I stand rooted to the spot, my eyes fixed on the cabin.
Does she want me as much as I desire her? It’s an intoxicating thought, and a knot of emotions clench in my gut.
Leelee. My beautiful human rescuer, my anchor in this strange world. She’s not merely assisting an injured alien; she wants… me. Unnamed feelings bubble to the surface of my mind, scorching in their intensity. Even with all my emotional strength and my world’s order, nothing has prepared me for this. A thrilling shockwave rushes through me, a sense of fear, hope, desire, and a whirlwind of emotions I can’t seem to place correctly.
Silently, I pull back from the window, not wanting to intrude more into her private conversation than I already have. It’s not my place, even though my heart beats wildly with unanswered questions.
I need to think.
As if piloted by an unseen force, my legs pull me away from the cabin, my heart still beating to the rhythm of Leelee’s name. In a haze, I navigate through the dense forest, not paying attention to where I’m heading, each step a resounding echo to the beats of my heart – Leelee, Leelee, Leelee. Nothing else seems substantial in the face of the chaos swirling within me – a storm engulfing all reason and order in its tumultuous waves.
The untamed cadence of my thoughts only comes to a halt when I find myself at the lake’s edge. I look down to find icy water lapping at my feet with smooth pebbles under the soles of my feet. The frigid cold seems distant, overshadowed by the phantom warmth that lingers on my lips – the imprint of Leelee’s lips on mine.
I walk further into the water, a strange peace falling over me as the coolness envelops my ankles. I stare out at the serene expanse of the lake, its tranquility contrasting sharply against the storm within me. Yet all I see is Leelee’s face reflected in the shimmering waters: the sparkle in her eyes, the soft wave of her hair, her delicate features softened by the flickering light. Each ripple in the lake is a memory of our shared moments, our earlier embrace, our kiss. All around me, in every drop of water, she exists.
Her scent clings to my skin and clothes, a sweet melody that plays on my senses, refusing to be ignored. My mind’s eye paints a captivating portrait of her, filling me with a silent craving. I can almost feel the tender touch of her fingers on my skin, the warmth of her breath against my chest.
Like a dam bursting, the memories of our earlier encounter flood my mind all at once. Her softness against my body, the tremble of her fingers as they explored my skin, and the taste of her imprinted on my tongue. It all washes over me, wave after icy-sweet wave, my core heated up by thoughts of her as my skin prickles from the cold water lapping against my ankles.
I know that I want Leelee – desperately. Her words make me think she feels similar. However, would she feel the same if she knew my true nature and my race’s relentless quest to subjugate every planet we encounter? I suspect not. Plagued with a gnawing worry, I pace along the water’s edge.
My instinct screams at me to hide what my initial intentions were when I came to this planet.
Would Leelee still look at me with those soft, adoring eyes if she knew the truth? What would she think if she knew that my arrival on this planet was intended as the first step in domination? Even though my resolve has changed, could she ever see past my original mission?
I halt my pacing, my gaze falling on the lake’s placid surface. This planet is a world I’ve come to appreciate, mainly because it houses Leelee. Looking at the beauty before me, I am glad my people do not know of its existence. I never got the chance to launch the beacon that would call them here.
The thought of deceiving Leelee makes bile rise inside me. Our language barrier has protected me from the consequences of my mission until now. The idea of lying to her leaves a foul taste in my mouth. I want to tell Leelee everything – I want her to accept me as I am, but that seems foolish.
How can she accept an individual with a past like mine – a behemoth capable of unspeakable destruction? It seems impossible, yet hope digs its way into my soul; it yanks at my insides, gripping my heart in a way I’ve never felt before, never thought possible. If anyone could have a big enough heart to forgive me, it has to be Leelee.
The future of us lies with Leelee as much as it does with me. And as apprehensive as it makes me, presenting her with my truth is the only acceptable path forward. Resolving to brave whatever storm my confession might raise, I take one last look at the quiet lake before turning to face the most intimidating encounter of my existence – a heart-to-heart with my earthling savior.
Her voice, shrill and saturated with fear, pierces the quiet forest air. “Ravok!” she screams. Hearing her terror, my heart clenches like a fist.
“Ravok!” she cries again, her voice a sharp, stabbing pike through the day’s tranquility. I feel a prickling sensation ignite at the base of my spine, and without another thought, I spin on my heels, bolting toward the cabin. My claws unsheathe without any mental prompting.
“Leelee,” I bellow, my footsteps pounding a steady rhythm against the dense forest floor. Her form emerges from the thickness of the wild, her hazel eyes wide and gleaming with terror. My heart turns leaden at the sight – my Leelee, trembling like a leaf in a chilly breeze.
