aleks’ fault that I was even talking in the first place!
My friend bites his lip, stifling his laughter at the appalled look on my face. I flip him off in return, then let the door slam in his face.
Closed inside the bathroom once more, I finally change into my pajamas. I take a second to straighten out the three notes I’d crushed earlier, reading over each one.
We love you — Mom and Dad.
<3 — Willow.
Take meds — Me.
There, there’s Aleks’: Flick a bean, flick a peen, you sexy bi-boy!
I laugh out loud, quickly cutting myself off as I hear how echoey the bathroom is. Still smiling to myself, I go through my nightly routine—washing my face, brushing my teeth, moisturizing my hair. When it comes time to take my nightly medication, I cast a nervous glance at the closed bathroom door. Will Avery be able to hear the rattle of the pill bottle? The echo in the all-tile room is ridiculous.
Turning the faucet back on, I use it to try and down out the sound of me sifting through the three bottles until I find the one I need.
One white pill. That’s all.
For tonight, at least.
I move at the pace of a snail, pulling the bottle out, uncapping it, carefully tipping it, and sliding one finger in to retrieve one pill. Replacing the cap and returning the bottle to my bag is just as difficult to keep quiet. Despite the running water, I fear Avery had to have heard all the noise.
My pulse is racing so fast I have to grasp the edge of the counter and take deep breaths to calm myself before I can take the single pill. I debate using one of the glasses set out on the counter, but would Avery wonder why I needed it?
Deciding not to risk having to explain myself, I cup my palm to fill it with water from the faucet and use that to take my medicine.
I’m still a nervous wreck as I enter the dark hotel room. Avery is beneath his sheets, his back to me. He appears to be asleep, but he also might be pretending so I won’t bother him.
Did he hear? Is he wondering what made those unmistakable sounds—what pills I took?
The worry is too much. I’d be less anxious not taking my pills than having to sneak them. I have been taking them religiously without fail, and I feel perfectly in control—save for today, but that couldn’t be helped. I’ve felt fine for a long time now.
Maybe in the morning, I’ll skip my dose. One time will be fine, I’m sure.
CHAPTER 5
HENDRIX AVERY
Preseason in the NFL is a joke.
Everyone has this mentality that they need to “change things up” and “see what works” instead of playing what does work over and over until practice makes perfect.
What does work is me being out on the field. Aleks and I have great chemistry, and the times I have gotten to play have been the best of my career.
Despite how well I have been doing, the coaches still insist on sending out other guys. Tight ends who can’t catch a ten-yard throw. Receivers who miss a catch that hits them right in the chest. Running backs who drop the ball.
It’s absurd.
Every game, they try and try again to force other O-lines to work, but why force something when having me out there is perfect?
