“Mm-hm. I’d been waiting forever for you. Hoping you’d find a way back to The Shade. Back to me,” she said.
“Well, I kind of did, didn’t I?”
She laughed again, and the sound of her laughing was like music to my ears. “Your body was on a three-day loan, Ben. You proposed to me while wearing another fae’s meat suit.”
“I didn’t technically propose, babe. Remember?”
“Ah, yes, you said you would ask me to marry you if you could keep that body forever,” River shot back. “And remember what I told you?”
My heart was aching. I’d spent so many of my ghost days hanging around River, unable to touch her or tell her how much I loved her, how much I missed her. I could only reach her in dreams, and that was never enough.
“You said yes,” I replied. “I didn’t even ask you, and you said yes.”
“Ben… I was happy to see you. The happiest, in fact. I was miserable without you, and… seeing you there, on the beach, smiling down at me… My brain just stopped functioning,” River said.
Oh, I remembered the look on her face. I could almost feel her angst once I told her about the three-day agreement I’d made with the fae for this body. I got to keep it, in the end, but, back then, nothing was certain. Nothing besides my love for River.
We’d been through enough over the years, and me dying and coming back wasn’t even the cherry on top of it all. Over the past few months, prior to this Strava mess, River and I had been having trouble. Not the serious kind, but we’d grown just a little bit apart. Enough for the both of us to feel like there was something wrong with our relationship.
I’d spoken to Rose about it, and I was surprised to hear that she and Caleb were going through something similar. We figured they were the regular troubles of married couples. Sometimes, even with all the love in the world and nothing to really argue about, couples went through these… slumps.
River and I had been having some arguments—the small stuff about GASP operations, or where to spend our much-deserved vacation, mostly, but they did suck the life out of us. By the time we got to bed, we ended up sleeping with our backs to each other.
Now that I was here, on Strava, struggling to stay alive and to save the friggin’ world, I missed River more than ever. This was way worse than my stint as a ghost. This time, I could speak to her—I just couldn’t get back to her, because Ta’Zan, the crazy bastard that he was, wanted to destroy the entire world.
All the arguments that River and I had were gone. Mere threads of dust gone with the wind. Moments that flickered by so fast, I couldn’t even remember what they were about. All I could think of was a way to destroy Ta’Zan and stop the Perfects, so I could get back to my wife and hold her in my arms again.
“I miss you,” I said to her.
“I miss you, too, Ben.”
“Do you remember what we last bickered about?”
“I don’t even care,” she replied. “We’re married. I think we’ll always butt heads, one way or another. Sofia said it comes with the couple life.”
“You talked to my mom about it?”
“Not directly, no. We just talked about… stuff, in general, and I mentioned that we had some rather heated arguments,” River said. “I hope you don’t mind.”
“No, no, not at all,” I breathed. “I’m a little flustered, maybe, but I kind of had that coming. I’m stubborn. I deserve it.”
River scoffed. “That makes two of us. Why do you think sparks fly when we’re together? There will always be some disagreement between us, at one point or another. But we’re much stronger than that.”
“I like to think it’s because we love each other to the moon and back,” I said, reminding her of exactly what she’d said to me the day I came back as a fae.
“Oh, you sly dog, you!” River shot back, laughing. “Promise me one thing.”
“What’s that?” I asked, deeply satisfied to have made her laugh again.
“Promise me you’ll come back. We’re going to be great-grandparents, Ben.”
“River, I will pulverize a billion Ta’Zans, if that’s what it takes to get back to you. I’m sorry we ever fought, even for a minute, over the most trivial of things,” I said, my voice shaky. “There’s nothing I want more, right now, than to hold you in my arms.”
“Well, then get off your ass, obliterate those damn Perfects, and fly back here!” River replied, stifling a giggle.
“By the stars, I love you even more right now,” I grumbled.
“You like it when I talk dirty, huh?”
“You’re such a dork.” I laughed, and she joined me.
It went on for minutes on end, until River regained her composure. “I’m serious, though,” she said. “Come back to me, Ben. I don’t know what I’d do without you. You’re embedded in my soul, and I’m not sure my life would mean anything if you weren’t a part of it.”
I nodded slowly, though no one could see me.
“I will, River. Strava isn’t all that great, anyway. Too much sunlight for my taste. I’m used to our nocturnal Shade and our mighty redwoods. Don’t get me wrong, this place is great for a tropical vacation, but we’ve been here too long already.”
I needed to hear her laugh again. She knew I’d do my best to keep my promise. I didn’t have to say it out loud. River had seen me come back from the dead, after all. A planet in another galaxy was supposed to be a piece of cake, compared to that.
But we both knew it wasn’t so cut and dry.
There was a chance I wouldn’t make it back at all. So, knowing I’d told her that I loved her just now made me feel a little bit better in case of a worst-case scenario coming true. I’d made my peace. Come hell or high water, I’d find my way back to River, or at least die trying.
Rose
I didn’t want to look at this night as our last one as free people, but I had to admit, though only to myself, that there was a chance I’d never see my family or my husband again. Our plan was supposedly foolproof, but Ta’Zan did have a way of surprising us—and not in a pleasant manner.
Caleb’s voice was strained. I knew he missed me as much as I missed him. Most importantly, I knew he was worried sick, and for good reason. We were about to embark on a crazy mission, to say the least. I was going to offer myself up to the beast, in order to save my mother, and to destroy it once and for all.