“Where were you?” she pants, her raw voice hitching in her throat. “I thought—” she chokes, dropping her gaze to the crumbled leaves beneath our feet. I ache to draw her into the solace of my arms, but instead, I remain at arm’s length, the need to respect her space outweighing my own desires. “I thought the men in black had found you.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t think. I went for a walk. I needed some fresh air,” I try explaining. Before she can process my response, I add, “I did not mean to scare you, Leelee. I should’ve realized…”
“I was so scared. I thought that my people had discovered you and took you away. You can’t trust other humans. I mean… you can trust most people, but you won’t know who to trust and who will betray you until it’s too late. So please stay far away from any other humans while you are here. Promise me, you will tell before going anywhere.”
I can barely stomach the trembling fright in her voice. Her fears, the product of her compassionate heart, profoundly unsettle me. This is her planet and her people, yet she fears it, all because of my presence. A promise slips out of my lips, a pledge to put her mind at ease, one that binds me to her and wraps around my purpose like a chord of iron: “I promise, Leelee.”
Her relief washes over me, a soothing balm to the rawness of my guilt.
Eyes locked with Leelee, my throat tightens, a rush of words crowding for release. But the human language fails me. How do I put into words the depth of my feelings, the vortex of emotions that consume me?
“Ravok…” Leelee’s voice breaks the silence. The way she says my name sounds like a promise, a soft echo bouncing in the vast emptiness that expands inside me. A pregnant silence engulfs us, unsaid words filling the space between us, making the atmosphere simmer with anticipation.
I open my mouth to say… I don’t know what, when Leelee startles, as if woken from a waking dream. “I… um, I came looking for you,” she stammers, blushing. “Lunch is ready… if you’d like to eat.”
At her words, I can only nod, unsure of my voice. As we start walking back to the cabin, I steal glances at Leelee. The sight of her – the rhythm of her walk, the hue of her hair shining in the sun – fills me with awe. I add every tiny observation, every shared glance, into a treasure trove of memories I plan to hoard and cherish, like vital relics of our time together.
CHAPTER 35
Lily
Ravok is acting weird. Well, weirder – I mean, let’s be real, he’s a freaking alien. Honestly, what I define as weird has drastically changed over the last few days.
Despite Ravok’s seeming preoccupation with his meal, I can feel the weight of his gaze on me each time I look away from him. I wish I knew what was going through his strange alien mind. He doesn’t seem mad or upset, but something is clearly weighing on him. Perhaps he is just worried about the state of his ship, and I am writing silly, hopeful stories in my head. Although the intensity of his gaze is making it hard to concentrate on my lunch.
It’s amusing and also flattering to watch Ravok treat my plain-Jane chili as though it’s a rare delicacy. He shovels it into his mouth like it’s the last meal he’ll ever have, or as if it might sprout legs and make a run for it. If he’s not stealing glances at me, he is focused unwaveringly, his stark white eyes zeroing in on every chunky, tomato-rich spoonful.
Needing to break the silence, I drop my spoon into my still mostly full bowl and turn to Ravok. “So, I was thinking that I could clean the garage after we finish our chili. I can’t really help with your ship’s electronics, but I can make the space you’re working in not so unpleasant,” I propose, doing an arguably poor job of hiding my real desire. If I’m honest, I’m just looking for an excuse to spend as much time with Ravok before he inevitably leaves my planet behind as I can.
He stops mid-chew, those white eyes bright as they meet mine, setting my heart pumping to a galloping rhythm. He grunts in agreement, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth – pleased with my offer, I think.
I pick up my spoon and force myself to eat – I get low blood sugar sometimes and don’t want to risk getting woozy later. As we eat, a satisfying air of contentment hangs between us. Once we’re done eating, I start to gather up the dishes. Ravok jumps up, rushing to assist.
I can’t help but enjoy the feeling of domesticity humming between us. There’s such simplicity and familiarity in the process of cleaning up together. As Ravok stacks the dirty plates and bowls, I put the leftovers into Tupperware. Then together, we rinse and put the dishes into the tiny, ancient dishwasher. Then I hand wash the few pots that won’t fit into the machine. I smile to myself as I watch Ravok dry the pot. We are a strange couple – a human woman and an alien – doing the dishes, just as any other couple would after a shared meal. I know I’m writing stories in my head, but I can’t help myself. I’ve never needed the big grand gestures of love – I revel in the small stuff, in the shared domesticity and small, thoughtful actions. I’d much rather have a guy pay attention to the brand of coffee I like than buy me something expensive that I don’t need.
Once we finish clean-up, Ravok heads to the garage, eager to get back to work on his spaceship. I watch him go, the room becoming a tad bit lonelier in his absence. I start hunting for cleaning supplies.
